Tag: coaching

I’m here – Hineni

“I am here.”

I have always been taken by this simple word/phrase. It is one of deepest and most powerful of all calls to action. Are we willing to truly acknowledge our presence in a crucial moment?

Below you will find an anecdote which I often turn back to about the power of being present.

It is told of one of my teachers, the late Milton H. Erickson, who was perhaps the greatest therapist of our era, that a patient, having heard of his healing prowess, traveled halfway around the world to see him. Entering Milton’s somewhat shabby office, he was shocked as he took in its well-worn furniture, overused chairs, and ramshackle bookshelves – rather humble surroundings for such a great man. Erickson noticed him looking around in disbelieve, fixed his intense gaze upon him, and said, “I know it’s not much, but I’M HERE!”

I’M HERE! We can have no better motto. Each of us is more than enough. Each of us is all we’ve got. Each of us and all of us are blessed. We need to know and be assured that our blessedness is not in the doing; it is in the being. We are blessed through no choice of our own. Our being blessed is God’s irrevocable gift. So when the going gets tough, and assuredly it will, each of us can do no better than to respond, “Hineni, I’m Here,” words that have reverberated down the ages. Each of us is more than enough. Each of us is a blessing.

Jewish Relational Care A-Z: We are Our Brother’s Keeper – P.219

I believe this message is one that resonates for all of us. Can we be comfortable in the uncomfortable situations knowing that our showing up is more than enough? Can we accept that sometimes the best thing to do is sit in silence when another is in pain, not worrying about fixing, but just being available to the person? Can we do this for ourselves as well, being compassionate and non-judgmental when we ourselves are struggling?

Part of what drives me in my work as a chaplain and now a spiritual life coach is this presence, this being. How many of us are just looking for someone who can sit and reflect with us during times of transition, times of difficulty, times of grief. I find it powerful in the moments of sitting with someone, just sitting. Yes, to coach and to chaplain requires more than sitting. Yet it requires the ability to know when sitting and being is the best approach.

I’m Here. If you or someone you know is in journeying along the waves of life, allow me to join you along the road to discovery. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

The world is renewed for us

I previously described the Jewish practice that upon awakening, we start our day with words of gratitude for being alive another day, Modeh Ani.

With these words we offer words of recognition for the renewed opportunities we have as we start the day. Each day allows us to press refresh, and as I highlighted in my previous post, if we can overcome the fear of pressing refresh, we can truly take a first step. Today, I want to suggest that are acknowledgment of gratitude each day is part of taking this first step.

I came across a deeper, more mystical approach to this declaration of gratitude. Maharal, Rabbi Judah Loew of Prague, who lived in the 16th and early 17th centuries, suggested that the gratitude we are expressing is more than just about the return of our soul, our life, for another day. It also represents our expressing gratitude for the world being renewed again for another day. In other words, when we go to sleep, from a natural perspective the world continues to exist. Yet, if we take the perspective of ourselves asleep, the world ceases to be. When we wake up, the world comes back into focus, coming back into existence like we do.

I found this deeper level of renewal inspirational. If it is not just us, but the world starting over in our eyes when we start the day, when we wake up from sleep, it means we do not need to live our lives enslaved to what was. Of course, we don’t find ourselves waking up in a different bed, in a different place, but we do have the chance to make the world what we want to each day. By deliberately acknowledging and expressing this gratitude for the opportunity for the new, we always have the chance to take that first step to something new.

May we find each day as an opportunity to reinvest in the opportunities for renewal we have in front of us.

You have the opportunity to start again. If you are struggling to begin the process of starting your next journey in life. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Living and Growing from a place of not knowing

Too often we fashion ourselves as experts in things we are quite unfamiliar with. This is a mechanism to protect the more vulnerable parts of our personality because we are afraid our not knowing is a sign of lacking when in reality no one knows everything. We feel scared when we are thrust into something we feel unprepared for and sometimes to protect ourselves we act like we know.

Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski, in Growing Each Day, expounded on the following Talmudic passage from Berachot 4a:

דְּאָמַר מָר: לַמֵּד לְשׁוֹנְךָ לוֹמַר ״אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ״, שֶׁמָּא תִּתְבַּדֶּה וְתֵאָחֵז.

articulated by the Master: Accustom your tongue to say: I do not know, lest you become entangled in a web of deceit.

Rabbi Dr. Twerski suggested:

“While no human being can know everything, some people cannot admit any ignorance about anything. For them, any admission of lack of knowledge threatens their fragile egos… Furthermore, the only way we can acquire knowledge is by accepting that we do not have it. People who claim to know everything cannot learn. Therefore, many opportunities to learn pass them by, and their denying their ignorance actually increases their ignorance… (p.216)”

Saying I don’t know is not strictly an admission of not knowing. Rather it is an opening and invitation to explore. It is through this exploration that we can know, and remove the desire to “fool” ourselves or others. Unfortunately, it is common that our fears of being “seen” actually further hinder our growth and ability to make forward strides. It is that fear that keeps us stagnant and yet leaves us feeling antsy, anxious, unsettled. We are unsettled because we close ourselves off from the value of listening to others and truly listening to ourselves.

One of the core elements of my chaplaincy and now my coaching is to foster the dual listening in the space of care. By my listening to others and hopefully the individuals listening to the words they are saying, it allows us to cultivate the gaining of knowledge through exploration, questions and reflections. Together we open the gates to find new vistas to confront challenging and difficult situations.

May we be blessed to be comfortable in the uncomfortable space of not knowing.

If you are looking to explore and discover new approaches to the difficulties in your life, Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com.