Over Shabbat I read the following analogy that I believe speaks to the idea of a New Beginning:
When a person is traveling away from his town, his path becomes darker and darker, because the lights of the town are further and further away. But the closer he gets to ending his journey, the closer he is to finding the next town, he begins to see the lights of the town even before he gets there. The lights of the coming town begin to light up his path, even though he is not yet there yet.
When we head out on a new road, we leave behind what we knew. The knowledge of the past fades like the lights of the town as we keep traveling on the road. The road in front of us is scary as we can’t see what is ahead. Yet, as we move along the path, we are also coming closer to a new destination. As we come closer, the “end,” which is the new start, becomes clearer and clearer.
Each day, as we journey forward, we are confronted with this constant going from known to unknown to known again. If we can be mindful that the journey will lead us to a new knowledge, a new “light” we can travel forward with confidence, facing any obstacles along the way because we know the way will be illuminated for us.
May each of you travel your road to a new beginning with the knowledge that it might look dark along the way but really it is a clear path when you reach the next stop along your journey.
One of the challenges people face when visiting others who are sick, grieving, or in need of companionship and social connection is the ability to recognize that the visit is for the person being visited and not for themselves. Many times, we go with all the right intentions yet somehow it becomes our agenda that overshadows the good that our presence is meant to provide. I have witnessed many situations where the one being visited was doing something that many would consider “not the normal way we act” and get chastised even though the person was finding more comfort in the outside the norm activity.
This week’s Torah portion, Vayera, begins with the story of Abraham and the 3 visitors (angels, servants of Gd). The story is also understood to be a lesson in visiting the sick. The opening verse states:
The LORD appeared to him by the terebinths of Mamre; he was sitting at the entrance of the tent as the day grew hot.
Genesis 18:1
Rashi, the pre-eminent medieval commentator on the Bible, offers a couple of comments on this verse which sees this as Gd visiting the recently ill Abraham, who was recovering from his circumcision.
וירא אליו
AND THE LORD APPEARED UNTO HIM
to visit the sick man. R. Hama the son of Hanina said: it was the third day after his circumcision and the Holy One, blessed be He, came and enquired after the state of his health (Bava Metzia 86b)
Rashi explains that Gd’s appearance is unusual in that most biblical references to Gd “appearing” are into a direct prophecy, so there must be another motivation. The motivation is to visit the recovering Abraham. From this read, we learn that visiting the sick is a Godly act, or to reference the title of a work by a close colleague, visiting the sick is To Walk in God’s Ways.
Rashi offers a further read of this visit. When Gd is “present” to Abraham, Gd “presumes” that Abraham needs to recover further. As such, as Rashi indicates:
כחום היום
IN THE HEAT OF THE DAY
The Holy One, blessed be He, brought the sun out of its sheath that he might not be troubled by travellers, and when He perceived that he was grieved that no travellers came He brought to him angels in the form of men (Bava Metzia 86b).
Rashi finds the description of the weather at the end of the verse seemingly out of place. As such, he presents a Talmudic read which suggests that the heat of the day was Gd’s way of caring for Abraham. By making the heat seemingly unbearable, it would allow Abraham the rest he presumably needed by keeping guests away. Yet, this attempt at removing extra work for Abraham backfired, as it caused Abraham further anguish. Rashi expresses the opinion that this caused Abraham to not only have the continued physical anguish of recovering from the recent procedure but also the spiritual anguish of the loss of a valuable element of who he was, the man of hospitality. As a result, Gd “changes” approaches and provides guests to Abraham to help uplift his spirits.
(As an aside, this comment could explain the strangeness of why Abraham is offered the prophecy about a son to be born both by Gd and then these messengers. The angels were not needed to tell Abraham the prophecy but by being sent, there needed to be a clear cut mission, not just, “make Abraham feel uplifted.” )
As we contemplate this deeper read of the verse, it presents a valuable lesson about visiting the sick and visiting the bereaved. We are there to serve the person, not to serve ourselves. Just as Gd realized Abraham needed the guests and the regular routine to help him heal, we too should recognize that the healing comes from finding ways to promote the individual’s personal sense of wellbeing.
I will bless those who bless you And curse him that curses you; And all the families of the earth Shall bless themselves by you.”
At first glance, it appears that God’s call to Abraham is to leave everything behind and travel forth to start fresh. Yet, in 12:5 we read that Abraham doesn’t travel alone or empty handed:
Abram took his wife Sarai and his brother’s son Lot, and all the wealth that they had amassed, and the persons that they had acquired in Haran; and they set out for the land of Canaan. When they arrived in the land of Canaan,
Abraham travels on this pilgrimage with family, an entourage from his homeland and his property. This would seem to contradict the nature of what we imagine as Abraham’s sacred pilgrimage. How do we resolve this potential contradiction between the divine request and the actual fulfillment of the request?
When we consider the overall nature of Abraham’s appointed mission, I believe that this is not in fact a contradiction but a key to the Abraham story and a lesson to learn. Abraham’s journey needed to be a new start, yet one which built off of his past. Abraham needed to leave behind the elements of his past that would have hindered him, that would have weighed him down. At the same time, in order to fulfill the promise of God, that he would be the founder of a great nation and a blessing to all those whom he encounters, the promise had to emerge from that which already existed. His was a journey that was more than just a physical pilgrimage. It was a journey of internal growth and change.
Abraham’s journey is a symbol for how we start anew. For most of us, the desire to change often leads down a road where we wish to leave everything behind and start completely fresh. Yet, for most of us, this is not a realistic way to approach change, growth and establishing a new beginning. Growth and change need us to leave the past in the past, move forward from what was, and yet not neglect all that got us to the moment of change. True growth and change emerges from the discovery of our core and enhancing those things we have cultivated throughout our lives. If we allow our past to be there as a guidepost and only a guidepost, not a chain to keep us trapped, we can experience the blessings of the new and better path we find ourselves on.
During these past few months, I have been working on a personal goal of slowing down and paying attention, specifically during the three times a day in which I pray. This process has afforded me the opportunity to more deeply connect to the words I recite on a daily basis. At times, I come across something that I have been saying over and over and find myself stuck on the word or phrase, trying to incorporate its message into my remaining prayers and beyond.
The other day, in the midst of reciting the daily blessings in the Siddur (prayerbook), I found myself “stuck” on one blessing
Blessed are You, Adonoy our God, King of the Universe, Who provided me with all my needs.
While I have said this blessing thousands of times, on this day the words resonated more acutely. What does it mean to bless Gd “Who provided me with all my needs?” Am I being true to this blessing when I, like most, spend an inordinate amount of time trying to accumulate, to gain, to “guarantee” I have? Am I truly grateful for what I do have? Perhaps I need to allow this blessing to be a guide to help me cultivate gratitude for all I have.
Almost of the blessings are in the present tense yet this one is expressed in the past tense. Why not say “who gives me all I need?” Oftentimes sadness, hardship, and misfortune may appear to be filling up our lives but it truly is only later, further on down the road, that we can see that it all happened for a reason. Only then can we thank Hashem for what previously seemed to have been bad. A man could have found what seemed to be the perfect job: great pay, great location, and great facilities. He goes in for an interview, thinks he got the job, gets excited, and then finds out that he did not get this position. He is distraught, upset and quite puzzled. Why would he want to thank God for all He does? Only after he gets his new job with better pay, a better location, and better facilities can he thank God for not granting him his originally desired position. Only then can he distinguish the forest for the trees. The Siddur helps give perspective to our lives. (Based on R. A. Twersky).
Koren Ani Tefilla Siddur – Weekday Edition – P. 31
When reciting this blessing, I find it important to take a moment and reflect on how we have arrived at this moment, on this day, to this place in life. By finding that ability to bless, to praise, to be grateful for where we have arrived from, we can find ways to enhance the day ahead, imbuing the day with a renewed sense of purpose. By taking the moment to the see the forest and not just the trees, we can gain an increased sense of gratitude at the more complete, yet always evolving, picture.
May today and everyday be one in which we recognize what was and find ways to enhance the was to further along our new beginnings.
New beginnings: A blog about spirituality, chaplaincy and renewal 