Most of us have a competitive nature. This competitiveness can be positive in that pushes us to success. Yet, this same push can also have negative side effects. Often this competitiveness will lead people to push others aside, cut corners or do other things just for the sense of victory. In this piece by Rebbe Nachman, he suggests that this dark side of looking for the victory can blind us to what is sitting right in front of us:
לג. הַנַצְחָן אֵינוֹ סוֹבֵל הָאֱמֶת, וְאַף אִם יְבָרְרוּ לְעֵינָיו דְּבַר אֱמֶת יִדְחֶה אוֹתוֹ מֵחֲמַת נִצָּחוֹן. עַל־כֵּן מִי שֶׁרוֹצֶה לֵידַע הָאֱמֶת לַאֲמִתּוֹ, יְסַלֵּק מִקֹּדֶם מִדַּת הַנִּצָּחוֹן מֵעַצְמוֹ, וְאָז יָכוֹל לִרְאוֹת הָאֱמֶת אִם יִרְצֶה בֶּאֱמֶת: (לק”א סי’ קכ”ב)
One who always wants to be victorious is very intolerant of truth. The truth may be staring him in the face. But because he is determined to win at all costs he ignores it completely. If you want to find the real truth you must rid yourself of the urge to win. Then you will be able to see the truth if you wish (122).
This is a powerful spiritual growth principle. When we are looking to foster our drive to fulfill our goals, are we blinded by the end game? Do we constantly just look at the ends but not spend time where true growth really occurs, which is the process of striving towards a goal? Do we struggle to find that inner sense of the spiritual because we are always comparing ourselves to the images we think are the truths in front of us?
It is too easy to compare ourselves to others, to judge others based on how they appear and think that their lives are better. Too often the stumbling block to seeing the truth we know, the one in which we are making progress and succeeding in our own journey, is the urge to compete and compare lives. There are few who have fully shed this blindness to the reality right in front of us.
Yes, there are times we need to “fake it till we make it.” There are moments when the appearance is primary, dressing for the success we hope to have (attested to in the theme of this week’s Torah portion, Tetzaveh, which describes the clothing the priests and high priest must wear when in service to Gd in the Temple). We give off the positive impressions on the outside as part of the societal norms. Yet, our true path, true growth, comes from the internal, not from how I am in relation to another but how I am in relation to myself.
Today, may each of us work towards striving to see the truth that is already in front of us, inside of us. May we find the gratitude towards the self for all of our successes, seeing that Truth cannot be fostered when we are judging ourselves based on someone else.
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