Extending a hand to uplift a person

The stories of Genesis contain hints and allusions to how we should live and treat one another. While some of these lessons are complicated by shifting ethics and morality, many others stand the test of time and are important to review and reflect upon. One such lesson relates to how to support someone who has experienced a loss or a failure within life. While we know the dove eventually finds the olive branch, the process was not a simple one.

After the ark came to rest on Mount Ararat, Noah decides to first send out a raven and then a dove to determine if the waters had receded enough to emerge from the ark. In their first flights, neither bird discovered a place to rest, which the Torah makes specifically makes clear in the dove’s first return. Genesis 8:9 states,

וְלֹֽא־מָצְאָה֩ הַיּוֹנָ֨ה מָנ֜וֹחַ לְכַף־רַגְלָ֗הּ וַתָּ֤שב אֵלָיו֙ אֶל־הַתֵּבָ֔ה כִּי־מַ֖יִם עַל־פְּנֵ֣י כל־הָאָ֑רֶץ וַיִּשְׁלַ֤ח יָדוֹ֙ וַיִּקָּחֶ֔הָ וַיָּבֵ֥א אֹתָ֛הּ אֵלָ֖יו אֶל־הַתֵּבָֽה׃

But the dove could not find a resting place for its foot, and returned to him to the ark, for there was water over all the earth. So putting out his hand, he took it into the ark with him.

Genesis 8:9

At first glance, this verse is merely reporting on the fact that the dove returned unsuccessful. However, the verse contains a superfluous comment, that not only did Noah take the dove back into the ark, Noah put out his hand to do so. One of the great biblical commentators of the modern era, R. Naftali Zvi Yehuda of Berlin, the Netziv, wonders as to the importance of telling us both that Noah extended his hand as well as took the dove back into the ark. One phrase should have been enough to convey the point.

In response to this question, Netziv shares a psychological insight, one which I believe we know but often struggle to implement in our lives. He suggests that Noah’s extending his hand was a message of active empathy. The dove failed, not out of any doing of its own, but because the flood waters hadn’t receded yet. Nevertheless, not being able to succeed in the mission, or bring back a “positive report,” which in this case might have been not returning at all because it found a resting place, is also a “failure” of sorts. As such, Noah, not only opens the door for the dove to come back in but actively brings the dove back in, thus showing kindness and empathy to the dove. Noah went the extra step, not just making the space for the dove to re-enter the ark, but also helping to bring the dove in, implicitly saying that I am here to hold you up in this moment of failure.

The question is, can we be like Noah? Can we work to extend the hand out to bring the person with us? Over the past couple of pieces (see here and here), I have focused on the power of not having to go at it alone. This is another aspect of that, but this time focusing on the importance of uplifting the other person by actively supporting them. For example, there is a client I am working with who has a friend who visits regularly to be a companion for him. This friend doesn’t just visit. When he calls to see if he can come over, he will often follow up by asking my client if he wants him to pick up something to eat or drink on the way over.

Part of our journey of spiritual growth is how we interact with others. I would invite you to consider what steps you take to actively help and support others as well how others have helped you in the past in your own times of struggle. Hone those skills! Be like Noah in the moment with the dove.

Don’t go at it alone. If you or someone you know is looking to start along the journey of change and growth: Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.