Tag: success

FAILure is not a Bad Word

This morning, while I was writing in my journal, I noticed something that has come up for me often. Like most people, there are things in life that I shy away from because of previously bad experiences. And as many of us do, when I have a bad experience, I carry with me the burden of feeling like I “failed.” It is true that in certain previous experiences, in so much as they weren’t successful, I allowed the sense of failure to push me in a different direction without considering whether to try again. And so there I sat, thinking and reflecting, and staring at the word “failure” which I had written out on my journal page.

After a few moments, I took a deep breath and looked at the word failure again through a different lens. I realized that I was seeing the word in a different way, recalling something I had heard over the weekend. The word fail can also be an acronym for First Attempt In Learning. To fail means that you tried and didn’t succeed and hopefully you will have another opportunity, so that the “failed” attempt is really the first attempt. And while this is a good metaphor, as I was searching online, I found the image above and an article about the word “failure” also being an acronym. Failure is not the first attempt at learning and then that’s it, you give up and move on. Failure is when you try, don’t find success and then come back and reevaluate. It is when you err and then reflect on the mistakes to hopefully come back stronger the next time.

Failure is part of all of our journeys in life. While we are programmed to see Failure as a setback, in fact, failure is part of our forward moving journey of life. If anything, failure can be a tool that slows us down and if used wisely, a way for us to figure out if we are travelling on the right road and just hit a bump or if we need to take a ramp to another road that bypasses the impassable spot. Or perhaps we need to exit the road we are on completely and travel along a road that veers us off from our previously considered goals and dreams.

Today, my hope is that we can all embrace failure as something that teaches us lessons and helps us reflect on where we are and where we hope we are going.

If you or someone you know is looking to forge ahead and set new goals for the journey of life, we are here to help foster spiritual and emotional growth and change. Schedule your appointment today here. For more information, please contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

The Importance and Power of the Desire for Success

I think most of us make the mistake of thinking that our emotions are things that just happen to us. We presume we just feel and that we have zero control over those feelings. And once we feel something, then that will be it, we won’t have to do things to build upon the feeling. 

When it comes to accomplishing the things we wish to accomplish, I often wonder if we are just waiting for the inspiration to push forward instead of taking the steps necessary to see our goals come to fruition. In reading a lot about goal setting and striving to become a better self, I have come to recognize that one of the biggest hurdles to success is fostering the will and desire to take on a new opportunity. While it is easy to say we want to succeed and we want to accomplish new things, very often it is merely us paying lip service and not taking action. Last Shabbat, I came across the following piece which speaks about the power of desiring to succeed as the first step to spiritual growth: 

The Power of Desire
Someone asked the Rebbe for financial advice. The Rebbe said: The most important thing a person has to have is a strong desire, whether it is a desire to open a business, to build something, to invent something. A person has to have a powerful desire for something, that is the first step. Once a person develops a strong desire for something physical, they should then transfer that desire into something spiritual, and something pertaining to their avodas Hashem, and then they will truly feel and understand what a strong desire is. With a strong enough desire, a person will succeed b’ezras Hashem in what they try to accomplish.
(Shabbos Parshas Vayechi 5784)

Sea of wisdom for Parashas Shemos 5784 – R. Yitchak Meir Morgenstern

We see that desire is not something we just claim to have but it is something we must actively cultivate and embrace. When we fully embrace the person we wish to become or the thing we truly wish to accomplish, then we will be on the road to success. The lack of a cultivated and focused desire to achieve something is often the barrier to reach the destination we have in mind and is the death of so many of our goals and resolutions. 

As we continue to evaluate the goals we have set for ourselves, we should take the time to first examine what it is we really wish to accomplish and see if the desire for success is truly there to be our guide along the way. Don’t be afraid if the desire that was is no longer present as it could be we either need to reinvest our energy into our wishes or perhaps we need to make changes to the goal we had in mind and the process of reaching that goal. 

In either case, may each of us find the willpower and passion to take our first steps to our desired goals for becoming the people we wish to become.

It’s a New Year and a new opportunity to start fresh. If you or someone you know is looking to forge ahead and set new goals or trying to find a sense of meaning in life, we are here to help foster a spiritual and emotional growth and change. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

The hardest step is the first step

I think most of us feel this way. We have a goal, a dream. We want to make a change in our lives. And yet, we don’t follow through because the first step seems like such a leap to make. Too often we get lost because, like the picture, it seems like the first step is impossible to reach.

Yet, I bet that once you take the first step along a journey of steps, in hindsight you realize the first step was the same as every other step in that it wasn’t really a leap but it was a manageable step.

These words sum up the point. Do it now, get started. Don’t allow the paralysis, the fear leave you seeing an insurmountable step, when in reality it is not insurmountable. I know this because in many areas of my life I struggled and continue to struggle with taking first steps. We are all afraid of taking the first step and not landing on solid ground, of falling, of failure, of defeat. There can seem to be too many stumbling blocks along the way. And if any of those obstacles really do stand in the way, we can also work to pick ourselves up and take another step, go another way around. Or, if you go back to image above, maybe the way to get up the first step is bring a ladder and use a tool you already have to climb up.

Regardless of outcome, what is most important is the initial moment of striving towards the dream, the wish, the change. May each of us find the way to take a first step today along a new path that we want to open up in front of us.

Are you looking for a ladder to help you climb up to the first step: Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

Gaps and Gains

I recently read The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers’ Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success. This book offers a model for success based on the idea that we should see the gains we have made and build off of them instead of always seeing the gaps along the way.

Many of us, as we strive towards setting and fulfilling tasks towards our ideal goal, we often find ourselves in a place of struggle because we feel unfulfilled. The authors, Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy suggest this frustration results from the cycle on the left of picture, in which we are measuring our goals by how far we are from the ideal instead of measuring them from how far we have come. The gap and the gain they describe is illustrated below:

This is a new way of the age old question of whether we see the glass is half full or half empty:

Daily we accomplish a lot, though often we take it for granted because we are focused on what we haven’t done instead of reflecting on how far we have come during the day. One of the suggestions the book presents is the importance of taking stock at night of all the gains of the day. By just taking 5-10 minutes to reflect and/or journal what we have done during the day, we will find a sense of accomplishment and gratitude for the opportunities the day brought us.

Our journey in life needs the self-reinforcement and kindness this practice can afford us. If we begin to offer ourselves the kindness and positive reinforcement we more easily offer to others, seeing the growth and gains we have made instead of “punishing” ourselves for what we didn’t do, we can find more meaning and hope in this often challenging world.

May each of us acknowledge our Gains and build from those foundations to strive forward in reaching our goals.

Only seeing the gaps and looking to recognize the gains! Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.