spiritual growth – Page 20 – New beginnings: A blog about spirituality, chaplaincy and renewal

Gratitude for the normal

During the week, as part of the section of prayer called Pesukei D’Zimrah (verses of praise), we recite Psalm 100.

מִזְמ֥וֹר לְתוֹדָ֑ה הָרִ֥יעוּ לַ֝יהֹוָ֗ה כל־הָאָֽרֶץ׃
A psalm “for the thanksgiving offering.” Raise a shout for the LORD, all the earth;
עִבְד֣וּ אֶת־יְהֹוָ֣ה בְּשִׂמְחָ֑ה בֹּ֥אוּ לְ֝פָנָ֗יו בִּרְנָנָֽה׃
worship the LORD in gladness; come into His presence with shouts of joy.
דְּע֗וּ כִּֽי־יְהֹוָה֮ ה֤וּא אֱלֹ֫הִ֥ים הֽוּא־עָ֭שָׂנוּ (ולא) [וְל֣וֹ] אֲנַ֑חְנוּ עַ֝מּ֗וֹ וְצֹ֣אן מַרְעִיתֽוֹ׃
Acknowledge that the LORD is God; He made us and we are His, His people, the flock He tends.
בֹּ֤אוּ שְׁעָרָ֨יו ׀ בְּתוֹדָ֗ה חֲצֵרֹתָ֥יו בִּתְהִלָּ֑ה הוֹדוּ־ל֝֗וֹ בָּרְכ֥וּ שְׁמֽוֹ׃
Enter His gates with praise, His courts with acclamation. Praise Him! Bless His name!
כִּי־ט֣וֹב יְ֭הֹוָה לְעוֹלָ֣ם חַסְדּ֑וֹ וְעַד־דֹּ֥ר וָ֝דֹ֗ר אֱמוּנָתֽוֹ׃ {פ}
For the LORD is good; His steadfast love is eternal; His faithfulness is for all generations.

In Rabbi Nissan Mindel’s work My Prayer, he comments, “However, the Hymn of Thanksgiving (Psalm 100) is recited daily because actually we enjoy G-d’s miracles every day, without being aware of them (vol.1 P. 121).” Further, in defining the term miracle, he suggests:

Whats is a “miracle”? We usually think of a “miracle” as something “supernatural,” like the miracles and wonders which G-d performed for our people in ancient Egypt through Mosheh Rabbenu and Aharon. These and similar miracles of which the Torah tells us were certainly “supernatural,” because G-d clearly changed the laws of Nature for our sake. But miracles do not necessarily have to be so extraordinary as to break the laws of Nature. Miracles occur every day in the “normal” course of the every-day life without out being aware of them.
vol. 1 p. 122

Over and over in our prayers, we are reminded that life itself is a miracle. This idea is something we tend not to lose sight of in more static moments of life. Each day, each opportunity is a miracle unto itself. In a way, it is the greater miracle than the single moment, explosive, out of this world, miracles we read about in our past.

As we recall and express gratefulness for life itself, we can build off of the positive vibes that gratitude can provide. With these more positive emotions, we will be better served in attaining our goals and dreams.

May we find the ability to be thankful for every moment, every opportunity, every situation.

If you or someone you know is striving for success in spiritual growth on one’s personal journey, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

Do we ever truly arrive?

Two chassidim were discoursing.
“How do you define a chassid?” asked the first
“A chassid is someone who aspires to be a chassid,” the other answered.
“Well, what person would not want to become a chassid?” the first asked.
“That’s simple. Anyone who thinks that he already is one,” the other replied.
Living Each Day p. 165

I recently came across this story In Living Each Day by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski. Rabbi Dr. Twerski offers the following observation upon this exchange:

Spirituality is a rather strange entity, in that we only have it as long as we think we do not have it. Once we believe we already have attained spirituality, we have actually lost it.
Spiritual growth can occur only when we feel ourselves to be lacking in spirituality.
ibid.

What is true for spirituality is a foundational point about growth in all aspects of life. If we do not see ourselves as always working towards attainment, then we stop growing and moving forward. While it is nice to define ourselves a certain way, and valuable to celebrate milestones, we benefit from not resting on the accomplishment. Rather we benefit from seeing the milestone as another resting place along the journey. Through this recognition, we can use the energy and excitement from arriving to push us to strive further down the road.

If you or someone you know is striving for success in growth on one’s personal journey, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

There is always another chance

One of the ideas behind New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC is to help foster the principle that each of us always has the opportunity to start anew. I have discovered in myself that losing sight of this hope can be quite detrimental in all aspects of life. Unfortunately, because starting new can seem like a daunting task, we tend to shy away from taking the risk that comes from the first step on a different path. Fortunately, we can recognize that every action is an opportunity that allows us to start new, to begin again. We need not do the same action the same way. I came across the following story in my daily reading that I think illustrates the power of desire and hope to rise above the circumstances of the moment and hope for a new opportunity even when things seems almost impossible:

Shortly before Rav Elyashiv was hospitalized with his final illness, Rabbi Rudinsky was visiting Jerusalem and offered the honor of sitting next to Rav Elyashiv during davening (prayer). Because of his advanced age (he was approx. 103) and medical condition, Rav Elyashiv had difficulty standing, and he sat throughout the davening. Rabbi Rudinsky noticed however, that at each Kaddish and during the chazzan’s (prayer leader) repetition, Rav Elyashiv would strain himself to lean forward ever so slightly in his chair.
After davening, Rabbi Rudinsky garnered the courage and “holy chutzpah” to ask the gadol (great rabbi) the reason for his exertion; surely the centenarian was exempt from rising? Rav Elyashiv explained, “Throughout my entire life, I always stood up for the recitation of Kaddish and chazarat hashatz (repetition of the Amidah). Now that I no longer have the strength to do so, I’m considered an oneis (someone who has no control over a situation), and I am patur, exempt, from standing. But a Jew is never patur from wanting; we are never exempt from our obligation to try.”
“Every time another Kaddish arrives, there is another chance for me to try…Maybe the Ribbono Shel Olam (Master of the Universe – Gd) will me strength to stand this time?”
BaDerech, by Rabbi Judah Mischel, p. 484

The lesson of this story reminds me of the famous quote, “its better to try and fail than never to try at all.” Too often we choose not to try a different road because we are afraid to fail. Our mission is to not allow this fear to be our driver. Rather, if we just try to shift a little, maybe just maybe, the shift will open up for us a different road. Its a matter in doing our part and having faith in the potential of change to occur.

For more information and to schedule a session to help foster the courage to take a new first step, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

Placing my actions upon my heart

We all have our task lists.

These are the items we put down to check off during the day. Many of the tasks we set for ourselves are seemingly mundane. And so, we do them and then place them to the side. In the following story, I was struck by the pain of feeling like one is going through the motions of the day:

As a bachur, a young yeshiva student, Reb Mendel Futerfas learned in Tomchei Temimim, the famed Lubavitcher yeshiva. One day, he encountered Reb Chaim, one of the respected elders of the community. Seeing Reb Chaim looking uncharacteristically despondent, Mendel inquired of his well-being and asked what was wrong.
Reb Chaim stared at the young man and answered with intensity: “I am getting on in years. It won’t be long before I go before the Beis Din Shel Maalah (the heavenly court) and have to give an accounting of my every moment.” Mendel was taken aback and confused. Reb Chaim was a role model whose every move was suffused with yiras Shamayim (awe of heaven). He was well-known as an oved (someone who serves Gd) and a saintly person.
Reb Chaim saw the confusion on Mendel’s face, and said, “Let me explain. Each morning, I wake up fresh to serve Hashem and say Modeh Ani. When I’m finished, I take the Modeh Ani and put it in a large sack that I carry around with me. Then I wash negel vasser (ritual washing upon awakening) and I put that in the sack as well. I go to the mikveh (ritual bath), and then put that into the sack. After we learn Chassidus for an hour and put that in my sack. I put on tallis and tefillin and…”
Mendel, who was starting to catch on, chimed in light heartedly, “Oh so the davening goes into your sack too!” Reb Chaim was not amused. He stopped for a moment, looking down at the ground, and then continued in a heavy tone.
“I proceed with my day. I wash my hands for pas shacharis (meal with bread for breakfast), as prescribed by halachah, make Hamotzi, and eat a kzayis (olive size by volume) of bread, after which I bentch (blessing after the meal). All of that goes into the sack I carry. I come to the yeshiva and learn with bachurim (students) all morning and spend the afternoon lunch break learning with students and strengthening them in avodas hashem (worship of Gd). All that goes in the sack.”
“After Minchah and more learning and teaching, I tend to the needs of my home, and put all of that into my sack too. Following Maariv and more Torah, which I put into my sack, I prepare for bed with krias shema al hamitah (recitation of shema at bedtime). Every action and effort in kedushah (holiness) throughout the day goes into the sack, which by the end of the day is almost overflowing. I schlep it to my room and place it next to my bed as I go to sleep each night.”
“I fill one of these sacks every day, 365 days a year. And I have been doing this for more than seventy years. According to my calculations, since my Bar mitzvah, I have amassed 27,260 sacks, and filled each one to the brim.”
Mendel listened intently, and with every sentence he became more confused than before. Reb Chaim had described a life completely dedicated to Yiddishkeit!
“Young man, listen carefully,” Reb Chaim said, “I will tell you the reason for my concern.” He leaned in and delivered a punchline Mendel never forgot:
“Why did I have to put all my Torah learning, davening, mitzvos and maasim tovim (good deeds), all that I’ve done, all that I have, into a sack? Why didn’t I put it into my heart?
BaDerech, by Rabbi Judah Mischel p 465-467

Why don’t I put them into my heart? How many of us look at our lives and wish this was the question we were asking? To grow, we must not just complete tasks, but must give room for the those tasks to be impactful on who we are.

For more information and to schedule a session to work on making your checklists work for you, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

Real Truth

I came across this quote from Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski’s Smiling Each Day which I find particularly poignant for all of us looking for a New Beginning.

“The naked truth” is a familiar expression. In reality, truth is always naked, because if it is dressed up, it is no longer the truth. That is probably why so many people avoid the truth. They are sorely embarrassed by its nudity (Rabbi Eizel of Slonim).
p. 157

If we are truly engaging ourselves in change, we must confront ourselves without any barriers. This is not an easy task. Yet, to truly start fresh, we need to remove the “clothing” of the past and see who we really are before dressing ourselves in our new “outfit” for the next step of the journey.

For more information and to schedule a session, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

Calm Water

My fundamental goal in establishing New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting is to help people navigate the waves in life. Our lives are composed of a series of ups and downs, daily, weekly, monthly, etc. While there is much to be gained from life as dynamic like a wave as opposed to static like calm water, most want a life with tiny waves in the midst of calm waters, not giant waves crashing down.

I came across a quote from a short book of reflections called How to Relax by Thich Nhat Hanh that I found particularly poignant to part of the philosophy underlying my spiritual coaching method:

Each of us is like the waves and also like the water. Sometimes we’re excited, noisy and agitated like the waves. Sometimes we’re tranquil like still water. When water is calm, it reflects the blue sky, the clouds, and the trees. Sometimes, whether we’re at home, work, or school, we become tired, agitated, or unhappy and we need to transform into calm water. We already have the calmness in us; we just need to know how to make it manifest.
p. 16

For more information and to schedule a session, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

Hazardous travel – life is a journey

When we drive or travel along a road, sometimes we come across a sign warning us about hazardous road conditions. Without this sign, we would not be prepared for the challenges of the road ahead.

In Living Each Day by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski, he discusses the importance of noticing the hazards along the way on our personal paths in life.

In ancient times, travel was indeed hazardous. There was always the danger of being robbed by highwaymen, attacked by ferocious beasts, or injured in a violent storm.
Today’s travel is, of course, much safer. But there is one journey that remains hazardous, and that is the journey throughout life, until we arrive at our final destination.
Awareness of the presence of danger is in itself a safeguard, because we can then be alert and on guard. One can take protective and evasive measures, or enlist the necessary help to overcome the danger.
If we bear in mind that life is a journey to an ultimate destination, we may then be alert to exercise the necessary precautions so that nothing should interfere with our arriving at our desired goal.
p. 126

As we journey each day, being aware of the potential hazards is fundamental to reaching the destination to which we hope to arrive. May each of us be able to see the obstacles as we negotiate the day to day of our lives, and may those barriers not hold us back from continuing forward.

If you are someone in the process of creating your own new beginning, trying to negotiate the hazard along your journey, New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC is here to help. For more information, please check out: https://achaplainsnewjourney.wordpress.com/about/

How to stave off forgetfulness

For starters, this is not one of those quick fixes for how to remember more. I believe that much of our “forgetfulness” stems from being overwhelmed by the difficulties of life, or from the increased stressors of life. Perhaps there is a way to alleviate forgetfulness by being more attuned to ourselves and true growth and change. To illustrate, I want to share a short piece I read yesterday from Smiling Each Day by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski (Rabbi Dr. Twerski published a few of these daily readers, three of which I am reading this year and as you have seen, sharing a few pieces with you):

A chassid complained to Rabbi Elimelech of Lizhensk he was suffering from forgetfulness. Rabbi Elimelech said, “Do teshuvah (repent, return from your ways – my translations) and your memory will improve.”
The chassid was bewildered. “What is the relationship of teshuvah to memory?” he asked.
“It is very simple,” Rabbi Elimelech responded. “The Talmud states that teshuvah is so great that it reaches the very throne of the Almighty (Yoma 86b). We also say in the prayer of Rosh Hashanah that ‘there is no forgetfulness before the throne of the Almighty.’ All you must do is put the two together. If you do teshuvah, you will reach the throne of the Almighty. In that status, you will have no forgetfulness.”
Rabbi Elimelech’s wit is more than supported psychologically. If we can free ourselves of the burden of our mistakes by proper teshuvah, the acuity of our minds is certain to improve.
p. 119

When we consider what “proper teshuvah” means, we realize it is about introspection and taking stock of who we are and how we got to this point. It is not merely the confession of doing wrong and pledging to do better next time. It is a whole process with the goal of real change. It is through this introspection that we should be able to overcome those challenges and stressors we inevitably carry in life. I know from my own experience, the times of calmness, the times after having unburdened myself of the heavy burdens I might find myself carrying help in my ability to remember and recall. I attribute this to a lessening of stress.

As we begin this new year of 2022, may we find a path to true and deep introspection so as find an inner calm and renewed ability to focus and through this focus find new opportunities to grow and become the person we hope to be.

Transitions can be hard to navigate alone. If you are someone in the process of creating your own new beginning, New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC is here to help. For more information, please check out: https://achaplainsnewjourney.wordpress.com/about/

When we resist transition

As we consider what it means to make a transition in life, one of the aspects of this process is to examine in oneself how previous times of change have gone. While no two situations are the same, there are clear commonalities in how operate when we reach a transition point in life. Yet, when we look back in an effort to gain perspective, there are times when we gloss over key elements of how previous situations worked. In William Bridges’ Transitions, he describes this resistance as his third rule of being in transition (see links for rule one and rule two):

Although it is advantageous to understand your own style of endings, some part of you will resist that understanding as though your life depended on it.
p. 15

I often find that one’s desire for a new beginning is so great that they will ignore the searching of self needed to know what worked in the past. People tend to want to assume that the past self cannot help the current self determine what the future self will need for the journey. While it is important not to bring all one’s baggage along on the new journey, all new journeys are informed by the events of the past.

As an exercise, notice the next time you are thinking about a transition what past situations comes to mind. I would offer that you might be surprised to relive stories of younger years that at first glance don’t seem to relate. It might be a relationship gone bad, a choice that you made which you wish you could do over, a conversation you wish you hadn’t had. Whatever the memory, instead of trying to block it out or trying to ignore it, sit with it and investigate what it might be trying to tell you now.

As you work towards your new journey, may the memories of past changes be a helpful guide to your molding your new self.

If you are someone in the process of creating your own new beginning, New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC is here to help. For more information, please check out: https://achaplainsnewjourney.wordpress.com/about/

Am I Living or Existing?

The inspiration for this piece came from a question posed on a WhatsApp group I am part of with friends from my year of study in Israel over 20 years ago.

Genesis 47:8-9 describes a conversation between Pharaoh and Jacob after Jacob and his family arrive in Egypt.

וַיֹּ֥אמֶר פַּרְעֹ֖ה אֶֽל־יַעֲקֹ֑ב כַּמָּ֕ה יְמֵ֖י שְׁנֵ֥י חַיֶּֽיךָ׃
Pharaoh asked Jacob, “How many are the days of the years of your life?”
וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יַעֲקֹב֙ אֶל־פַּרְעֹ֔ה יְמֵי֙ שְׁנֵ֣י מְגוּרַ֔י שְׁלֹשִׁ֥ים וּמְאַ֖ת שָׁנָ֑ה מְעַ֣ט וְרָעִ֗ים הָיוּ֙ יְמֵי֙ שְׁנֵ֣י חַיַּ֔י וְלֹ֣א הִשִּׂ֗יגוּ אֶת־יְמֵי֙ שְׁנֵי֙ חַיֵּ֣י אֲבֹתַ֔י בִּימֵ֖י מְגוּרֵיהֶֽם׃
And Jacob answered Pharaoh, “The days of the years of my sojourn [on earth] are one hundred and thirty. Few and hard have been the days of the years of my life, nor do they come up to the life spans of my fathers during their sojourns.”

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch suggests that underlying the question and answer posed in these verses is a lesson about how we view our lives. As he states:

“V. 8 – Still today, royalty, whose time naturally is extremely previous at audiences, as a rule just throw out a few short words or enquiries, the replies to which they are in reality entirely indifferent. But it must be rare indeed for a king to have understood to secure more delicacy in a few interrogative words than Pharaoh did here. And even more seldom has the person addressed expressed more wisdom in a short reply, than Jacob did here. When one counts by years, one does not reckon any more the days. It is only with a few select people that each day is full of importance and is considered by them as having a special meaning. A really true human being does not lives years but days…”

After elaborating on the underlying philosophy behind Pharaoh’s question, Rabbi Hirsch presents his take on Jacob’s response:

” V. 9 – In his reply Jacob differentiates between living and existing. ‘You ask after the days of the years of my life. I have not lived much. I have sojourned on earth during one hundred and thirty years. The days of the years that I can really call my life (on which I really fully carried out all that I should) were in reality only few, and they were just the bitterest and those most full of worry…'”

R. Hirsch is suggesting in his in depth analysis of this dialogue a question for each of us to reflect on. Are we living or merely existing? Do we find each day meaningful in some way or is life merely a series of “groundhog” like days? We desire to make an impact, to live meaningful, fulfilling lives.

In fostering a new beginning, a primary goal is to change the direction of the path we have been cultivating because it seems monotonous. We can do this through a variety of means. We can foster our desire to help others, to reconnect to those we care about, to come back to a latent spirituality and creativity that might have been purposefully left dormant for years.

May each of us experience life as daily living and not merely as existence.

If you or someone you know is trying to foster a renewed sense of living life to the fullest, New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC is here to help. For more information, please check out: https://achaplainsnewjourney.wordpress.com/about/