belief – New beginnings: A blog about spirituality, chaplaincy and renewal

Believing in Oneself is a form of Humility

Most of us are familiar with some version of the following story (found here):

So there is a joke you probably know on the topic of humility. The chief rabbi of the synagogue at Yom Kippur is beating his breast and crying, tears running down his cheeks “I’m nothing, Lord! I’m nothing! I’m absolutely nothing!” Next to him the chief donor to the synagogue, a wealthy banker kneels down and hits himself on the chest and yells “I’m nothing! God forgive me for thinking I’m something. I’m not. I’m nothing!” Whereupon Shlomo a poor man who sweeps the synagogue out after services and hauls trash gets down on his knees and yells “I’m nothing! I’m nothing.” The rabbi observes this, elbows the banker and whispers “Look who thinks he’s nothing.”

We tend to confuse humility, the idea that we lack pride and the idea of having an attitude that even if we are skilled and knowledgeable, it doesn’t make us inherently better than anyone else, with feelings of low self-worth and self esteem. In most spiritual practices this distinction is crucial because it can help frame a fundamental spiritual practice of self-nullification. Self-nullification is about recognizing that within the greater universe, we are practically nil. In many religions, this is described in relation to the divine, that from a divine perspective, the only real existence is the divine (see here for one example of a Jewish perspective of the definition and purpose of self-nullification).

Yet, in conjunction with this important practice, our spiritual growth can only truly become manifest if we balance this self-nullification with knowing that our lives have purpose and meaning. I have been thinking about this in relation to a piece I read last weekend from R. Elimelech Biderman in Torah Wellsprings (Parashat Beshalach – see the full piece here pgs.4-5).

To quote a few excerpts from the piece:

Reb Tzadok HaKohen (Tzidkas HaTzaddik 154) writes: “Just as one must believe in Hashem (Gd), one must also believe in himself. This means to believe that Hashem is interested in him. He must believe that his soul comes from Above, and Hashem has pleasure from him and has enjoyment when he does Hashem’s will. This is the meaning of the pasuk (verse) (Shmos ויאמינו בה’ ובמשה עבדו (14:31, ‘And they believed in Hashem and in Moshe…’ Moshe represents the six-hundred-thousand Yidden (Jews) of that generation. They believed that Hashem desires them and derives pleasure from them and from the good that’s in them.”

It is hard for people to believe that Hashem wants them because they know their faults. However, faults and errors are part of the creation of the world. This shouldn’t prevent us from believing that Hashem wants us…

From the very essence of creation, a pattern of imperfection emerged.

Yet after all of that, it states (Bereishis 1:31) וירא אלקים את כל אשר עשה והנה טוב מאוד, ”And Hashem saw all that He had made, and behold it was very good.”

This is what Hashem calls good. It is because of imperfections that Hashem created the world. Hashem has pleasure when we overcome the struggles, downfalls, blockades, and hardships and do His will. So, you can believe in yourself, even if you are imperfect. In fact, your imperfections are the purpose of the entire creation. This trait enables you to bring a nachas ruach (inner sense of wellbeing) to Hashem more than all the malachim (angels) in heaven…

Our approach in life is two fold. We must be humble in recognizing our finite nature, our inherent imperfections and our existence in relation to Gd. At the same time, we cannot see ourselves as so low and unworthy that we never strive for anything, we never strive to grow and improve and lessen the imperfections we have in life. When we have a healthy sense of self-compassion and self-worth, we are able to do the things that help us move along our paths to fulfill our goals, our purpose for being.

This is a challenging practice to work on. It can feel extremely difficult to maintain the balance between humility and self-worth. Yet, we must always be working to find the balance, the right mix, so that we are moving forward step by step, moment by moment. We have the opportunity each day to practice through prayer, through our relationships with others and through our work towards attaining our personal goals.

May we each work to foster our own balance between believing in ourselves and the humility to recognize each of us is another part of our interdependent existence.

If you or someone you know is looking to forge ahead and set new goals for the journey of life or trying to find a sense of meaning in life, we are here to help foster spiritual and emotional growth and change. Schedule your appointment today here. For more information, please contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Rebbe Nachman’s Advice # 21 – Maintaining Simple Faith

As we have seen in many of my previous posts reflecting on Rebbe Nachman’s words, his approach is one of “simplicity” which is often misunderstood for lacking depth. Rather, it is an approach to faith that tries to remove all aspects of intellectualism as it pertains to harming our sense of belief. Most of us, this author included, struggle to balance the desire to investigate and reflect deeply while also maintaining a child-like innocence in how we see faith and belief. This includes the consumption of deep, intellectually stimulating works. As we see in the below piece, Rebbe Nachman clearly states that delving into philosophy is “destructive.”

מז. וְצָרִיךְ לִזָּהֵר מְאֹד שֶׁלֹּא לְהַבִּיט כְּלָל בַּסְּפָרִים הַמְדַבְּרִים מֵחֲקִירוֹת, כִּי הֵם מַזִּיקִים וּפוֹגְמִין מְאֹד אֶת הָאֱמוּנָה הַקְּדוֹשָׁה. וּכְבָר מְבֹאָר זֶה בְּכַמָּה מְקוֹמוֹת, אַךְ צָרִיךְ לִכְפֹּל כַּמָּה פְּעָמִים אַזְהָרָה זֹאת לְבַל יֹאבַד עוֹלָמוֹ כְּרֶגַע חַ”ו: (שם)

One has to greatly distance oneself even from the philosophical works. Such works are very damaging to faith. Now, it has already been explained in various places [in our teachings], yet it is necessary to repeat this again and again, to save oneself from destruction, God forbid (Ibid.).

I believe that Rebbe Nachman is categorizing philosophical works as those which are written to undermine faith, not works which offer a deeper and richer read of the beauty of Gd’s world. Further, if we take a statement like this in the context of the times he is living, there is clearly an Anti-Enlightenment polemic. And finally, we see that for Rebbe Nachman, there was a struggle. For those who have studied his Likkutei Moharan, you see a deeply thoughtful person who offers a depth to spirituality. It is not exactly a book of “simplicity.” I would even suggest that Likkutei Etzot, the book we are drawing these lessons from, was an approach to simplifying the message. Yet, there was a strong storytelling tradition, in which he taught deep ideas through the tales he crafted. His theory was that the story carried the simplicity and sophistication he wanted simultaneously.

For my purposes though, I think there is something more fundamental we can learn from this passage. We are by nature curious. Curiosity is valuable. And knowledge is important. Yet, in order to live a life of faith, there are times when we need to shift away from the intellectual exercises and the overthinking and just be. It is at this juncture that our actions, speech (prayers) and thoughts go from something in the mind to something coming from the depths of our humanity.

Yes, be a reader. Be a thinker. And be a person who continuously cultivates one’s faith in a way that it is not fractured, that it is as close to whole as possible. This is not easy. It is fraught with many potential pitfalls. And one need not go it alone. Find others who are on the same path and strength one another in this approach.

Are you struggling with your spiritual growth? Faith? Feeling lost in the midst of the journey of life? Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Rebbe Nachman’s Advice # 20 – Verbalizing Our Desire to be Believing People

It is not simple to be faithful, believing people. The world is complicated. We constantly read about the negative things going on in the world. And even when we read something uplifting and positive, it is easy to fall back into the skeptical, when is the other shoe going to drop mode. We wish we could see things positively but it is quite difficult. Even with all the tools at our disposal, the self-help tips, etc. we still don’t have a single solution other than constant vigilance. Interestingly, Rebbe Nachman offers an approach to strengthening/reinforcing our sense of faith that is simple and profound. He suggests:

מה. הָאֱמוּנָה תּוֹלָה בַּפֶּה שֶׁל הָאָדָם, שֶׁצְּרִיכִין לְדַבֵּר הָאֱמוּנָה בַּפֶּה, כְּמוֹ שֶׁכָּתוּב: “אוֹדִיעַ אֱמוּנָתְךָ בְּפִי”. וְעַל־כֵּן כְּשֶׁאָדָם נוֹפֵל מֵאֱמוּנָה חַ”ו, עֵצָה לָזֶה – שֶׁיְּדַבֵּר הָאֱמוּנָה בְּפִיו, שֶׁיֹּאמַר בְּפֶה מָלֵא שֶׁהוּא מַאֲמִין וְכוּ’. כִּי זֶה בְּעַצְמוֹ שֶׁמְּדַבֵּר בְּפִיו דִּבּוּרֵי אֱמוּנָה, זֶה בְּעַצְמוֹ הוּא בְּחִינַת אֱמוּנָה. גַּם עַל־יְדֵי זֶה זוֹכֶה לָבוֹא לֶאֱמוּנָה שְׁלֵמָה, כִּי הָאֱמוּנָה תּוֹלָה בַּפֶּה שֶׁל אָדָם כַּנַּ”ל: (לק”ת סי’ מד)

Faith depends on a person’s mouth. We must say we believe — say it out loud! As it is written in the Psalms (89:1) “I will make known Your faithfulness with my mouth.” When a person has a crisis of faith, or even passing doubts, it is very good if he says out loud: “I believe.” Just expressing your faith in words is itself one kind of faith. Through doing this you can come to genuine faith (44).

Very simply, if you want it, verbalize it. Of course, if things were only this simple most of us would not be in this struggle. As such, what is underlying this suggestion?

When we verbalize our thoughts, first and foremost we are narrowing our focus through the words we choose to use. Thoughts can get jumbled and go all over the place. Speaking forces us to hear aloud the thoughts and begin to grapple with them. When it comes to faith and doubt, our mind goes through multileveled analysis, oscillating between faith and skepticism. While it is true we can say “I believe” and not really believe, once we speak those words, we begin to find it a bit harder to maintain the skepticism. Most of the time, our ideal self prefers not to be seen as a lier, even if one is alone.

To me, this verbalization is the concretization of our thoughts and feelings. When we declare to ourselves, I do believe, we are claiming that faithful side for ourselves. Does it get rid of the skepticism? No! But it does begin to guide us towards having genuine faith for it opens the door for us.

If perhaps you are struggling with your faith and desire to strengthen this part of yourself, I would suggest this as another tool to bring to the table along your journey along a path of faith and belief.

Rebbe Nachman’s Advice # 16 – Working towards Seeing is Believing

This week’s Torah portion, Ki Tissa, brings us to the story of Israel’s almost cataclysmic choice, the fashioning and worshipping of the Golden Calf, the Egel HaZahav. While there is a debate about whether the idol was to replace Gd or Moses or perhaps even both, there is an interesting, underlying spiritual question regarding the story. There is a famous statement, Seeing is Believing, yet how often is this statement proven false. In the story of the worshipping of the Golden Calf, this idea is proven false, for the Israelites had experienced Gd’s miracles and heard Gd’s “voice” and yet a short time later they fall into this ultimate of violations of faith.

If seeing is believing is not an absolute reality, how come this is a go to statement for so many. Sure, we often use it sarcastically, but within the sarcasm must be a modicum of believing it to be true. Perhaps, we can suggest an approach from Rebbe Nachman. I present two quotes from Likkutei Etzot about making our faith so strong that it is as if we are really seeing it (and See here (Rebbe Nachman’s advice # 10) for a parallel text and my thoughts):

עִקַּר שְׁלֵמוּת הָאֱמוּנָה הוּא, שֶׁיִּתְחַזֵּק בֶּאֱמוּנָה חֲזָקָה כָּל כָּךְ עַד שֶׁתִּהְיֶה בְרוּרָה וְזַכָּה מְאֹד, עַד שֶׁיִּהְיֶה דּוֹמֶה בְּעֵינָיו כְּאִלּוּ רוֹאֶה בְּעֵינָיו מַמָּשׁ הַדָּבָר שֶׁמַּאֲמִין בּוֹ, וְכַמְבֹאָר לְעֵיל (בְּאוֹת ל”ב [צ”ל אוֹת כ”ח]): (לק”א סי’ רל”ד)

Faith must be a complete and very clear faith, such that because of his faith it seems to him as if his eyes see the very thing he believes in
Likkutei Etzot Truth and Faith # 36

כְּשֶׁאָדָם חָזָק בֶּאֱמוּנָה מְאֹד, זוֹכֶה אַחַר כָּךְ לָבוֹא אֶל הַשֵּׂכֶל, וְכָל מַה שֶׁמַּחְזִיק אֶת עַצְמוֹ בֶּאֱמוּנָה יוֹתֵר, בָּא אֶל שֵׂכֶל יוֹתֵר. כִּי הַדָּבָר שֶׁהָיָה צָרִיךְ מִתְּחִלָּה לְהַאֲמִין מֵחֲמַת שֶׁלֹּא הֵבִין הַדָּבָר, זוֹכֶה אַחַר כָּךְ לַהֲבִינוֹ בְּשֵׂכֶל עַל־יְדֵי אֱמוּנָתוֹ הַחֲזָקָה. אַךְ אַחַר כָּךְ יֵשׁ לוֹ דְּבָרִים גְּבוֹהִים יוֹתֵר, שֶׁהֵם נִסְתָּרִים מִמֶּנּוּ וְאֵינוֹ יָכוֹל לַהֲבִינָם בְּשֵׂכֶל, וַאֲזַי צָרִיךְ לְהִתְחַזֵּק אֶת עַצְמוֹ יוֹתֵר בֶּאֱמוּנָה, לְהַאֲמִין בְּמַה שֶּׁנִּסְתָּר מִמֶּנּוּ עַתָּה וְאֵינוֹ מֵבִין בְּשֵׂכֶל, עַד שֶׁיִּזְכֶּה לְהָבִין גַּם אֵלּוּ הַדְּבָרִים בְּשֵׂכֶל, וְכֵן לְעוֹלָם. אֲבָל לָזֶה צָרִיךְ לִהְיוֹת הָאֱמוּנָה חֲזָקָה מְאֹד מְאֹד עַד שֶׁתִּתְפַּשֵּׁט הָאֱמוּנָה בְּכָל הָאֵיבָרִים, וְאָז יוּכַל לִזְכּוֹת לָבוֹא אֶל הַשֵּׂכֶל עַל־יְדֵי הָאֱמוּנָה כַּנַּ”ל: (לק”א סי’ צ”א)

If you are very strong in your faith you will eventually reach understanding of what you believe in. The stronger your faith the greater your understanding will be. At the outset you have no option but to have faith because you cannot understand the matter rationally. Through faith you will come to understand it. Except that then there will be new, more exalted levels which are still hidden from you and beyond your ability to understand rationally. Here again you will have to make the effort to believe. You must always have faith in the levels that are hidden from you. In the end you will understand them also. And so the process goes on. The main thing is that your faith must be so strong that it spreads to all your limbs. This faith will bring you to true wisdom (91).
Likkutei Etzot Truth and Faith # 32

Rebbe Nachman is suggesting that our life goal should be the constant work around strengthening our faith. We cannot just go through life and presume we will have the belief and fortitude to overcome moments that challenge us. We have to prepare, we have to work on it. We have to study and reflect on what it means when we say we believe or we have faith in… Is it just words or is it part of our essence? And, from his words, it seems like even when it is something that is seemingly well established, we must continue to work on it.

I can imagine that for the Israelites, it is this latter point which was a problem. They were witness to things that are improbable/impossible. They experienced miracles that the world has never seen. And yet, that wasn’t enough because the experiences needed constant reinforcement. Sure, one could argue that the Torah’s story presumes that they saw regular “miracles” like the manna and the protective clouds around the encampment. Nevertheless, regular “miracles” lose potency over time; they become routine. Once they become routine, the inspiration dissipates.

When life becomes routine, we lose the inspiration to grow. When we purposefully work on seeing and experiencing the simple inspirations in life, we can maintain and grow in our sense of awe at the wonders of the world. Faith is a constant goal. And if we constantly strive, perhaps we really will have seeing is believing moments. May we merit to have times when we are open to truly seeing the beauty of our path, our journey.

Rebbe Nachman’s Advice # 10 – Personal faith and the conflict of religion vs/ spirituality

In the modern world, the practice of a religion and the journey for increased spirituality are often at odds. Many times it is because we create false dichotomies between the two as a means of explaining away the ways of people. It is an example of how I often will say don’t a religion by the people who practice it. Religion can and should be a pathway for spiritual growth and hopefully spiritual growth will come along to help show people the beauty of time-honored ritual. Yes, our modern world doesn’t always jive with ancient ritual and yet so often we see the reintroduction of these ancient rituals as finding a “new” method for better self-care and help. My favorite of these which I often quote is when we read about the importance of a Sabbath, as if its a new notion of setting aside a day a week for “rest.”

All of the above relates to this idea of Rebbe Nachman on faith. For Rebbe Nachman, and in reality for anyone actively pursuing the spiritual, our growth and journey is built on faith, the trust of the unknown. As Rebbe Nachman posits:

כח. אֱמוּנָה אֵין שַׁיָּךְ אֶלָּא בְּדָבָר שֶׁאֵינוֹ יוֹדֵעַ טַעַם. וְאַף עַל פִּי כֵן אֵצֶל הַמַּאֲמִין הַדָּבָר גָּלוּי, כְּאִלּוּ רוֹאֶה בְּעֵינָיו אֶת הַדָּבָר שֶׁמַּאֲמִין בּוֹ מֵחֲמַת גֹּדֶל אֱמוּנָתוֹ הַשְּׁלֵמָה: (לק”א סי’ ס”ב אות ה’)

We only speak of faith when the one who believes does not know why he believes. But even so, for the believer himself the thing he believes in is perfectly clear and obvious to him — as if he saw it with his own eyes. This is because his faith is so strong (62:5).

Notice the two points in the above lines. First, is the admission of faith being something we cannot “know.” It is something non-intellectual. This doesn’t mean our faith is purely an emotional state. Rather, it is a reflection on how we cannot presume faith as intellectual, as sitting in the mind. At the same time, we also learn from this passage that our faith must be as it is “known.” Our mission is to build our internal faith into something unknown but known. It needs to remain faith, but be so clear as to be as if we know.

As it relates to the struggle of bridging religion and spirituality, too often the challenge is that religion is that which is more of a communal nature while spirituality has a stronger individualistic bent. The bridge is faith. Faith can be cultivated by the rituals and practices we take on as individuals and as a community. At the same time, faith is something that is purely individualistic, for only we can see our beliefs. The spirituality aspect is supporting the individuality that we can imbue the communal ritual with.

Today, may we continue to work to cultivate and enhance our personal faith/spirituality while also finding the ways to bring that spirituality into our communal, religiously inspired rituals.

Rebbe Nachman’s Advice # 5 – Growing our Faith beyond the intellect

As we continue to explore some key points of faith as per Rebbe Nachman, this short piece is fundamental to his thought as well as a good reflection on the ideal engagement with faith.

יד. אֲפִלּוּ מִי שֶׁזּוֹכֶה לְהַמְשִׁיךְ אֵיזֶה שֵׂכֶל דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, צָרִיךְ לְהַמְשִׁיךְ אֱמוּנָה לְתוֹךְ הַשֵּׂכֶל, כִּי אֵין לִסְמֹךְ עַל הַשֵּׂכֶל בְּעַצְמוֹ: (לק”א סי’ כ”ד אות ו’)

Even a person who attains a certain level of religious insight and understanding must take good care to ensure that the perception he has is suffused with faith. Intellect alone is not something to rely upon (24:6).

For faith to have an impact on our lives, it cannot just reside in our minds. Faith needs to find its place in our heart, in the depth of who we are. How many of us struggle with faith not because we don’t have it but because we work too hard to try to understand the world. We are educated to think, debate, hypothesize, experiment and sometimes we forget the simple beauty of just seeing what is right there in front of us. Rebbe Nachman warns that the more we learn, the more we think we know, the more we must also work to strengthen the tie to the emotional feeling that is faith. I believe it is from that feeling that is faith we draw on the strength to withstand traumas and crises.

But this is no easy task. It is hard work to get to this place. How do we do that without intellectualizing our faith? Perhaps this is the power and beauty that we can find in prayer. Through prayer, we approach the world from a place of recognizing lack and looking to Gd to show us how to fill up what is missing. Prayer as a regular practice goes beyond knowledge. While it is important to have a deep understanding of the words we are saying, the deeper investment of energy in tefillah, prayer, is in allowing each time we pray to be a new experience, leaving the intellectual to the side and approaching it from the emotional.

May each of us find and cultivate our individual reservoir of faith as we also work to learn and increase our knowledge and understanding of the world.