transitions – New beginnings: A blog about spirituality, chaplaincy and renewal

Change occurs between endings and beginnings

Whenever we embark on a new beginning, something must first come to an end. Even if it is not an absolute end, something changes in order to lead us to the beginning of a new road. William Bridges describes this as his fourth rule in Transitions (see links for rule one, rule two and rule three).

First there is an ending, then a beginning, and an important empty or fallow time in between.
Transitions p. 17

Bridges argues that the true transition occurs in the middle process, the in between time. It is during this time that a person can truly evaluate and investigate the road ahead. The road is an unknown but even for the unknown there is an intuitive sense of what we need to go forward.

An ending doesn’t have to mean we leave everything behind. It means we have exited one road to enter a new road and the goal is to find the clearest map possible to forge ahead, while also recognizing that we will discover things along the new road we weren’t prepared for.

If you or someone you know is in a transition phase of life, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

Calm Water

My fundamental goal in establishing New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting is to help people navigate the waves in life. Our lives are composed of a series of ups and downs, daily, weekly, monthly, etc. While there is much to be gained from life as dynamic like a wave as opposed to static like calm water, most want a life with tiny waves in the midst of calm waters, not giant waves crashing down.

I came across a quote from a short book of reflections called How to Relax by Thich Nhat Hanh that I found particularly poignant to part of the philosophy underlying my spiritual coaching method:

Each of us is like the waves and also like the water. Sometimes we’re excited, noisy and agitated like the waves. Sometimes we’re tranquil like still water. When water is calm, it reflects the blue sky, the clouds, and the trees. Sometimes, whether we’re at home, work, or school, we become tired, agitated, or unhappy and we need to transform into calm water. We already have the calmness in us; we just need to know how to make it manifest.
p. 16

For more information and to schedule a session, contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or email newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

When we resist transition

As we consider what it means to make a transition in life, one of the aspects of this process is to examine in oneself how previous times of change have gone. While no two situations are the same, there are clear commonalities in how operate when we reach a transition point in life. Yet, when we look back in an effort to gain perspective, there are times when we gloss over key elements of how previous situations worked. In William Bridges’ Transitions, he describes this resistance as his third rule of being in transition (see links for rule one and rule two):

Although it is advantageous to understand your own style of endings, some part of you will resist that understanding as though your life depended on it.
p. 15

I often find that one’s desire for a new beginning is so great that they will ignore the searching of self needed to know what worked in the past. People tend to want to assume that the past self cannot help the current self determine what the future self will need for the journey. While it is important not to bring all one’s baggage along on the new journey, all new journeys are informed by the events of the past.

As an exercise, notice the next time you are thinking about a transition what past situations comes to mind. I would offer that you might be surprised to relive stories of younger years that at first glance don’t seem to relate. It might be a relationship gone bad, a choice that you made which you wish you could do over, a conversation you wish you hadn’t had. Whatever the memory, instead of trying to block it out or trying to ignore it, sit with it and investigate what it might be trying to tell you now.

As you work towards your new journey, may the memories of past changes be a helpful guide to your molding your new self.

If you are someone in the process of creating your own new beginning, New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC is here to help. For more information, please check out: https://achaplainsnewjourney.wordpress.com/about/

To begin new, we must end what was

The other day I shared the first rule of transitions as posited by William Bridges in his book Transitions. The rule described how we gravitate back to the familiar in the midst of transition.

Bridges’s second rule about transitions is very simple yet very profound:

Every transition begins with an ending. We have to let go of the old thing before we can pick up the new one – not just outwardly, but inwardly, where we keep our connections to people and places that act as definitions of who we are.
p. 11

A new beginning requires something to come to an end. In order to create this transition, we must be willing to let go of the image of who we think we are. Most often, the barriers to change come from a fear that by changing, we lose our core self. We worry family and friends won’t be accepting and we will lose the social connections that help fulfill our lives. Yet, as is so often the case, our perceptions of what we will lose are merely the internal voices we project on others because we ourselves are not ready yet.

If we can embrace endings as much as we tend to desire to embrace a new beginning, we will truly be on the path of transitioning to a new beginning in whatever we choose to do.

New ways and the past

I recently started reading and reflecting on a book called Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges. I plan to share some of my thoughts on this book in a series of posts. For now, I want to begin with one of the first points the author makes in reflecting on transitions.

Rule number one: When you’re in transition, you find yourself coming back in new ways to old activities.
p. 7

As we work to make changes, or we find ourselves in the midst of a change , many of us will fall back on the familiar to help navigate the new road. While change presumes a break from the past, and this break is a necessity to affect true transition and change, it is within the familiar that we find our inner strength and resolve to move forward.

For more information about New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC, and how we can support you on the journey through the waves of life, please check out: https://achaplainsnewjourney.wordpress.com/about/