Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski – Page 2 – New beginnings: A blog about spirituality, chaplaincy and renewal

Do we ever truly arrive?

Two chassidim were discoursing.
“How do you define a chassid?” asked the first
“A chassid is someone who aspires to be a chassid,” the other answered.
“Well, what person would not want to become a chassid?” the first asked.
“That’s simple. Anyone who thinks that he already is one,” the other replied.
Living Each Day p. 165

I recently came across this story In Living Each Day by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski. Rabbi Dr. Twerski offers the following observation upon this exchange:

Spirituality is a rather strange entity, in that we only have it as long as we think we do not have it. Once we believe we already have attained spirituality, we have actually lost it.
Spiritual growth can occur only when we feel ourselves to be lacking in spirituality.
ibid.

What is true for spirituality is a foundational point about growth in all aspects of life. If we do not see ourselves as always working towards attainment, then we stop growing and moving forward. While it is nice to define ourselves a certain way, and valuable to celebrate milestones, we benefit from not resting on the accomplishment. Rather we benefit from seeing the milestone as another resting place along the journey. Through this recognition, we can use the energy and excitement from arriving to push us to strive further down the road.

If you or someone you know is striving for success in growth on one’s personal journey, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

Real Truth

I came across this quote from Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski’s Smiling Each Day which I find particularly poignant for all of us looking for a New Beginning.

“The naked truth” is a familiar expression. In reality, truth is always naked, because if it is dressed up, it is no longer the truth. That is probably why so many people avoid the truth. They are sorely embarrassed by its nudity (Rabbi Eizel of Slonim).
p. 157

If we are truly engaging ourselves in change, we must confront ourselves without any barriers. This is not an easy task. Yet, to truly start fresh, we need to remove the “clothing” of the past and see who we really are before dressing ourselves in our new “outfit” for the next step of the journey.

For more information and to schedule a session, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

Pray for minimum sin

While we are always striving for perfection, reality is that we will always be faced with making mistakes and errors. It in how we learn from these imperfections that can help us truly improve and grow.

In Living Each Day, Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski suggests the following interpretation of a little know prayer to be recited before Kiddush on Friday night.

Grant us that we may welcome many Sabbaths amidst much joy, with abundance and honor, and with a minimum of sins

Why pray for a minimum of sins? Why not pray to be completely free of sin?
Sins are mistakes in life, and no person goes through life without making any mistakes.
Mistakes can be valuable experiences and can teach us a great deal, but only if we are open minded and willing to learn, willing to accept both reprimand and guidance.
We can learn just as well from minor mistakes as from very serious mistakes. If we do learn from minor mistakes, we may well be able to prevent major ones. If we dismiss minor mistakes as trivia, as insignificant, then we learn nothing from them, and we render ourselves vulnerable to more serious mistakes.
So we pray for ‘minimal’ mistakes. But we must be wise to know how to benefit from them.
P. 127

If you are someone in the process of creating your own new beginning, trying to negotiate the hazard along your journey, New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC is here to help. For more information, please check out: https://achaplainsnewjourney.wordpress.com/about/

Hazardous travel – life is a journey

When we drive or travel along a road, sometimes we come across a sign warning us about hazardous road conditions. Without this sign, we would not be prepared for the challenges of the road ahead.

In Living Each Day by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski, he discusses the importance of noticing the hazards along the way on our personal paths in life.

In ancient times, travel was indeed hazardous. There was always the danger of being robbed by highwaymen, attacked by ferocious beasts, or injured in a violent storm.
Today’s travel is, of course, much safer. But there is one journey that remains hazardous, and that is the journey throughout life, until we arrive at our final destination.
Awareness of the presence of danger is in itself a safeguard, because we can then be alert and on guard. One can take protective and evasive measures, or enlist the necessary help to overcome the danger.
If we bear in mind that life is a journey to an ultimate destination, we may then be alert to exercise the necessary precautions so that nothing should interfere with our arriving at our desired goal.
p. 126

As we journey each day, being aware of the potential hazards is fundamental to reaching the destination to which we hope to arrive. May each of us be able to see the obstacles as we negotiate the day to day of our lives, and may those barriers not hold us back from continuing forward.

How to stave off forgetfulness

For starters, this is not one of those quick fixes for how to remember more. I believe that much of our “forgetfulness” stems from being overwhelmed by the difficulties of life, or from the increased stressors of life. Perhaps there is a way to alleviate forgetfulness by being more attuned to ourselves and true growth and change. To illustrate, I want to share a short piece I read yesterday from Smiling Each Day by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski (Rabbi Dr. Twerski published a few of these daily readers, three of which I am reading this year and as you have seen, sharing a few pieces with you):

A chassid complained to Rabbi Elimelech of Lizhensk he was suffering from forgetfulness. Rabbi Elimelech said, “Do teshuvah (repent, return from your ways – my translations) and your memory will improve.”
The chassid was bewildered. “What is the relationship of teshuvah to memory?” he asked.
“It is very simple,” Rabbi Elimelech responded. “The Talmud states that teshuvah is so great that it reaches the very throne of the Almighty (Yoma 86b). We also say in the prayer of Rosh Hashanah that ‘there is no forgetfulness before the throne of the Almighty.’ All you must do is put the two together. If you do teshuvah, you will reach the throne of the Almighty. In that status, you will have no forgetfulness.”
Rabbi Elimelech’s wit is more than supported psychologically. If we can free ourselves of the burden of our mistakes by proper teshuvah, the acuity of our minds is certain to improve.
p. 119

When we consider what “proper teshuvah” means, we realize it is about introspection and taking stock of who we are and how we got to this point. It is not merely the confession of doing wrong and pledging to do better next time. It is a whole process with the goal of real change. It is through this introspection that we should be able to overcome those challenges and stressors we inevitably carry in life. I know from my own experience, the times of calmness, the times after having unburdened myself of the heavy burdens I might find myself carrying help in my ability to remember and recall. I attribute this to a lessening of stress.

As we begin this new year of 2022, may we find a path to true and deep introspection so as find an inner calm and renewed ability to focus and through this focus find new opportunities to grow and become the person we hope to be.

Transitions can be hard to navigate alone. If you are someone in the process of creating your own new beginning, New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC is here to help. For more information, please check out: https://achaplainsnewjourney.wordpress.com/about/

Celebrating hope – chanukkah day 1

Last night we began the eight day celebration of Hanukkah. The traditional story of Hanukkah describes how the Hasmoneans, upon recapturing the Temple Mount from the Seleucid Greeks, where left without the ability to light the menorah in the Temple. Fortunately, after much searching, they came across a single jug of oil, which would have been sufficient to last for one day. Miraculously, the oil burned for eight days until they could get more pure olive oil to light the menorah on a daily basis as part of the Temple ritual.

One of the famous questions about this miraculous event is why do we light for eight nights when the miracle was that while they had enough for one night, the oil lasted an additional seven nights? One answer to this question is presented in Growing Each Day by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski. He states:

…They did light the Menorah anyway, reasoning that it was best to do what was within their ability to do and to postpone worrying about the next day until such worry was appropriate. This decision elicited a Divine response and the Menorah stayed lit for that day and for seven more.
This miracle was thus initiated by the Jews themselves, and the incident was set down as a teaching for all future generations: concentrate your efforts on what you can do and do it! Leave the rest to God.
While even our best and most sincere efforts do not necessarily bring about miracles, the teaching is nevertheless valid. Even the likelihood of failure in the future should not discourage us from any constructive action that we can take now.
pg. 86

Whenever we are faced with “not enough,” many of us will freeze and give up instead of forging ahead and having the confidence that our efforts will be of value. While there are no guarantees, this is an example of better to have tried and failed than to have failed to try at all. As one strives for new beginnings, it is important to always remember the journey begins with one step, one flame, one light.

Happy Hanukkah!

For more information about New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC, and how we can support you on the journey through the waves of life, please check out: https://achaplainsnewjourney.wordpress.com/about/

Owning one’s feelings as a means of growth

In today’s piece in Growing Each Day, Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski suggests the value in taking ownership of one’s feelings and thoughts. He states:

We tend to disown those thoughts, feelings and actions that we dislike. Something we saw, read, or heard upset us, we like to think, and caused us to think, feel or act in certain way. We forget that we have considerable say in what we choose to see or to hear.
Psychiatry and psychology have contributed to this abdication of responsibility. Their emphasis on the impact of early-life events on our emotions has been taken to mean that these factors determine our psyche, and that we are but helpless victims of the past…
p.74

There is much value in getting a deeper understanding of how our journeys have led us to be the person we have become. Rabbi Twerski is reminding us that while we might have grown and changed, part of growth is being able to own who we have become and and then keep working to better ourselves as a result of knowing who we are.

He goes on to offer the following vignette

A man once complained to his rabbi that alien thoughts were interfering with his prayer and meditation. The rabbi shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know why you refer to them as alien,” he said. “They are your own.”
If we stop disavowing our feelings and actions, we may be able to do something about them.
p. 74

From first hand experience, I can speak to the value of examining how past events in my life which have come back to the forefront of thought can help open up new vistas for new growth opportunities. As we strive for a new beginning in our day to day life, may we find how who we are has helped guide us to this moment and this opportunity for new growth goals and new opportunities.

Speak Truth in Your Heart

In the piece for today in Growing Each Day, Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski offers a comment on Psalm 15:1-4:

מִזְמ֗וֹר לְדָ֫וִ֥ד יְ֭הֹוָה מִי־יָג֣וּר בְּאהֳלֶ֑ךָ מִֽי־יִ֝שְׁכֹּ֗ן בְּהַ֣ר קדְשֶֽׁךָ׃
A psalm of David.

LORD, who may sojourn in Your tent,
who may dwell on Your holy mountain?
הוֹלֵ֣ךְ תָּ֭מִים וּפֹעֵ֥ל צֶ֑דֶק וְדֹבֵ֥ר אֱ֝מֶ֗ת בִּלְבָבֽוֹ׃
He who lives without blame,
who does what is right,
and speaks truth in his heart;
לֹֽא־רָגַ֨ל ׀ עַל־לְשֹׁנ֗וֹ לֹא־עָשָׂ֣ה לְרֵעֵ֣הוּ רָעָ֑ה וְ֝חֶרְפָּ֗ה לֹא־נָשָׂ֥א עַל־קְרֹבֽוֹ׃
”whose tongue is not given to evil;^-a
who has never done harm to his fellow,
or borne reproach for [his acts toward] his neighbor;
נִבְזֶ֤ה ׀ בְּֽעֵ֘ינָ֤יו נִמְאָ֗ס וְאֶת־יִרְאֵ֣י יְהֹוָ֣ה יְכַבֵּ֑ד נִשְׁבַּ֥ע לְ֝הָרַ֗ע וְלֹ֣א יָמִֽר׃
for whom a contemptible man is abhorrent,
but who honors those who fear the LORD;
who stands by his oath even to his hurt;

Rabbi Twerski suggests the following psycho-spiritual reading for this section of verses.

People often fail to grow because they are reluctant to face the painful truth that they have done wrong. We have an innate tendency to avoid pain, and therefore we are apt to conjure up rationalizations that justify our behavior. These rationalizations are nothing but lies – sometimes clever and convincing, but lies nonetheless. Facing the truth and accepting the pain that comes with it requires courage.
People who “speak truth in their heart” says the Psalmist, do not retract their word even if it is to their own hurt. On the other hand, those who constantly seek to change everything to conform to their maximum comfort are only lying to themselves.
Growing Each Day P. 44

As I was reading this piece this morning, I found myself reflecting on the challenge of combating our innate attempts at self-deception and justification. The first example that came to mind was in the area of goal setting, a fundamental element in working on personal growth. How often do we have a goal in mind and yet find reasons to push it off, to change it for convenience or to just give it up because we missed a deadline along the way? How often do we then find justifications for our actions? Life is never a straight line and plans do often get waylaid for a variety of reasons (“Man plans and God laughs”). Yet, do we allow these curveballs to dictate our lives or do we find ways to incorporate the curveballs into how we choose to live?

Everyday we have affords us a new opportunity, a new beginning. A lost opportunity does not have to be the end of an opportunity. Rather, if we realize it is a bump in the road, we can pick up and continue along the path. If we are true to our perceived mission, our perceived goals in life, the bumps along the way can also guide us forward.

As we work daily on our growth, may we not allow unforeseen to completely derail us from our personal hopes and dreams.

Perfection is about process not perfection

In my continued quest for growth, one area that is constantly standing in the way is perfection. It is a nurtured habit of so many of us to “accept” nothing less than perfection. While we all know that there is no such thing as perfection or perfect people, we still struggle to accept our imperfections. I came across an interesting take on this strive towards perfection in the following analysis of Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski o.b.m. in his work Growing Each Day.

It states in Genesis 17:1:

וַיְהִ֣י אַבְרָ֔ם בֶּן־תִּשְׁעִ֥ים שָׁנָ֖ה וְתֵ֣שַׁע שָׁנִ֑ים וַיֵּרָ֨א יְהֹוָ֜ה אֶל־אַבְרָ֗ם וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אֵלָיו֙ אֲנִי־אֵ֣ל שַׁדַּ֔י הִתְהַלֵּ֥ךְ לְפָנַ֖י וֶהְיֵ֥ה תָמִֽים׃
When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the LORD appeared to Abram and said to him, “I am El Shaddai. Walk in My ways and be perfect.”

Rabbi Twerski notes:

If a human being cannot be perfect, why did God demand perfection of Abraham?
The entire context of the verse indicates both the definition of this perfection and the way in which it can be achieved. It is obvious that no human being can aspire to equal God’s degree of perfection. What man can achieve is to live according to God’s teachings and thereby live up to his own human potential; more than man’s personal maximum is not possible of expected. Thus, God did not say simply ‘Be perfect;’ He said, ‘Walk before me – and thereby you will be perfect.’ When a person tries to live according to the Divine teachings, that constitutes human perfection, although one is technically never perfect.
Growing Each Day P. 37

Perfection is a process. Perfection is something we strive towards by living a spiritual, divinely inspired life. Perfection is the ability to walk forward even while remaining imperfect. When we strive to improve, our next action is a first action, a new opportunity and new beginning to get it better. In a way, each opportunity we take in life to live up to our potential is another perfection on a continuum of perfection.

May we strive towards the reframing of perfection as not about the end result but about the process of getting to the end.

Put Your Heart in It

How many of us struggle to find the inner meaning and spirit in ritual practice, whether it is something we do daily or something we do once a year. I recently read a story that illustrates the need for the heart to be a fundamental component in our actions. The story is taken from Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski’s (o.b.m.) daily reader Smiling Each Day (p. 20):

One Succos the Baal Shem Tove was sitting with his disciples and appeared to go into a trance. After a few moments of profound concentration, he emerged from his exalted state with a bright smile adorning his already holy countenance.
“In the celestial spheres” he announced, “there had been a great expression of joy, and I was curious as to what had brought this about.”
“It seems that a simple Jew had been traveling by foot, and in order to reach home for Succos, he took a shortcut through the forest. Unfortunately he became lost in the thicket, and soon realized, to his great dismay, that not only would he not be home with his family for the holiday, but, even more distressing to him, he would not fulfill the mitzvah of Succah! This last circumstance he simply could not bear, and as the sun began to set, he was suddenly inspired to rip off the top of his hat and cover it with branches and leaves. Being a person of little learning, he thought this would constitute a succah, and so, danced with joy that he had thought of a way to fulfill this precious mitzvah.”
The holy master concluded, “Although he of course did not fulfill the mitzvah, his intent was so pure and sincere that it caused great joy among the Heavenly host.”

From this story, Rabbi Dr. Twerski suggests that while it is important to fulfill the rituals properly, it is equally important to find the inner heart within the fulfillment. Taking this a step further, the ideal focus of our actions should include a sense that each time we perform an act, a ritual, we are doing something new, even if it is a daily practice. We always have a new opportunity to infuse our actions with heart.

As we approach the end of the fall Jewish holiday season, may the joy and meaning was have felt during this time carry us into the remainder of the year, helping us find new beginnings each and every day. May our daily routines be infused with a renewed love and joy for what we have the opportunity to do.