Tag: Moses

Prayer before Prayer

Every so often, it is important to come back to certain basics of spiritual growth as a means of reflection. Perhaps, even more than that, it is important to habituate ourselves in practices that enhance our spirituality while at the same time finding ways to make the habits into something that continues to feel new. One of those is the opening words of the Amidah,

ה’ שפתי תפתח ופי יגיד תהילתך

Gd, open up my lips and my mouth will share Your praises.

While we could offer the same thoughts on the entire prayer piece, the Amidah, at least as it pertains to the opening 3 and closing 3 blessings, this line in particular is quite special and meaningful.

First, if we consider the structure of the prayer service as a whole, much of what we have already done before getting to the Amidah is praise of Gd. Second, if the point is that this prayer is like a gateway prayer to further prayer, why here, why now? Third, if we are really in this place of struggle, how can we even presume to open our mouth with a prayer to be able to pray?

As I find myself focused on this line, I would offer that a prayer before prayer is the most profound and important of prayers and that it being in the midst of prayer, not at the very beginning of each service is also of crucial importance. If you are like me, by the time you reach the Amidah, you are of two minds. There is the anticipation of having opportunity built in for more personal reflection while at the same time much energy has hopefully been exuded to reach this place. As such, I would offer that the line introducing the Amidah is the chance to regroup and recharge. It is a chance to remember and reflect on how we can only say these prayers because Gd has granted us the ability to speak these words.

I found the inspiration for this in thinking about something from last week’s Torah portion. As Moses is arguing with Gd about not wanting the job of leading the Israelites from Egypt, he tries one last argument (Exodus 4:10-12):

וַיֹּ֨אמֶר מֹשֶׁ֣ה אֶל־יְהֹוָה֮ בִּ֣י אֲדֹנָי֒ לֹא֩ אִ֨ישׁ דְּבָרִ֜ים אָנֹ֗כִי גַּ֤ם מִתְּמוֹל֙ גַּ֣ם מִשִּׁלְשֹׁ֔ם גַּ֛ם מֵאָ֥ז דַּבֶּרְךָ֖ אֶל־עַבְדֶּ֑ךָ כִּ֧י כְבַד־פֶּ֛ה וּכְבַ֥ד לָשׁ֖וֹן אָנֹֽכִי׃

But Moses said to יהוה, “Please, O my lord, I have never been a man of words, either in times past or now that You have spoken to Your servant; I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.”

וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יְהֹוָ֜ה אֵלָ֗יו מִ֣י שָׂ֣ם פֶּה֮ לָֽאָדָם֒ א֚וֹ מִֽי־יָשׂ֣וּם אִלֵּ֔ם א֣וֹ חֵרֵ֔שׁ א֥וֹ פִקֵּ֖חַ א֣וֹ עִוֵּ֑ר הֲלֹ֥א אָנֹכִ֖י יְהֹוָֽה׃

And יהוה said to him, “Who gives humans speech? Who makes them dumb or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, יהוה ?

וְעַתָּ֖ה לֵ֑ךְ וְאָנֹכִי֙ אֶֽהְיֶ֣ה עִם־פִּ֔יךָ וְהוֹרֵיתִ֖יךָ אֲשֶׁ֥ר תְּדַבֵּֽר׃

Now go, and I will be with you as you speak and will instruct you what to say.”

In addition to the irony of Moses using this as a final argument after seemingly having many words for excuses, what is most interesting is the point that it is not Moses who is able to speech on his own but Moses who is able to speak and argue because Gd allows him to argue.

In other words, we may be praying, expressing praises and wishes to Gd, but it is important to be regroup and ground ourselves time and again in the midst of prayer with the notion that Gd gives us the ability to pray and offer these words. Each prayer service is a journey, and on a journey it is important to take stock and recognize where you have come from, where you are and where you are going.

As we work on spiritual growth as it pertains to our prayerful lives, may we recognize the importance of knowing from Whom our prayers come and to Whom we direct our prayers.

Are you working on enhancing your prayer life and are not sure how best to go about it? Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Aiming for the Center of the Dartboard.

Lately, I have been writing and reflecting a lot on focusing on the process, on imperfection and on the need to take growth as single steps along the path to the place we hope to reach. I find myself working daily to take this more positive approach, learning to appreciate how in a way it is all progress, both my successes and my failures. In light of these thoughts I have previously shared, I want to share a short message based on a discussion I’m involved in on Whatsapp.

Life can often seem like a game of darts. The bullseye is the goal we set before us. The dart is the tasks and tools are our disposal as we aim to reach the goal. When we aim and throw, we are ultimately hoping that the effort will lead us directly to the end goal, to the bullseye. And of course, we always want to hit the bullseye but sometimes we miss. Sometimes we miss by a little and sometimes completely. Yet, missing the target shouldn’t stop us from throwing the next dart. The challenge is, do we find the way to come back to the focus, the concentration of previous throws or do we allow the frustration to get in the way, increasing the odds of further misses?

It is difficult to fail, to miss, to be imperfect. I believe that many of the barriers we place before ourselves stems from this one fear, the fear of failure. If we fail, people will believe we are frauds. In truth, if we fail, it is not because we are frauds, rather, it is because there is no perfection and there will be times when we miss the target. And this goes for everyone around us as well.

As I sit here writing these words, I am reminded of the following read regarding the beginning of this week’s Torah portion, Vaetchanan.

וָאֶתְחַנַּ֖ן אֶל־יְהֹוָ֑ה בָּעֵ֥ת הַהִ֖וא לֵאמֹֽר׃

I pleaded with Gd at that time, saying,

אֲדֹנָ֣י יֱהֹוִ֗ה אַתָּ֤ה הַֽחִלּ֙וֹתָ֙ לְהַרְא֣וֹת אֶֽת־עַבְדְּךָ֔ אֶ֨ת־גדְלְךָ֔ וְאֶת־יָדְךָ֖ הַחֲזָקָ֑ה אֲשֶׁ֤ר מִי־אֵל֙ בַּשָּׁמַ֣יִם וּבָאָ֔רֶץ אֲשֶׁר־יַעֲשֶׂ֥ה כְמַעֲשֶׂ֖יךָ וְכִגְבוּרֹתֶֽךָ׃

“O lord Gd, You who let Your servant see the first works of Your greatness and Your mighty hand, You whose powerful deeds no god in heaven or on earth can equal!

אֶעְבְּרָה־נָּ֗א וְאֶרְאֶה֙ אֶת־הָאָ֣רֶץ הַטּוֹבָ֔ה אֲשֶׁ֖ר בְּעֵ֣בֶר הַיַּרְדֵּ֑ן הָהָ֥ר הַטּ֛וֹב הַזֶּ֖ה וְהַלְּבָנֹֽן׃

Let me, I pray, cross over and see the good land on the other side of the Jordan, that good hill country, and the Lebanon.”

וַיִּתְעַבֵּ֨ר יְהֹוָ֥ה בִּי֙ לְמַ֣עַנְכֶ֔ם וְלֹ֥א שָׁמַ֖ע אֵלָ֑י וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יְהֹוָ֤ה אֵלַי֙ רַב־לָ֔ךְ אַל־תּ֗וֹסֶף דַּבֵּ֥ר אֵלַ֛י ע֖וֹד בַּדָּבָ֥ר הַזֶּֽה׃

But Gd was wrathful with me on your account and would not listen to me. Gd said to me, “Enough! Never speak to Me of this matter again!

Deuteronomy 3:23-26

Moses tells the people he prayed to Gd to overturn the punishment of not being able to enter Israel and that Gd said “no.” There is even a suggested idea that Moses didn’t just pray once or twice but 515 times (based on the numerical value of וָאֶתְחַנַּ֖ן), always receiving “no” for an answer (see Midrash Aggadah, Deuteronomy 3:23:13). Moses admits he failed (yes, he also does also cast blame on the people for Gd’s anger and decision to keep the “punishment” that resulted from the Israelites second complaint about not having water and Moses responded inappropriately with anger (see Numbers 20:1-13)). Nevertheless, for Moses to admit that Gd said no, when so often his prayers ended up with Gd heeding the request, is itself a valuable lesson along the lines of .

There is no perfect person. We are all imperfect in some way. The imperfections, the failures are not excuses to not try, or try and try again. Yes, there are times when we must exit the one path and walk along another. But even this is not a failure, it is a transition to the next opportunity, to a new goal, A New Beginning.

May we each learn how to aim for the center, hit the target or miss the target, aim again or aim differently to hit the next target.

Looking for the tools to aim for the bullseye of your life: Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.