Tag: mistakes

Don’t be afraid to Start Over

Yesterday, I came across this motivational quote on LinkedIn (here). It was a beautiful reminder of the opportunity we have each day to have a “do-over.”

Today, I find myself focused on these words again as I consider the notion of mistakes. We all make them (except for certain people who shall remain unnamed 😉) and if you are like me, you have a multiplicity of negative feelings that can overwhelm you. How many of us relate to this vicious cycle. We mess something up, feel guilty about it and then start to avoid or justify our errors instead of confronting them. Often this avoidance, guilt, etc. comes from feeling shame (for a perspective on the challenges of shame, see here). Deep down, we wish for it to magically disappear, like being able to have a do-over in a video game. And while it can never just disappear, the mistake, the lost opportunity, doesn’t need to remain what defines us.

In order to find this do-over, we need to overcome different fears including:

  1. fear of embarrasment.
  2. fear of being uncomfortable
  3. fear of the unknown
  4. fear of failure in starting over (see here for another post on fear of success)

This is no easy task. Yet, I believe we innately do this all the time. Each day brings a series of unknowns, even in the familiar. We could either shrink away from what the day’s schedule could bring, because plans always change, or we could embrace the myriad possibilities potentially before us. If we embrace the unknown, if we accept that we are imperfect and can practice self-forgiveness, we will then others embrace forgiveness as well, recognizing mistakes happen and we can try again. And if we are ready to start over, we will find new opportunities even in the seemingly monotonous, routine.

As it relates to spiritual practice, for example, how often do we find ourselves recognizing how distracted we become in moments of hoped for focus. As a personal example, which I’m sure I’m not alone in, is how often my mind wanders during prayer. All of a sudden, I find myself saying certain words, wondering how I got to that part of the service. I could just give up and say, oh well, I missed out so why bother refocusing. Or, as I try to do, I restart my efforts to find focus, often with some momentary success. The point is, we have opportunity to shift midstream and continue forward in an improved manner, even if we missed out up until this point.

If you are searching for that new opportunity, new beginning, I hope you find ways to overcome your fears to find the opening to a road ahead full of possibilities.

If you are looking to overcome the fear of setting out on a new journey in life. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

99 – imperfection and greatness

Today is my 99th post on this website. Usually, people celebrate the whole numbers, so I am one off from a celebratory moment of writing post 100. Yet, I find the number 99 to be highly significant for a story I will share a little later on. But first…

Last night, I was playing around on Twitter and came across this tweet from a friend:

Aaron Judge, probably the most recognizable #99 in today’s sports fandom, is having a season for the ages. And while I am a Mets fan, with his own #99 –

it is clear that Judge is the better #99. Granted, for me, #99 takes me back to the great one Wayne Gretzky (NHL) and to the eccentrics like Wild Thing Mitch Williams and the infamous Turk Wendell (MLB – if you know, you know), but right now, for Baseball fans, 99 is Aaron Judge, and all the others tend to be glossed over (for a full list of all those in MLB who wore 99, see here).

This got me thinking about the significance of 99, only to recall another 99, but not in terms of sports. I was reminded of a teachable moment from when I was in High School, which I go back to every so often. It was 11th grade Chumash. We had just gotten a test back from our teacher and I noticed that while I got every question correct, I only received a 99 (yes, I admit, I was one of those students, always looking for the extra point). This bothered me as clearly I had earned the 100, the arbitrary perfect score we generally place on tests. I went to the rabbi and asked him why I didn’t get 100 when I clearly got all of the questions correct. To this day, I recall his response:

“Even Moses didn’t know everything, so in my opinion it would be impossible for anyone to achieve a 100.”

I’ll admit, the answer didn’t fully satisfy me. Yet, the lessons are quite apparent and in truth ones I have come to appreciate.

  1. As I wrote about months ago, there is a notion of When 80 Percent is Perfect. We should always strive for the best we can do and recognize that the best will never be 100 percent because the 100 is a long term impossibility. There will always be something that is missed, even when it appears as if you got everything right.
  2. We need to appreciate the beauty and greatness of the 99 within the scale of 100. Truth is, we need to appreciate even more than just the number closest to 100. We need to learn to appreciate all we have gained and not focus on the missing point(s).

Which brings me back to sports. Aaron Judge is having an outstanding season, a season for the ages, since we learn that in sports we focus on the accomplishments when it comes to most statistics as opposed to the failures that are the opposite side of the coin. For example, he has been on base over 40% of the time this year, which means he not been on base a little less than 60% of the time. In other words, his great year includes more failures than successes. Yet, we see the success and ignore the failures. He is having a 99 season (which for sports video game people, is the highest rank a player can get for a season).

If you have made it this far, thank you for reading this 99th post. Writing is a series of failures, deletions and edits until something comes together that is hopefully coherent and interesting. Life is the same. We fail, change course, shift, all in the drive to forge a path for ourselves. We experience many endings and New Beginnings. May each of you find the success within the imperfection and remember the greatness that is a 99.

Reflecting on how to appreciate the steps along the way: Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.