Tag: perspective

Needing Another Pair of Eyes to See our Lives

Are we really asking and searching for the right things in our lives? Are we able to see in the right direction or do we always feel turned around? Is life feeling so challenging that we lose perspective on our bigger picture dreams and hopes?

Too often, the difficulties and challenges in life can feel so overwhelming that we get lost in the narrow, nitty-gritty details of what is going on and lose sight of the bigger picture. This is understandable, as we hunker down and enter a survival mode state of mind. In these moments, our hopes shrink down to surviving the immediate, short term, often at the expense of longer term considerations. This is normal. This is as one would expect.

In the Passover Haggadah, as part of the Maggid section, we analyze a series of verses from Deuteronomy 26 (5-8) as a way of rereading the Exodus story. One line from that section states:

וַנִּצְעַק אֶל־ה’ אֱלֹהֵי אֲבֹתֵינוּ – כְּמָה שֶּׁנֶּאֱמַר: וַיְהִי בַיָּמִים הָרַבִּים הָהֵם וַיָּמָת מֶלֶךְ מִצְרַיִם, וַיֵּאָנְחוּ בְנֵי־יִשְׂרָאֵל מִ־הָעֲבוֹדָה וַיִּזְעָקוּ, וַתַּעַל שַׁוְעָתָם אֶל־הָאֱלֹהִים מִן הָעֲבֹדָה.

“And we cried out to the Lord, the God of our ancestors” – as it says: (Exodus 2:23); “It happened in the course of those many days that the king of Egypt died; and the Children of Israel groaned from the servitude and cried; their cry because of their servitude rose up to God.”

In their pain and suffering, they cried out to God. According to Artscroll’s Rav Shach Haggadah (for more on who Rav Shach is see here), this passage contains a strange grammatical choice, which Rav Shach expounds upon:

We would have expected the Torah to state, “The Children of Israel groaned because of the servitude.  Why does it write instead that they groaned, “from the servitude?” Rav Shach explained this expression as follows.

Man is often swept up in his routine, and finds himself incapable of rising above it to view life from a different perspective. When the Jews groaned and cried out to God, they did so “from” (out of) their servitude. They were certain that their lives would continue forever in the same miserable state as it was then. They prayed for an amelioration of their condition, but such ideas as total liberation or redemption were totally beyond their mental grasp. That this is so may be seen from the people’s reaction when Moshe first appeared before them and declared his intent to take them out of Egypt: “They did not listen to Moshe, from shortness of spirit” (Shemos 6:9) – i.e., from an inability to break out of their narrow mental mode of servitude and relate to the concepts that Moshe was describing to them.

It is because of this limitation of the human mind that it is so important to seek advice often from others, especially from wise Torah sages, who possess the necessary breadth of mind to look beyond the pressing and sometimes overwhelming issues at hand, and “see the larger picture.”

Rav Shach Haggadah p. 99-100

So many of our choices in life come from within a situation, from within the narrowness of the moment. Again, this is normal and expected. And, it is something that we must take into consideration. Rav Shach’s approach is to recall that we need not struggle alone. We need not think we have to solve the problem by ourselves. Once we are open to the possibility that someone is out there to help us, we can be more receptive to that help. The first step is to be open and willing, to recognize that our perspective in these moments is from within the pain and trauma and that with the help of someone not “within” we can take the next steps along on our journey.

We can and should seek out help from someone who can offer a broader perspective to help us see beyond the narrowness that results from the trauma, pain and difficulty we are looking to emerge from. Remember, just like the image at the top of this post, sometimes we just need help being able to turn around and see something from a different angle.

May each of us, in moments of challenge, be able to find the person or people to turn to who can best help us see things from a different vantage point, helping us to engage with and journey through the difficulties and challenges that we will inevitably face in life.

If you or someone you know is looking to forge ahead and set new goals for the journey of life, we are here to help foster spiritual and emotional growth and change. Schedule your appointment today here. For more information, please contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Context Matters

For the past couple of weeks, I was away in Israel with one of my children. We went to participate and celebrate the Bar Mitzvah of one of his closest friends. During the Bar Mitzvah brunch, the Bar Mitzvah boy’s mother shared that part of her goal for celebrating in Israel was to give context to their Jewish living. I was struck by the word Context, recognizing that in the realm of spirituality and religion, context can, and I believe, needs to be an essential element of growth.

What is context?

If we look at the image above, we can see that our perspectives can be limited if we are only looking at a single frame. We, who see the entire image, of course see the elephant in the room. Yet, for the people in the picture, they only see the frame in front of them. When we think about fostering spiritual growth, the same may apply.

For many, the search for spirituality begins by reading. There is so much available to consume about all faiths, religions, practices, rituals, that we can get lost in the frame of reference we are searching in. Each of us has the limitations of the frame through which we are seeing.

After a while, most realize that reading just isn’t enough. We need to explore, see, feel, experience, the practices and rituals. We want to observe people living life in the manner we have read. This is the pilgrimage moment. And while I might be accused of overstating it a little bit with the word pilgrimage, to me, the physical exploration and exposure is the essence of the term. In biblical terminology, pilgrimage was the three times a year of going to Jerusalem to experience the festivals of Passover, Shavuot and Sukkot, putting into context all the things the people were doing in the areas they were living. To see the ritual in action, to bear witness, was all part of the pilgrimage. As such, when we choose to go beyond the study and reading to the seeing, we too are going on a pilgrimage, and in that pilgrimage we are giving ourselves the contextualization of what we have gained from book learning.

In the Jewish calendar, we are in the midst of Elul, the month prior to Rosh Hashanah, a month of reflection and retrospection. It is a time in which we search for how we can be inspired to grow and change during the next year. Part of this reflection period for many is getting perspective on what has inspired us in the past and trying to see things from a broader perspective, not just from the little frame in front of us but from the wider context.

As we march forward, may each of us find the context in our lives that helps us grow spiritually/religiously.

Looking to gain further, broader insight in becoming your more authentic, spiritually focused self? Let me help you along this path! Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Perspective: Working to see the good

Let’s be real. It is much easier to see the negative, the difficult, the “bad” in life. And if you read most self help books, one of the themes that jumps out is the importance of working on seeing the positive, which should help us be more positive. For example, how often do we hear about the importance of smiling even when not happy because it has the physiological effect of eventually helping one to feel more positive (see The Health Benefits of Smiling as an example).

In relating this topic, I am reminded of the opening of this week’s Torah portion, Parashat Re’eh, presents the following choice:

רְאֵ֗ה אָנֹכִ֛י נֹתֵ֥ן לִפְנֵיכֶ֖ם הַיּ֑וֹם בְּרָכָ֖ה וּקְלָלָֽה׃

See, this day I set before you blessing and curse:

אֶֽת־הַבְּרָכָ֑ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר תִּשְׁמְע֗וּ אֶל־מִצְוֹת֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹֽהֵיכֶ֔ם אֲשֶׁ֧ר אָנֹכִ֛י מְצַוֶּ֥ה אֶתְכֶ֖ם הַיּֽוֹם׃

blessing, if you obey the commandments of your God יהוה that I enjoin upon you this day;

וְהַקְּלָלָ֗ה אִם־לֹ֤א תִשְׁמְעוּ֙ אֶל־מִצְוֹת֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹֽהֵיכֶ֔ם וְסַרְתֶּ֣ם מִן־הַדֶּ֔רֶךְ אֲשֶׁ֧ר אָנֹכִ֛י מְצַוֶּ֥ה אֶתְכֶ֖ם הַיּ֑וֹם לָלֶ֗כֶת אַחֲרֵ֛י אֱלֹהִ֥ים אֲחֵרִ֖ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר לֹֽא־יְדַעְתֶּֽם׃ {ס}        

and curse, if you do not obey the commandments of your God יהוה, but turn away from the path that I enjoin upon you this day and follow other gods, whom you have not experienced.

Deuteronomy 11:26-28

Notice that the language of choosing between blessing and curse is the language of sight, “See.” Moses’ exhortation is not just choose but see that the choice is placed before you. And with that choice, via the actions we take, following the commandments or not, will be the driver towards seeing the blessings or the curses of life.

In relation to this verse is an idea I came across from Kedushat Levi, R. Levi of Berditchev, one of the great early Chasidic thinkers. He presents in a variety of locations the following argument. There is an outlier belief quoted in the Babylonian Talmud (Kiddushin 39b) – רַבִּי יַעֲקֹב הִיא דְּאָמַר שְׂכַר מִצְוָה בְּהַאי עָלְמָא לֵיכָּא – It is in accordance with the opinion of Rabbi Ya’akov, who says: There is no reward for performance of a mitzva in this world, as one is rewarded for mitzvot only World-to-Come (often the Talmud quotes singular opinions in relation to the more presumed normative view as a means of recording an opinion that might be a polemical response to other beliefs of the time). R. Levi raised the following question. Does this view work in relation to another adage from Ethics of the Fathers (Pirkei Avot) – שֶׁשְּׂכַר מִצְוָה, מִצְוָה, the reward for performing a commandment is another commandment (4:2)? He suggests that reconciling this contradiction is that more opportunities to do mitzvot is the reward for doing mitzvot.

As I have been ruminating on this particular idea in relation to perspective making, I realize that this message about the reward for mitzvah is another mitzvah is similar to the idea of “smile and it will make you feel happy.” Every incremental action, positive or negative, has a corresponding positive or negative effect. To create blessing, it comes from positive incremental opportunities to do good, to perpetuate the positive.

This is not an easy or simple task. It is a task we have to constantly be working at, to constantly be seeing in front of us. Every opportunity is a choice, the choice to move forward, to take the next step building on the previous step. And if we do fall into a time of curse, a time of negativity, we have to guard ourselves from allowing that path to become the new road. The safeguard is to work to remind ourselves that we can always SEE the choice before us, the choice of turning back to the place of positivity, the place of blessing. Or, as I recently read in the book Now Is the Way: An Unconventional Approach to Modern Mindfulness by Cory Allen:

When we are dedicated to choosing the good, our view of the world changes. It grows into the shape of peace. And so do our lives.

P. 71

May you find the sight to see the positive, and may that sight be the first step along a more blessed path.

Reflecting on how to foster incremental positive change: Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.