working towards a goal – New beginnings: A blog about spirituality, chaplaincy and renewal

The Importance and Power of the Desire for Success

I think most of us make the mistake of thinking that our emotions are things that just happen to us. We presume we just feel and that we have zero control over those feelings. And once we feel something, then that will be it, we won’t have to do things to build upon the feeling.

When it comes to accomplishing the things we wish to accomplish, I often wonder if we are just waiting for the inspiration to push forward instead of taking the steps necessary to see our goals come to fruition. In reading a lot about goal setting and striving to become a better self, I have come to recognize that one of the biggest hurdles to success is fostering the will and desire to take on a new opportunity. While it is easy to say we want to succeed and we want to accomplish new things, very often it is merely us paying lip service and not taking action. Last Shabbat, I came across the following piece which speaks about the power of desiring to succeed as the first step to spiritual growth:

The Power of Desire
Someone asked the Rebbe for financial advice. The Rebbe said: The most important thing a person has to have is a strong desire, whether it is a desire to open a business, to build something, to invent something. A person has to have a powerful desire for something, that is the first step. Once a person develops a strong desire for something physical, they should then transfer that desire into something spiritual, and something pertaining to their avodas Hashem, and then they will truly feel and understand what a strong desire is. With a strong enough desire, a person will succeed b’ezras Hashem in what they try to accomplish.
(Shabbos Parshas Vayechi 5784)
Sea of wisdom for Parashas Shemos 5784 – R. Yitchak Meir Morgenstern

We see that desire is not something we just claim to have but it is something we must actively cultivate and embrace. When we fully embrace the person we wish to become or the thing we truly wish to accomplish, then we will be on the road to success. The lack of a cultivated and focused desire to achieve something is often the barrier to reach the destination we have in mind and is the death of so many of our goals and resolutions.

As we continue to evaluate the goals we have set for ourselves, we should take the time to first examine what it is we really wish to accomplish and see if the desire for success is truly there to be our guide along the way. Don’t be afraid if the desire that was is no longer present as it could be we either need to reinvest our energy into our wishes or perhaps we need to make changes to the goal we had in mind and the process of reaching that goal.

In either case, may each of us find the willpower and passion to take our first steps to our desired goals for becoming the people we wish to become.

It’s a New Year and a new opportunity to start fresh. If you or someone you know is looking to forge ahead and set new goals or trying to find a sense of meaning in life, we are here to help foster a spiritual and emotional growth and change. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

2024 – Another New Year, Another Moment of Reflection

Yes, it is January 3. Yes, we are three days into 2024. And yes, writing about goal setting “after the fact” seems out of place. Yet, besides there never being a bad time to reflect on goal setting, I would argue that January 3rd is the best time to have this discussion.

Think about it like this:

December 31, 2023 – We decide on new goals for the year, one’s that speak to our hopes for the new year. We have lists of things we wish to change and resolve to work on changing them.

January 1, 2024 – Yes, we should start Day One. And we do. And it seems so easy to get started because for most of us, January 1 is a vacation day. It is easy to work on goals when the work of achieving our goals is our only task.

January 2, 2024 – Back to work. Back to the grind. This is the day of navigating how the goals we have in mind will meld into our busy lives. And I would guess that by last night, many of the goals we had in mind are already shifting around. Many of us are asking not just how to find the time but where do fit in the changes. Some are already feeling like January 2 was not much different than December 29th, meaning a humdrum work day that came and went.

Which brings us back to January 3. Today is the real litmus test. We saw and felt the exhilaration of starting off on the right foot that was January 1 and then the realistic struggle of meshing our hopes with our realities on January 2. The question is, what did we learn from these two experienes.

When we set goals for ourselves, whenever we do this, it is important to remember a couple of key points:

The goal is the end product and our job needs to begin with not just where we wish to go but how we best think we can get there.
It is OK to try an approach and fail at it. Even in the failure there is success. The January 2 people who struggled to maintain the January 1 process can learn and adapt practices to more realistically to achieve the goals they have set for themselves. A failure is not a failure but an opportunity for growth.
Be compassionate about your choices. One of the biggest obstacles to staying the course with our goals is to celebrate the gains and forgive oneself moments of stagnation and falling backwards.
Today is a New Beginning. And so is tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after, etc. Each day brings us a chance to recalibrate, refocus and reconfigure as we need.

May each of us find the goals we wish to have, the ability to accomplish them step by step and the flexibility to integrate our new hopes into the lives we find ourselves living each and every day.

Climb the mountain to attain the goal

Do we really want to attain the goal we have said we wish we could do? How much are we willing to do to make it happen?

In addition to a couple of other ideas I have shared about setting and working towards our goals, see for example here and here, I wanted to share something about achieving our goals that I was reading this morning. Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski, in Growing Each Day, offers a perspective on our attitude towards goal attainment:

While humans do not have an instinctual goal, we do have the capacity to discover our goals by use of our intellect. We must often overcome many hurdles and obstacles to reach out goals, and we must not allow ourselves to be discouraged by the struggles we encounter. Those who do not have the courage to overcome the challenge are likely to rationalize their retreat by saying that the goal is not worth the sacrifice. Instead of admitting their reluctance, they devalue the goal.

Moses knew that the land which was promised by Gd to Israel was the spiritual goal of the Jewish people, but he knew that when confronted with the difficulties of acquiring the land, some people might retreat and rationalize their reluctance by disparaging the land.

“Only if you are ready to climb mountains,” said Moses, “will you be able to truly see what the land is like.” The truth can be appreciated only by those who are ready to sacrifice for it.
P. 129

The question we must be asking ourselves when we start a task is whether we truly want to accomplish the goal. Are we willing to climb the mountain, working hard at times to achieve our wishes and dreams? What is our motivation? This can be a challenge in itself because motivations change. How many times do we start something with excitement and eventually lose momentum, forgetting the initial motivation?

As you set a new goal for yourself, I would encourage you to ask yourself the following kinds of questions and set demarcation points to review and reflect on the questions to see what continues to drive you and what has changed:

What is my goal?
What do I hope to accomplish?
How do I achieve my goal?
What is my motivation?

And when reviewing these questions during the process, some other questions to ask are:

Am I still motivated and why?
What has changed and how do I adapt those changes to my goal?
Is my original goal still the same goal or do I need to readjust?

May each of you find your goal and motivation to achieve your goal. May you find the resolve to climb the mountain and see.

If you are struggling to establish and pursue your goals and dreams and need help working through the underlying motivations? Or if you know someone who is working on goal setting and needs support in the process, Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

The hardest step is the first step

I think most of us feel this way. We have a goal, a dream. We want to make a change in our lives. And yet, we don’t follow through because the first step seems like such a leap to make. Too often we get lost because, like the picture, it seems like the first step is impossible to reach.

Yet, I bet that once you take the first step along a journey of steps, in hindsight you realize the first step was the same as every other step in that it wasn’t really a leap but it was a manageable step.

These words sum up the point. Do it now, get started. Don’t allow the paralysis, the fear leave you seeing an insurmountable step, when in reality it is not insurmountable. I know this because in many areas of my life I struggled and continue to struggle with taking first steps. We are all afraid of taking the first step and not landing on solid ground, of falling, of failure, of defeat. There can seem to be too many stumbling blocks along the way. And if any of those obstacles really do stand in the way, we can also work to pick ourselves up and take another step, go another way around. Or, if you go back to image above, maybe the way to get up the first step is bring a ladder and use a tool you already have to climb up.

Regardless of outcome, what is most important is the initial moment of striving towards the dream, the wish, the change. May each of us find the way to take a first step today along a new path that we want to open up in front of us.

Are you looking for a ladder to help you climb up to the first step: Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.