Tag: Stories

Putting The Soul into Learning: Talmud Torah as a Spiritual Experience

Black Fire on White Fire – the multiple levels of Torah.

Every so often, I come back to the following story (see here for the original posting). I find much comfort in the layers that I have gleaned from it. Here is one version as I recently wrote up for Congregation Ahavas Achim’s Shavuot Journal.

Hasidic stories have many layers of interpretation and points for reflection. From the simple niceties of storytelling to deep esoteric concepts, many of these stories require time and focus to explore the breadth and depth of the lessons we can glean.  One of my favorite stories describes the origins of how R. Dov Ber of Mezeritch (Maggid of Mezeritch) became a follower of the Baal Shem Tov (see Sefer Baal Shem Tov, vol. 1 pg. 7-8 or Keter Shem Tov Helek 2 23a).

(Freely translated/adapted): I heard from a Hasid, at some point R. Dov Ber began hearing about the greatness of the holy Rabbi, Baal Shem Tov, and how people would travel from far and wide to witness and receives his prayers.  R. Dov Ber was known as one who had a sharp mind and was an expert in Shas and Poskim.  Additionally, he had his hands in the wisdom of the Kabbalah.  He was curious as to what made the Baal Shem Tov so great. 

He finally decided to travel to the Baal Shem Tov in order to test him.  As he was travelling, he began having regrets, for R. Dov Ber was a matmid, (someone always immersed in study) and he was unable to maintain his learning while travelling, thus distressing him.  He finally resolved to continue, knowing that he would hear Torah when he arrived to see the Baal Shem Tov.  Alas, this was not to be. Instead, the Baal Shem Tov shared a story about a how he was travelling for days and ran out of food to provide for his wagon driver.  He then happened upon a poor non-Jew from whom he purchased bread to provide for his wagon driver.  The Baal Shem Tov also described how he ran out of food for his horses on a journey. While the stories contained tremendous wisdom, R. Dov Ber did not see the wisdom or depth of the Baal Shem Tov’s words. 

R. Dov Ber went to his assistant and told him to ready the wagons for his return trip the next morning, as it was too dark to travel on this particular night. At midnight, with everything prepped to go, R. Dov Ber was summoned to meet with the Baal Shem Tov. 

The Baal Shem Tov asked him, “Do you know how to learn?” 

He responded, “Yes.”

The Baal Shem Tov then continued saying, “I have heard that you know how to learn.  Tell me, do you have knowledge of the wisdom of the Kabbalah?”

He responded, “Yes.”

The Baal Shem Tov then asked his attendant to bring him a copy of the Etz Chaim (Kabbalat HaAri) and showed R. Dov Ber an essay, which the Baal Shem Tov asked him to explain.  R. Dov Ber took the text, reviewed it and returned to the Baal Shem Tov and explained the text to him.

The Baal Shem Tov said, “You don’t know anything.”  So R. Dov Ber went back, looked it over again and told the Baal Shem Tov, “The correct interpretation is like I already stated, so if you think you know a better explanation, please tell it to me for I will hear truth from whomever shares truth.”

The Baal Shem Tov responded, “Stand up, for this passage contains names of angels.”

As soon as he said this, the text illuminated the entire house and a fire surrounded them.  They sensed the presence of the angels mentioned in the text. 

The Baal Shem Tov then said to R. Dov Ber, “In truth, the interpretation is as you said, however your learning lacks soul (ed. Note – emphasis mine).”

At this moment, R. Dov Ber told his servant to return home and he would be staying with the Baal Shem Tov to learn from his great wisdom. 

Many of us struggle with the greater goals of Torah study. Throughout Jewish tradition, we have many philosophies and motives for study, including:

  1. Studying the works of our tradition is an act that is to be done lishma, for its own sake.
  2. Studying the Torah is a process that helps maintain the world, as we learn in Pirkei Avot 1:2, that one of the world’s pillars is the Torah. 
  3. Studying the Torah is for the sake of action, Lilmod al Minat L’Maaseh, study in order to do. 

Yet, even with these goals and ideas, I would presume that we all struggle at times to see the soulful depth of what we are learning. We struggle to keep these ideals in mind. 

If we reflect on the above story, perhaps we can garner a new appreciation for the centrality of Torah in our lives, something we reinvest in over Shavuot. R. Dov Ber did not recognize the Torah of storytelling, of the seemingly mundane. For him, Torah was merely the fixed “text” of Talmud, halacha, kabbalah. Anything outside of that was seen as mundane, unimportant. He couldn’t grasp the value in the experiential aspects of Torah study.  That is, until the Baal Shem Tov opened his eyes to the deeper Torah that comes from experiencing it, integrating it beyond the words on paper. The Baal Shem Tov showed R. Dov Ber the soul of learning.

Today, we are blessed to be able to learn anytime, anywhere, almost anything we want.  This is a blessing and a challenge. Many partake in daily set study, whether Daf Yomi, Mishna Yomi, Nach Yomi, or some other Yomi. Others have set learning based on certain desired quotas and measures that one takes upon oneself.  We can connect to great scholars around the world.  We are fortunate to be able to have access to both the texts and teachers who can help guide us through.  Yet, how many times do we despair because the study moves too fast, or because we don’t recall the material from one day to the next. 

We shouldn’t give up. As we can see from the story of R. Dov Ber, it isn’t just the ability to read a text that speaks to our growth in Torah study.  It is about how we are engaged in the study.  R. Dov Ber stayed with the Baal Shem Tov to learn what being engaged in the text meant.  For us, it is how we approach our learning. If we are consistent, if we are mindful and engaged with mind, body and soul, then we will find true success.  Not just in what we know, but in how Torah guides us in our lives. 

This is the message of Shavuot as we celebrate it today.  Shavuot, as Zman Matan Torateinu, the time of receiving our Torah, is a time to reinvest in our learning.  Many do this through staying up and learning/being engaged in learning on the first night. Others through the communal focus on study activities throughout Shavuot.  In all of these moments, we are tasked with both the study and also the experience of study so as to inspire us to strive towards deeper and more meaningful study.  May each of us experience a soulful learning this Shavuot.  

We are here to walk along the path of spiritual, soulful growth with you. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

The Smallest of Openings

The following reflection is from Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski’s, Living Each Day

Open for me the tiniest portal of teshuvah (repentance), even like the eye of a needle, and I shall expand it like the doors of a great palace (Shir HaShirim Rabbah)

All we are asked to do is to make a beginning in teshuvah, and Gd will then assist us in broadening it.

“But,” said the Rabbi of Kotzk in explanation of this Midrash, “it must be a thorough beginning. It may be the tiniest in magnitude, like the eye of a needle, but it must penetrate the personality through and through.

A disciple of the Rabbi of Karlin complained to him that whereas his colleagues were all making progress in their spiritual growth, he seemed to be getting nowhere.

“Alas,” said the Rabbi. “I have not yet found the key to your heart.”

“A key?” cried the disciple in anguish. “Who needs a key? Open my heart with an axe!”

“No need,” said the Rabbi. “It has just been opened.”

All that is needed is a single moment of spiritual awakening, but it must be sincere, permeating every fiber of one’s being.

P. 178

Open the door! Open your heart!

A single step is all it takes to begin on a new path. Sometimes it takes a simple movement and sometimes it takes a jolt, but with one step forward, we can begin anew.

Take the first step! Open the door to a new path and begin a process of change. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

There is always another chance

One of the ideas behind New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC is to help foster the principle that each of us always has the opportunity to start anew. I have discovered in myself that losing sight of this hope can be quite detrimental in all aspects of life. Unfortunately, because starting new can seem like a daunting task, we tend to shy away from taking the risk that comes from the first step on a different path. Fortunately, we can recognize that every action is an opportunity that allows us to start new, to begin again. We need not do the same action the same way. I came across the following story in my daily reading that I think illustrates the power of desire and hope to rise above the circumstances of the moment and hope for a new opportunity even when things seems almost impossible:

Shortly before Rav Elyashiv was hospitalized with his final illness, Rabbi Rudinsky was visiting Jerusalem and offered the honor of sitting next to Rav Elyashiv during davening (prayer). Because of his advanced age (he was approx. 103) and medical condition, Rav Elyashiv had difficulty standing, and he sat throughout the davening. Rabbi Rudinsky noticed however, that at each Kaddish and during the chazzan’s (prayer leader) repetition, Rav Elyashiv would strain himself to lean forward ever so slightly in his chair.

After davening, Rabbi Rudinsky garnered the courage and “holy chutzpah” to ask the gadol (great rabbi) the reason for his exertion; surely the centenarian was exempt from rising? Rav Elyashiv explained, “Throughout my entire life, I always stood up for the recitation of Kaddish and chazarat hashatz (repetition of the Amidah). Now that I no longer have the strength to do so, I’m considered an oneis (someone who has no control over a situation), and I am patur, exempt, from standing. But a Jew is never patur from wanting; we are never exempt from our obligation to try.”

“Every time another Kaddish arrives, there is another chance for me to try…Maybe the Ribbono Shel Olam (Master of the Universe – Gd) will me strength to stand this time?”

BaDerech, by Rabbi Judah Mischel, p. 484

The lesson of this story reminds me of the famous quote, “its better to try and fail than never to try at all.” Too often we choose not to try a different road because we are afraid to fail. Our mission is to not allow this fear to be our driver. Rather, if we just try to shift a little, maybe just maybe, the shift will open up for us a different road. Its a matter in doing our part and having faith in the potential of change to occur.

For more information and to schedule a session to help foster the courage to take a new first step, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

Placing my actions upon my heart

We all have our task lists.

These are the items we put down to check off during the day. Many of the tasks we set for ourselves are seemingly mundane. And so, we do them and then place them to the side. In the following story, I was struck by the pain of feeling like one is going through the motions of the day:

As a bachur, a young yeshiva student, Reb Mendel Futerfas learned in Tomchei Temimim, the famed Lubavitcher yeshiva. One day, he encountered Reb Chaim, one of the respected elders of the community. Seeing Reb Chaim looking uncharacteristically despondent, Mendel inquired of his well-being and asked what was wrong.

Reb Chaim stared at the young man and answered with intensity: “I am getting on in years. It won’t be long before I go before the Beis Din Shel Maalah (the heavenly court) and have to give an accounting of my every moment.” Mendel was taken aback and confused. Reb Chaim was a role model whose every move was suffused with yiras Shamayim (awe of heaven). He was well-known as an oved (someone who serves Gd) and a saintly person.

Reb Chaim saw the confusion on Mendel’s face, and said, “Let me explain. Each morning, I wake up fresh to serve Hashem and say Modeh Ani. When I’m finished, I take the Modeh Ani and put it in a large sack that I carry around with me. Then I wash negel vasser (ritual washing upon awakening) and I put that in the sack as well. I go to the mikveh (ritual bath), and then put that into the sack. After we learn Chassidus for an hour and put that in my sack. I put on tallis and tefillin and…”

Mendel, who was starting to catch on, chimed in light heartedly, “Oh so the davening goes into your sack too!” Reb Chaim was not amused. He stopped for a moment, looking down at the ground, and then continued in a heavy tone.

“I proceed with my day. I wash my hands for pas shacharis (meal with bread for breakfast), as prescribed by halachah, make Hamotzi, and eat a kzayis (olive size by volume) of bread, after which I bentch (blessing after the meal). All of that goes into the sack I carry. I come to the yeshiva and learn with bachurim (students) all morning and spend the afternoon lunch break learning with students and strengthening them in avodas hashem (worship of Gd). All that goes in the sack.”

“After Minchah and more learning and teaching, I tend to the needs of my home, and put all of that into my sack too. Following Maariv and more Torah, which I put into my sack, I prepare for bed with krias shema al hamitah (recitation of shema at bedtime). Every action and effort in kedushah (holiness) throughout the day goes into the sack, which by the end of the day is almost overflowing. I schlep it to my room and place it next to my bed as I go to sleep each night.”

“I fill one of these sacks every day, 365 days a year. And I have been doing this for more than seventy years. According to my calculations, since my Bar mitzvah, I have amassed 27,260 sacks, and filled each one to the brim.”

Mendel listened intently, and with every sentence he became more confused than before. Reb Chaim had described a life completely dedicated to Yiddishkeit!

“Young man, listen carefully,” Reb Chaim said, “I will tell you the reason for my concern.” He leaned in and delivered a punchline Mendel never forgot:

“Why did I have to put all my Torah learning, davening, mitzvos and maasim tovim (good deeds), all that I’ve done, all that I have, into a sack? Why didn’t I put it into my heart?

BaDerech, by Rabbi Judah Mischel p 465-467

Why don’t I put them into my heart? How many of us look at our lives and wish this was the question we were asking? To grow, we must not just complete tasks, but must give room for the those tasks to be impactful on who we are.

For more information and to schedule a session to work on making your checklists work for you, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

How to stave off forgetfulness

For starters, this is not one of those quick fixes for how to remember more. I believe that much of our “forgetfulness” stems from being overwhelmed by the difficulties of life, or from the increased stressors of life. Perhaps there is a way to alleviate forgetfulness by being more attuned to ourselves and true growth and change. To illustrate, I want to share a short piece I read yesterday from Smiling Each Day by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski (Rabbi Dr. Twerski published a few of these daily readers, three of which I am reading this year and as you have seen, sharing a few pieces with you):

A chassid complained to Rabbi Elimelech of Lizhensk he was suffering from forgetfulness. Rabbi Elimelech said, “Do teshuvah (repent, return from your ways – my translations) and your memory will improve.”

The chassid was bewildered. “What is the relationship of teshuvah to memory?” he asked.

“It is very simple,” Rabbi Elimelech responded. “The Talmud states that teshuvah is so great that it reaches the very throne of the Almighty (Yoma 86b). We also say in the prayer of Rosh Hashanah that ‘there is no forgetfulness before the throne of the Almighty.’ All you must do is put the two together. If you do teshuvah, you will reach the throne of the Almighty. In that status, you will have no forgetfulness.”

Rabbi Elimelech’s wit is more than supported psychologically. If we can free ourselves of the burden of our mistakes by proper teshuvah, the acuity of our minds is certain to improve.

p. 119

When we consider what “proper teshuvah” means, we realize it is about introspection and taking stock of who we are and how we got to this point. It is not merely the confession of doing wrong and pledging to do better next time. It is a whole process with the goal of real change. It is through this introspection that we should be able to overcome those challenges and stressors we inevitably carry in life. I know from my own experience, the times of calmness, the times after having unburdened myself of the heavy burdens I might find myself carrying help in my ability to remember and recall. I attribute this to a lessening of stress.

As we begin this new year of 2022, may we find a path to true and deep introspection so as find an inner calm and renewed ability to focus and through this focus find new opportunities to grow and become the person we hope to be.

Transitions can be hard to navigate alone. If you are someone in the process of creating your own new beginning, New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC is here to help. For more information, please check out: https://achaplainsnewjourney.wordpress.com/about/