One of the challenges of growth relates to wishing we had something we think we are missing a feeling. When we are deep in sadness we feel as though we have no happiness. When we are frustrated constantly, we look to those who seem content and wish we had a more relaxed demeanor. Who doesn’t ask themselves “how do I acquire that positive feeling?”
Fear not: The positive emotions and character traits you are looking for already live inside of you. True growth comes from unveiling what is already inside. We do not have to search outside of ourselves to acquire change. We can, ourselves or often with the help of others, search inside ourselves, investigate the path we have taken and finding the tools necessary that we collected along the old path to help forge a New Beginning.
As a chaplain/spiritual care provider for many years, working in hospice and senior care, my philosophy of care and support has been to be with others and foster the revelation of the already developed and nurtured feelings they carried deep down. I believe that if we examine our lived experiences, we will find the tools necessary to handle most challenges, from grief and loss to traumas and tragedies as well as the unexpected shadows that often come from good times. It is through the self-discovery that so many are able to walk forward step by step during the times when it feels like we are stagnant.
New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC is based on this same principle. I am here to foster this approach to personal growth in whatever stage of life one finds oneself. If you or someone you know is looking to unveil what is covered up inside and learn how to incorporate these newly revealed aspects of yourself, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com
One of the biggest challenges in finding a true balance in life is how much our profession becomes our defining character trait. Most of us tend to introduce ourselves by our profession because it is something concrete to hang our hat on. Yet, the professional we are is not who we are.
Over the course of the past few weeks, the Torah cycle has arrived at the building of the Tabernacle in the desert. In a few places throughout this latter part of Exodus, Gd warns the people that while building the Tabernacle is of much value, the people must be careful to not work on it on Shabbat. R. Eliezer Melamed in the introduction to his work on the Laws of Shabbat vol. 1, expresses an idea about this connection which I feel speaks to the challenge of getting to who we really are:
One might have thought that only secular activities would be prohibited on Shabbat, but actually the Torah prohibits any type of activity necessary for the construction of the Mishkan (the Tabernacle erected by the Israelites in the desert). Moreover, the 39 melakhot (types of labor forbidden on Shabbat) are derived from the work done for the Mishkan, and all forms of labor that were involved in assembling the Mishkan are prohibited on Shabbat. Thus, juxtaposed to the descriptions of the work done in the Mishkan we read, ‘Nevertheless, you must keep My Shabbatot (Shemot 31:13), which teaches us that although erecting the Mishkan is a great mitzva, one must desist even from on Shabbat. For even crafting the Mishkan needs to be connected to its inner divine essence. If this were not the case, all the difficulties in putting up the Mishkan would be left like a body without a soul, unable to fulfill its purpose of revealing the word of Gd to the world. Sometimes it is specifically those whose work is linked to the holy who need to be particularly careful about this, because due to their awareness of the value of the holy they are likely to invest their all in building a framework for it, to the point that forget its inner essence.
Laws of Shabbat vol. 1 p 14-15
Shabbat is a day of rest from those things which distract us from getting to our core, our essence. It is the day that allows us to “check” on our foundation, making sure what is truly holding us up is not just “smoke and mirrors.”
We are always striving to achieve but are those achievements built on a strong or a weak foundation. As each of us looks to new opportunities, new beginnings, are we being careful to reinforce those parts of us with which we are traveling forward on this journey in life? Are we uncovering the inner essence of what makes each of us special, unique, or are we just making the framework look more beautiful?
May each of us find the beauty in Shabbat and find the spark that helps to reinforce our inner essence.
If you or someone you know is struggling to see your inner essence as part of your spiritual journey, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.
Being our imperfect selves is the epitome of being spiritual. As we strive to manage the ups and downs of our imperfect lives, may we remember that in the struggle is the spiritual.
If you or someone you know is striving for success in growth on one’s personal spiritual journey, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.
Enter His gates with praise, His courts with acclamation. Praise Him! Bless His name!
כִּי־ט֣וֹב יְ֭הֹוָה לְעוֹלָ֣ם חַסְדּ֑וֹ וְעַד־דֹּ֥ר וָ֝דֹ֗ר אֱמוּנָתֽוֹ׃ {פ} For the LORD is good; His steadfast love is eternal; His faithfulness is for all generations.
In Rabbi Nissan Mindel’s work My Prayer, he comments, “However, the Hymn of Thanksgiving (Psalm 100) is recited daily because actually we enjoy G-d’s miracles every day, without being aware of them (vol.1 P. 121).” Further, in defining the term miracle, he suggests:
Whats is a “miracle”? We usually think of a “miracle” as something “supernatural,” like the miracles and wonders which G-d performed for our people in ancient Egypt through Mosheh Rabbenu and Aharon. These and similar miracles of which the Torah tells us were certainly “supernatural,” because G-d clearly changed the laws of Nature for our sake. But miracles do not necessarily have to be so extraordinary as to break the laws of Nature. Miracles occur every day in the “normal” course of the every-day life without out being aware of them.
vol. 1 p. 122
Over and over in our prayers, we are reminded that life itself is a miracle. This idea is something we tend not to lose sight of in more static moments of life. Each day, each opportunity is a miracle unto itself. In a way, it is the greater miracle than the single moment, explosive, out of this world, miracles we read about in our past.
As we recall and express gratefulness for life itself, we can build off of the positive vibes that gratitude can provide. With these more positive emotions, we will be better served in attaining our goals and dreams.
May we find the ability to be thankful for every moment, every opportunity, every situation.
If you or someone you know is striving for success in spiritual growth on one’s personal journey, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.
“A chassid is someone who aspires to be a chassid,” the other answered.
“Well, what person would not want to become a chassid?” the first asked.
“That’s simple. Anyone who thinks that he already is one,” the other replied.
Living Each Day p. 165
I recently came across this story In Living Each Day by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski. Rabbi Dr. Twerski offers the following observation upon this exchange:
Spirituality is a rather strange entity, in that we only have it as long as we think we do not have it. Once we believe we already have attained spirituality, we have actually lost it.
Spiritual growth can occur only when we feel ourselves to be lacking in spirituality.
ibid.
What is true for spirituality is a foundational point about growth in all aspects of life. If we do not see ourselves as always working towards attainment, then we stop growing and moving forward. While it is nice to define ourselves a certain way, and valuable to celebrate milestones, we benefit from not resting on the accomplishment. Rather we benefit from seeing the milestone as another resting place along the journey. Through this recognition, we can use the energy and excitement from arriving to push us to strive further down the road.
If you or someone you know is striving for success in growth on one’s personal journey, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.
Whenever we embark on a new beginning, something must first come to an end. Even if it is not an absolute end, something changes in order to lead us to the beginning of a new road. William Bridges describes this as his fourth rule in Transitions (see links for rule one, rule two and rule three).
First there is an ending, then a beginning, and an important empty or fallow time in between.
Transitions p. 17
Bridges argues that the true transition occurs in the middle process, the in between time. It is during this time that a person can truly evaluate and investigate the road ahead. The road is an unknown but even for the unknown there is an intuitive sense of what we need to go forward.
An ending doesn’t have to mean we leave everything behind. It means we have exited one road to enter a new road and the goal is to find the clearest map possible to forge ahead, while also recognizing that we will discover things along the new road we weren’t prepared for.
If you or someone you know is in a transition phase of life, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.
One of the ideas behind New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC is to help foster the principle that each of us always has the opportunity to start anew. I have discovered in myself that losing sight of this hope can be quite detrimental in all aspects of life. Unfortunately, because starting new can seem like a daunting task, we tend to shy away from taking the risk that comes from the first step on a different path. Fortunately, we can recognize that every action is an opportunity that allows us to start new, to begin again. We need not do the same action the same way. I came across the following story in my daily reading that I think illustrates the power of desire and hope to rise above the circumstances of the moment and hope for a new opportunity even when things seems almost impossible:
Shortly before Rav Elyashiv was hospitalized with his final illness, Rabbi Rudinsky was visiting Jerusalem and offered the honor of sitting next to Rav Elyashiv during davening (prayer). Because of his advanced age (he was approx. 103) and medical condition, Rav Elyashiv had difficulty standing, and he sat throughout the davening. Rabbi Rudinsky noticed however, that at each Kaddish and during the chazzan’s (prayer leader) repetition, Rav Elyashiv would strain himself to lean forward ever so slightly in his chair.
After davening, Rabbi Rudinsky garnered the courage and “holy chutzpah” to ask the gadol (great rabbi) the reason for his exertion; surely the centenarian was exempt from rising? Rav Elyashiv explained, “Throughout my entire life, I always stood up for the recitation of Kaddish and chazarat hashatz (repetition of the Amidah). Now that I no longer have the strength to do so, I’m considered an oneis (someone who has no control over a situation), and I am patur, exempt, from standing. But a Jew is never patur from wanting; we are never exempt from our obligation to try.”
“Every time another Kaddish arrives, there is another chance for me to try…Maybe the Ribbono Shel Olam (Master of the Universe – Gd) will me strength to stand this time?”
The lesson of this story reminds me of the famous quote, “its better to try and fail than never to try at all.” Too often we choose not to try a different road because we are afraid to fail. Our mission is to not allow this fear to be our driver. Rather, if we just try to shift a little, maybe just maybe, the shift will open up for us a different road. Its a matter in doing our part and having faith in the potential of change to occur.
For more information and to schedule a session to help foster the courage to take a new first step, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.
These are the items we put down to check off during the day. Many of the tasks we set for ourselves are seemingly mundane. And so, we do them and then place them to the side. In the following story, I was struck by the pain of feeling like one is going through the motions of the day:
As a bachur, a young yeshiva student, Reb Mendel Futerfas learned in Tomchei Temimim, the famed Lubavitcher yeshiva. One day, he encountered Reb Chaim, one of the respected elders of the community. Seeing Reb Chaim looking uncharacteristically despondent, Mendel inquired of his well-being and asked what was wrong.
Reb Chaim stared at the young man and answered with intensity: “I am getting on in years. It won’t be long before I go before the Beis Din Shel Maalah (the heavenly court) and have to give an accounting of my every moment.” Mendel was taken aback and confused. Reb Chaim was a role model whose every move was suffused with yiras Shamayim (awe of heaven). He was well-known as an oved (someone who serves Gd) and a saintly person.
Reb Chaim saw the confusion on Mendel’s face, and said, “Let me explain. Each morning, I wake up fresh to serve Hashem and say Modeh Ani. When I’m finished, I take the Modeh Ani and put it in a large sack that I carry around with me. Then I wash negel vasser (ritual washing upon awakening) and I put that in the sack as well. I go to the mikveh (ritual bath), and then put that into the sack. After we learn Chassidus for an hour and put that in my sack. I put on tallis and tefillin and…”
Mendel, who was starting to catch on, chimed in light heartedly, “Oh so the davening goes into your sack too!” Reb Chaim was not amused. He stopped for a moment, looking down at the ground, and then continued in a heavy tone.
“I proceed with my day. I wash my hands for pas shacharis (meal with bread for breakfast), as prescribed by halachah, make Hamotzi, and eat a kzayis (olive size by volume) of bread, after which I bentch (blessing after the meal). All of that goes into the sack I carry. I come to the yeshiva and learn with bachurim (students) all morning and spend the afternoon lunch break learning with students and strengthening them in avodas hashem (worship of Gd). All that goes in the sack.”
“After Minchah and more learning and teaching, I tend to the needs of my home, and put all of that into my sack too. Following Maariv and more Torah, which I put into my sack, I prepare for bed with krias shema al hamitah (recitation of shema at bedtime). Every action and effort in kedushah (holiness) throughout the day goes into the sack, which by the end of the day is almost overflowing. I schlep it to my room and place it next to my bed as I go to sleep each night.”
“I fill one of these sacks every day, 365 days a year. And I have been doing this for more than seventy years. According to my calculations, since my Bar mitzvah, I have amassed 27,260 sacks, and filled each one to the brim.”
Mendel listened intently, and with every sentence he became more confused than before. Reb Chaim had described a life completely dedicated to Yiddishkeit!
“Young man, listen carefully,” Reb Chaim said, “I will tell you the reason for my concern.” He leaned in and delivered a punchline Mendel never forgot:
“Why did I have to put all my Torah learning, davening, mitzvos and maasim tovim (good deeds), all that I’ve done, all that I have, into a sack? Why didn’t I put it into my heart?
Why don’t I put them into my heart? How many of us look at our lives and wish this was the question we were asking? To grow, we must not just complete tasks, but must give room for the those tasks to be impactful on who we are.
For more information and to schedule a session to work on making your checklists work for you, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.
I came across this quote from Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski’s Smiling Each Day which I find particularly poignant for all of us looking for a New Beginning.
“The naked truth” is a familiar expression. In reality, truth is always naked, because if it is dressed up, it is no longer the truth. That is probably why so many people avoid the truth. They are sorely embarrassed by its nudity (Rabbi Eizel of Slonim).
p. 157
If we are truly engaging ourselves in change, we must confront ourselves without any barriers. This is not an easy task. Yet, to truly start fresh, we need to remove the “clothing” of the past and see who we really are before dressing ourselves in our new “outfit” for the next step of the journey.
For more information and to schedule a session, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.
New beginnings: A blog about spirituality, chaplaincy and renewal 