Tag: presence

I’m here – Hineni

“I am here.”

I have always been taken by this simple word/phrase. It is one of deepest and most powerful of all calls to action. Are we willing to truly acknowledge our presence in a crucial moment?

Below you will find an anecdote which I often turn back to about the power of being present.

It is told of one of my teachers, the late Milton H. Erickson, who was perhaps the greatest therapist of our era, that a patient, having heard of his healing prowess, traveled halfway around the world to see him. Entering Milton’s somewhat shabby office, he was shocked as he took in its well-worn furniture, overused chairs, and ramshackle bookshelves – rather humble surroundings for such a great man. Erickson noticed him looking around in disbelieve, fixed his intense gaze upon him, and said, “I know it’s not much, but I’M HERE!”

I’M HERE! We can have no better motto. Each of us is more than enough. Each of us is all we’ve got. Each of us and all of us are blessed. We need to know and be assured that our blessedness is not in the doing; it is in the being. We are blessed through no choice of our own. Our being blessed is God’s irrevocable gift. So when the going gets tough, and assuredly it will, each of us can do no better than to respond, “Hineni, I’m Here,” words that have reverberated down the ages. Each of us is more than enough. Each of us is a blessing.

Jewish Relational Care A-Z: We are Our Brother’s Keeper – P.219

I believe this message is one that resonates for all of us. Can we be comfortable in the uncomfortable situations knowing that our showing up is more than enough? Can we accept that sometimes the best thing to do is sit in silence when another is in pain, not worrying about fixing, but just being available to the person? Can we do this for ourselves as well, being compassionate and non-judgmental when we ourselves are struggling?

Part of what drives me in my work as a chaplain and now a spiritual life coach is this presence, this being. How many of us are just looking for someone who can sit and reflect with us during times of transition, times of difficulty, times of grief. I find it powerful in the moments of sitting with someone, just sitting. Yes, to coach and to chaplain requires more than sitting. Yet it requires the ability to know when sitting and being is the best approach.

I’m Here. If you or someone you know is in journeying along the waves of life, allow me to join you along the road to discovery. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Seeing Total Pain

The following quote caught my eye from the introduction of Chaplaincy and Spiritual Care In the Twenty-First Century: An Introduction:

When Amy Greene, director of spiritual care at the Cleveland Clinic, was asked what she thinks people need from chaplains, she responded, “People want someone to see their total pain.”

P. 3

This quote reminds me of the following Talmudic passage:

אָמַר רַבִּי אַחָא בַּר חֲנִינָא כל הַמְבַקֵּר חוֹלֶה נוֹטֵל אֶחָד מִשִּׁשִּׁים בְּצַעֲרוֹ אָמְרִי לֵיהּ אִם כֵּן לִיעַלּוּן שִׁיתִּין וְלוֹקְמוּהּ אֲמַר לֵיהּ כְּעִישּׂוּרְיָיתָא דְּבֵי רַבִּי וּבְבֶן גִּילוֹ
Rav Aḥa bar Ḥanina said: Anyone who visits an ill person takes from him one-sixtieth of his suffering. The Sages said to him: If so, let sixty people enter to visit him, and stand him up, and restore him to health. Rav Aḥa bar Ḥanina said to them: It is like the tenths of the school of Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi, who said that each of one’s daughters inherits one-tenth of his possessions. His intent was that each daughter would receive one-tenth of the remainder after the previous daughter took her portion. Here too, each visitor takes from the ill person one-sixtieth of the suffering that remains, and consequently a degree of suffering will always remain with the ill person. Furthermore, visiting is effective in easing the suffering of the ill person only when the visitor is one born under the same constellation as the ill person.

The chaplain is tasked with seeing the whole person, mind, body and soul. The chaplain visit is focused on visiting the person, not just the illness. It is through this seeing, being present to the whole person, that has a fundamentally positive effect. By positive, I mean to say that the time together is one that intrinsically changes the despair and loneliness most often felt when experiencing “total pain.”

Looking for someone to be present to your “total pain.” Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.