Tag: I am

Self-reflection/looking in the mirror

A couple of my more recent posts have explored the topic of identifying the various components of self identity. In this post, I am…, I included the beginnings of a list of different terms as to who I see myself as and as a paradigm for your personal growth. This practice, of listing the various “I ams” is a crucial component of growth. By looking in the mirror and engaging in the various elements of who we see, we can then explore the deeper characteristics that underlie each of those elements of our self-makeup.

Some of you reading this might question this method. After all, the work of claiming an “I” seemingly flies in the face of many spiritual practices. It is a common misconception that the goal of spiritual practice is an absolute self-nullification, a removal of all “I” elements of life. I would argue that this is a mistaken premise. Self-nullification, losing oneself in greater spiritual growth, is about the work of not allowing any of the identifying elements of the self to become sacred, to become the be all and end all.

Rather, what I am proposing is that the “I am” is a gateway to deep exploration and spiritual work as it relates to growth. This dawned on me in working with a couple of my clients, exploring the underlying meaning of the terms they were using to identify themselves. The exploration was to try to understand what were the drivers behind the particular term that the person used as a definition of self. When we are clear on who we are and what that means to us, we can then travel a road of who we wish to become within or without the term we are exploring.

For example, in my previous post, I identified myself as a “reader.” If I were to break this down further, I might begin by describing what I like to read or the types of books I find myself reading at the moment. I might explore what reading does for me. In fact, here is a rough outline of what saying I am a Reader is to me:

  1. explorer
  2. curious
  3. seeker of knowledge
  4. reading allows me times to escape from the challenges of life
  5. reading is a spiritual practice
  6. growth and change
  7. reading is a gateway to unexplored worlds
  8. reading is helpful in being a writer

I would then take this list and go deeper in this and related topics as it pertains to the goals the person I am working with would like to explore. For example, if I want to explore the notion of reading as a personal spiritual practice in relation to what it means when I define myself as a reader, I would work with the person to deepen their self-notion of what reading as a spiritual practice is. Is it the focus of reading? Is reading really about study and being absorbed in the depths of another’s words? Is it a form of connection to Gd (there is much in religious thought about connecting to the divine through the practice of study, of learning)? The goal of these explorations would be to help foster within the person the richness that comes from insights into the self so as to better foster the growth a person is looking for.

May each of us discover new aspects of ourselves as we consider the “I ams” we bring to the world.

Reflecting on your own path of self-discovery: Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.

I am…

Last week I wrote a personal reflection I Am A Writer, expressing how I see myself as the writer I am and want to be. It was a post about self-definition and about claiming one’s dreams as one’s current reality.

Today, I want to continue in the same vain, with a discussion of the more general statement “I am…” I was inspired by two things. First, while at a local business networking meeting, BNI, giving my 45 second ask, I realized that I was struggling to specify my ideal client. In the course of this challenge, I came to the recognition that understanding the ideal client would also require me to further understand who I am, who do I bring to a session when I am meeting with someone. Second, I had the fortune of connecting with a fellow rabbi/Spiritual coach to discuss how we serve others and how we can continue to grow our respective clientele. During this meeting, he reminded me about the importance of claiming who I am as part of growth for both myself and my business.

Before I answer this question, I want to explore this phrase “I am…” There is a classic situation in which someone asks us to tell them who you are and the initial answer we often give begins with our profession. And while this is one aspect of “I am…,” it is not the core of who we are. Yet, we are that professional as much as we are a parent, child, spouse, individual, a member of a community, faith tradition, etc. At different times we are one or many of these “I am…” descriptions. Further, the definition of “I am…” will inevitably change depending on our life circumstances.

To answer the question of who “I am…” is a moving target, yet it is a composite of all of the various definitions we experience of ourselves in life as it relates to both ourselves and to others. And finally, I think “I am…” can and should also include some of our in process goals and dreams as it can be a means of claiming elements of ourselves that might be incomplete/works in progress. As such, let me share some of my “I am…” statements and invite you to consider the same exercise for yourselves.

I am…

A husband, father, son, grandson, brother (and brother in law), uncle, nephew, cousin.

A Rabbi, chaplain, spiritual coach, teacher, writer, reader, learner.

A friend, colleague, mentor, disciple, student.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg of parts of who I am and helps me recognize how best to work and to serve others. All of these elements both enter a space with me and remain outside the sacred encounter with a client. When we have a deeper sense of self, the good, bad and ugly, we can better sit in the space of the uncomfortable with another.

As such, the answer to my ideal client is… You! You who are searching or engaging the same work of “I am…” You who are trying to foster a New Beginning. You who have experienced loss, death, new challenges and are trying to redefine the “I am…” that is who you are.

Reflecting on your own path of self-discovery: Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.