Category: Torah thoughts

Ascending and Descending Messengers

When life thrusts uncertainties at us, we often grasp for a sense of being connected to someone or something. We search for ways to recreate the sense of safety and certainty, either consciously or not. This idea of looking for refocusing on how faith and belief might be a place of safety is exemplified in one of the famous biblical stories, Jacob’s dream in which he envisions a “Stairway to Heaven.”

After running away from Isaac and Rebecca’s home as a means of self preservation because his twin brother Esau planned to take revenge over the stolen birthright, the Torah finds Jacob having stopped overnight to sleep. On this night, Jacob dreams of a ladder going from the land to heaven. The Torah states:

וַֽיַּחֲלֹ֗ם וְהִנֵּ֤ה סֻלָּם֙ מֻצָּ֣ב אַ֔רְצָה וְרֹאשׁ֖וֹ מַגִּ֣יעַ הַשָּׁמָ֑יְמָה וְהִנֵּה֙ מַלְאֲכֵ֣י אֱלֹהִ֔ים עֹלִ֥ים וְיֹרְדִ֖ים בּֽוֹ׃

He had a dream; a ladder was set on the ground and its top reached to the sky, and angels of God were going up and down on it.

וְהִנֵּ֨ה יְהֹוָ֜ה נִצָּ֣ב עָלָיו֮ וַיֹּאמַר֒ אֲנִ֣י יְהֹוָ֗ה אֱלֹהֵי֙ אַבְרָהָ֣ם אָבִ֔יךָ וֵאלֹהֵ֖י יִצְחָ֑ק הָאָ֗רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֤ר אַתָּה֙ שֹׁכֵ֣ב עָלֶ֔יהָ לְךָ֥ אֶתְּנֶ֖נָּה וּלְזַרְעֶֽךָ׃

And the LORD was standing beside him and He said, “I am the LORD, the God of your father Abraham and the God of Isaac: the ground on which you are lying I will assign to you and to your offspring.

וְהָיָ֤ה זַרְעֲךָ֙ כַּעֲפַ֣ר הָאָ֔רֶץ וּפָרַצְתָּ֛ יָ֥מָּה וָקֵ֖דְמָה וְצָפֹ֣נָה וָנֶ֑גְבָּה וְנִבְרְכ֥וּ בְךָ֛ כל־מִשְׁפְּחֹ֥ת הָאֲדָמָ֖ה וּבְזַרְעֶֽךָ׃

Your descendants shall be as the dust of the earth; you shall spread out to the west and to the east, to the north and to the south. All the families of the earth shall bless themselves by you and your descendants.

וְהִנֵּ֨ה אָנֹכִ֜י עִמָּ֗ךְ וּשְׁמַרְתִּ֙יךָ֙ בְּכֹ֣ל אֲשֶׁר־תֵּלֵ֔ךְ וַהֲשִׁ֣בֹתִ֔יךָ אֶל־הָאֲדָמָ֖ה הַזֹּ֑את כִּ֚י לֹ֣א אֶֽעֱזָבְךָ֔ עַ֚ד אֲשֶׁ֣ר אִם־עָשִׂ֔יתִי אֵ֥ת אֲשֶׁר־דִּבַּ֖רְתִּי לָֽךְ׃

Remember, I am with you: I will protect you wherever you go and will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”

Genesis 28:12-16

Jacob dreams/receives a prophetic message that Gd will be with him and protect him throughout his journey until such time as he returns to the land of Canaan. For Jacob, this reassurance is key to his ability to withstand the trials and tribulations he will come to face during his sojourn. Yet, Jacob maintains uncertain, for a few verses later, as Jacob takes leave of this seemingly holy place, the Torah states:

וַיִּדַּ֥ר יַעֲקֹ֖ב נֶ֣דֶר לֵאמֹ֑ר אִם־יִהְיֶ֨ה אֱלֹהִ֜ים עִמָּדִ֗י וּשְׁמָרַ֙נִי֙ בַּדֶּ֤רֶךְ הַזֶּה֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר אָנֹכִ֣י הוֹלֵ֔ךְ וְנָֽתַן־לִ֥י לֶ֛חֶם לֶאֱכֹ֖ל וּבֶ֥גֶד לִלְבֹּֽשׁ׃

Jacob then made a vow, saying, “If God remains with me, if He protects me on this journey that I am making, and gives me bread to eat and clothing to wear,

וְשַׁבְתִּ֥י בְשָׁל֖וֹם אֶל־בֵּ֣ית אָבִ֑י וְהָיָ֧ה יְהֹוָ֛ה לִ֖י לֵאלֹהִֽים׃

and if I return safe to my father’s house—the LORD shall be my God.

וְהָאֶ֣בֶן הַזֹּ֗את אֲשֶׁר־שַׂ֙מְתִּי֙ מַצֵּבָ֔ה יִהְיֶ֖ה בֵּ֣ית אֱלֹהִ֑ים וְכֹל֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר תִּתֶּן־לִ֔י עַשֵּׂ֖ר אֲעַשְּׂרֶ֥נּוּ לָֽךְ׃

And this stone, which I have set up as a pillar, shall be God’s abode; and of all that You give me, I will set aside a tithe for You.”

Genesis 28:20-22

This latter scene suggests that Jacob was not one hundred percent convinced that Gd would fulfill his promise from the dream, so Jacobs offers the vow that he would provide a percentage of his hoped for accumulated wealth to Gd as a tribute for protection. Why would Jacob not believe wholeheartedly in Gd’s promise? I would suggest that Jacob’s uncertainty is not from a lack of faith but rather from an innate sense of abandonment that he feeling on this night. This is depicted in the first image of the dream, in which the “angels of Gd” ascend and then descend from the ladder. If we consider the image we would expect to see, the angels should have descending first and only then ascending. Yet, the verse flips the actions, leading to the following comment from Rashi:

עלים וירדים ASCENDING AND DESCENDING — It states first ascending and afterwards descending! Those angels who accompanied him in the land of Israel were not permitted to leave the Land: they ascended to Heaven and angels which were to minister outside the Land descended to accompany him (Genesis Rabbah 68:12).

As we know, dreams, even in the prophetic sense that is attributed to them throughout the Bible, contain many images that illustrate our unconscious or conscious concerns. For Jacob, the angels were his protectors, his internal sense of not being alone, which his subconscious highlighted in his vision. While Jacob does have a destination, his uncle’s home and a mission to marry his uncle’s daughter, he is presumably filled with feelings of abandonment and uncertainty about the future. As such, he dreams of angels first ascending, for deep down he knows he is never alone. Furthermore, the entire dream focuses on Gd being with him throughout his journey. The angels represent that Jacob can rest assured that he is not being abandoned at any point.

Regarding his vow after the dreams, the vow speaks to Jacob’s conscious sense of uncertainty. A dream is a dream and even one of a “prophetic” nature can leave someone with doubts. Jacob’s vow/covenant to Gd is a way for Jacob to accept that dream and change his mindset. No longer will he allow himself to be worried about the uncertainties that lie ahead. He knows he will be able to handle them because of Gd’s “promise” and his offer as a means of submission to this new perspective.

Jacob’s vision and response is a powerful example of the challenge we all face when starting on a new journey. Deep down we know there is risk any time we venture into something new. Doubts exist. Yet, if we allow the doubts to overtake us, we will never be able to take the first step. When we acknowledge the doubts and take control of them, recognizing the doubts are part of the journey, not the barrier, we will be able to move forward and find our new beginning.

May we find the ability to change our mindset as we work towards achieving our growth potential and our wishes.

Multigenerational Change?

Bible scholars throughout the generations recognized that the story of Isaac, (Genesis 25:19 – 28:9), is parallel in many ways to his father Abraham’s story (Genesis 12-25:18). There are some who suggest Isaac faces similar challenges as a means of rectifying and improving on the decisions of his father. Sometimes he succeeds and sometimes he fails. For an example of a lengthier, story by story analysis of this, see The Differences Between Avraham and Yitzchak by Rav Amnon Bazak.

In reflecting on the overall message of these parallel stories, I found myself reflecting on one of the challenges of change. In a previous post, Facing Yom Kippur Alone?, I reflected on how change is such a challenging undertaking that we incorporate all who have come before us to help guide and motivate our desire to change. This comes about by recognizing our imperfections.

As I have been reviewing the story of Isaac, I came to realize another element of change, the idea that many of our “desired” changes are driven by belief that we need to better the true and perceived mistakes of our parents/ancestors. While this is a noble effort, it can also be full of many pitfalls. When our only goal is to avoid making the same mistake, we are more likely to make that or a different mistake. For example, in the story of Isaac and family fleeing to the Philistine land due to a famine, Isaac, like his father, begins his sojourn in this land by claiming that his wife, Rebecca is his sister, not his wife. Abraham did this twice with Sarah, both in Egypt and in the land of the Philistines. Both times Abraham’s ruse was found out. Particularly striking is the reason Abraham gives to Avimelekh, king of the Philistines upon being found out:

וַיֹּ֙אמֶר֙ אַבְרָהָ֔ם כִּ֣י אָמַ֗רְתִּי רַ֚ק אֵין־יִרְאַ֣ת אֱלֹהִ֔ים בַּמָּק֖וֹם הַזֶּ֑ה וַהֲרָג֖וּנִי עַל־דְּבַ֥ר אִשְׁתִּֽי׃

“I thought,” said Abraham, “surely there is no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.

Genesis 20:11

Abraham expresses fear for his life. When Isaac finds himself in a similar situation a generation later, the Torah indicates Isaac’s reasoning and then shows how things worked out until Isaac was “caught:”

וַֽיִּשְׁאֲל֞וּ אַנְשֵׁ֤י הַמָּקוֹם֙ לְאִשְׁתּ֔וֹ וַיֹּ֖אמֶר אֲחֹ֣תִי הִ֑וא כִּ֤י יָרֵא֙ לֵאמֹ֣ר אִשְׁתִּ֔י פֶּן־יַֽהַרְגֻ֜נִי אַנְשֵׁ֤י הַמָּקוֹם֙ עַל־רִבְקָ֔ה כִּֽי־טוֹבַ֥ת מַרְאֶ֖ה הִֽוא׃

When the men of the place asked him about his wife, he said, “She is my sister,” for he was afraid to say “my wife,” thinking, “The men of the place might kill me on account of Rebekah, for she is beautiful.”

וַיְהִ֗י כִּ֣י אָֽרְכוּ־ל֥וֹ שָׁם֙ הַיָּמִ֔ים וַיַּשְׁקֵ֗ף אֲבִימֶ֙לֶךְ֙ מֶ֣לֶךְ פְּלִשְׁתִּ֔ים בְּעַ֖ד הַֽחַלּ֑וֹן וַיַּ֗רְא וְהִנֵּ֤ה יִצְחָק֙ מְצַחֵ֔ק אֵ֖ת רִבְקָ֥ה אִשְׁתּֽוֹ׃

When some time had passed, Abimelech king of the Philistines, looking out of the window, saw Isaac fondling his wife Rebekah.

Genesis 26:7-8

One can imagine the following scenario: Isaac heard about the times his parents fled due to famine and perhaps even the stories about Abraham trying to pass Sarah off as his sister, and why. As such, when Isaac is faced with a similar situation, he figures he needs to be careful as well, but also calculates that since he knows what happened before, he can put extra precautions in place to avoid anything going wrong. And it worked. It worked so well that time passed and he let his guard down, leading to the revelation of Isaac and Rebecca’s true relationship. Change can be the avoidance of the errors of the past but often as time passes, we too let our guard down and the change we have been striving to maintain falls away because we get complacent or frustrated. This can be a sign that the change was not due to a deep yearning to begin anew but a more surface level need for change for some outside reason.

When embarking on a new beginning, the examination of one’s motivations can be crucial to the process and the extent that the change will have a long lasting effect. We strive to learn the lessons of the past, the lessons of our own mistakes and the mistakes of parents, etc. We strive to correct and improve our lives by implementing the lessons learned in our actions. From the parallel stories of Abraham and Isaac, we can see how sometimes we will succeed in changing the narrative and sometimes we will also fall short. It is our mission to uncover the motivations behind our choices, to work to embed our desire for change in our heart to help increase the likelihood of continued successful steps forward. Change is a constant and each incremental step is a victory unto itself. Through the work of uncovering motivation, it is my hope that each of us will find the growth and change we truly wish for, building on the past and paving the road for the future.

“And Abraham eulogized and cried”

Genesis 23, the first chapter of this week’s Torah portion, focuses on the death and burial of Sarah. In describing Abraham’s response to Sarah’s death, the Torah states:

וַתָּ֣מת שָׂרָ֗ה בְּקִרְיַ֥ת אַרְבַּ֛ע הִ֥וא חֶבְר֖וֹן בְּאֶ֣רֶץ כְּנָ֑עַן וַיָּבֹא֙ אַבְרָהָ֔ם לִסְפֹּ֥ד לְשָׂרָ֖ה וְלִבְכֹּתָֽהּ׃

Sarah died in Kiriath-arba—now Hebron—in the land of Canaan; and Abraham proceeded to mourn (eulogize) for Sarah and to bewail (cry for) her.

Genesis 23:2

In considering the way most people experience the death of a loved one and the subsequent grief, the order of Abraham’s actions, eulogizing first and only then crying is the opposite of how we presume most respond to death. And in Abraham’s case, it is even more anomalous in that he only proceeds to funeral planning and burial after the eulogizing and crying. We picture or experience a person crying, planning and finally eulogizing and beginning the process of integrating the death into one’s life. While some elements of this description fit a certain order and process of death and funeral rituals of the ancient world, when we reflect on our current understandings of grief and loss, we can find a different way to understand the internal goings on of Abraham.

To illustrate this point, I am reminded of a story from one of the bereavement groups I ran. A member of the group came and shared how since her spouse passed away, which was about 8 months prior to her attending the group, she finds that she has been unable to cry for him. While for most, emotional numbness is an initial response to death, this inability to cry was weighing heavily on her. Through the reflections of the group, we offered that the crying would come when it was meant to come. Within a couple of sessions, she returned and reported that one particular evening she sat down and the tears just started flowing. This crying was the cathartic experience she needed to relieve the multiple burdens she had felt in her inability to cry.

There is no roadmap for grieving. Yes, religions have rituals that act as roadmaps through the process. And yes, those roadmaps can and often do provide elements of comfort and integration. Yet, for so many people, grieving and mourning is an ongoing part of one’s life that cannot be limited to the ritual times as prescribed. Grieving and mourning is like a wave of ups and downs, with the hope that the waves over time become less like tsunamis and more like the tranquility of a nice sunny day at the beach.

For Abraham, the death of Sarah was a shock. He was seemingly unprepared. As some do, when the initial shock hits, we go into a focused mode of trying to absorb the death. In his case, Abraham began by working through an intellectual acceptance of her death. This is symbolized by the term eulogize. Through talking about her, remembering her for who she was, it created for him the first step in his grief. It was only when he was able to integrate her loss into his conscious does he cry and then attend to burying her. Similar to the woman in my group, Abraham’s reaction was the reaction Abraham needed in the timing that it needed to happen.

When we make ourselves present to support those going through the challenges of illness and death, let us remember that each person absorbs, integrates and reacts to death differently, depending on a variety of factors. By reflecting on this, we can better be present to people in a non-judgmental, supportive way.

Encourage the wishes of the ill

One of the challenges people face when visiting others who are sick, grieving, or in need of companionship and social connection is the ability to recognize that the visit is for the person being visited and not for themselves. Many times, we go with all the right intentions yet somehow it becomes our agenda that overshadows the good that our presence is meant to provide. I have witnessed many situations where the one being visited was doing something that many would consider “not the normal way we act” and get chastised even though the person was finding more comfort in the outside the norm activity.

This week’s Torah portion, Vayera, begins with the story of Abraham and the 3 visitors (angels, servants of Gd). The story is also understood to be a lesson in visiting the sick. The opening verse states:

וַיֵּרָ֤א אֵלָיו֙ יְהֹוָ֔ה בְּאֵלֹנֵ֖י מַמְרֵ֑א וְה֛וּא יֹשֵׁ֥ב פֶּֽתַח־הָאֹ֖הֶל כְּחֹ֥ם הַיּֽוֹם׃

The LORD appeared to him by the terebinths of Mamre; he was sitting at the entrance of the tent as the day grew hot.

Genesis 18:1

Rashi, the pre-eminent medieval commentator on the Bible, offers a couple of comments on this verse which sees this as Gd visiting the recently ill Abraham, who was recovering from his circumcision.

וירא אליו

AND THE LORD APPEARED UNTO HIM

to visit the sick man. R. Hama the son of Hanina said: it was the third day after his circumcision and the Holy One, blessed be He, came and enquired after the state of his health (Bava Metzia 86b)

Rashi explains that Gd’s appearance is unusual in that most biblical references to Gd “appearing” are into a direct prophecy, so there must be another motivation. The motivation is to visit the recovering Abraham. From this read, we learn that visiting the sick is a Godly act, or to reference the title of a work by a close colleague, visiting the sick is To Walk in God’s Ways.

Rashi offers a further read of this visit. When Gd is “present” to Abraham, Gd “presumes” that Abraham needs to recover further. As such, as Rashi indicates:

כחום היום

IN THE HEAT OF THE DAY

The Holy One, blessed be He, brought the sun out of its sheath that he might not be troubled by travellers, and when He perceived that he was grieved that no travellers came He brought to him angels in the form of men (Bava Metzia 86b).

Rashi finds the description of the weather at the end of the verse seemingly out of place. As such, he presents a Talmudic read which suggests that the heat of the day was Gd’s way of caring for Abraham. By making the heat seemingly unbearable, it would allow Abraham the rest he presumably needed by keeping guests away. Yet, this attempt at removing extra work for Abraham backfired, as it caused Abraham further anguish. Rashi expresses the opinion that this caused Abraham to not only have the continued physical anguish of recovering from the recent procedure but also the spiritual anguish of the loss of a valuable element of who he was, the man of hospitality. As a result, Gd “changes” approaches and provides guests to Abraham to help uplift his spirits.

(As an aside, this comment could explain the strangeness of why Abraham is offered the prophecy about a son to be born both by Gd and then these messengers. The angels were not needed to tell Abraham the prophecy but by being sent, there needed to be a clear cut mission, not just, “make Abraham feel uplifted.” )

As we contemplate this deeper read of the verse, it presents a valuable lesson about visiting the sick and visiting the bereaved. We are there to serve the person, not to serve ourselves. Just as Gd realized Abraham needed the guests and the regular routine to help him heal, we too should recognize that the healing comes from finding ways to promote the individual’s personal sense of wellbeing.

Speak Truth in Your Heart

In the piece for today in Growing Each Day, Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski offers a comment on Psalm 15:1-4:

מִזְמ֗וֹר לְדָ֫וִ֥ד יְ֭הֹוָה מִי־יָג֣וּר בְּאהֳלֶ֑ךָ מִֽי־יִ֝שְׁכֹּ֗ן בְּהַ֣ר קדְשֶֽׁךָ׃

A psalm of David.

LORD, who may sojourn in Your tent,
who may dwell on Your holy mountain?

הוֹלֵ֣ךְ תָּ֭מִים וּפֹעֵ֥ל צֶ֑דֶק וְדֹבֵ֥ר אֱ֝מֶ֗ת בִּלְבָבֽוֹ׃

He who lives without blame,
who does what is right,
and speaks truth in his heart;

לֹֽא־רָגַ֨ל ׀ עַל־לְשֹׁנ֗וֹ לֹא־עָשָׂ֣ה לְרֵעֵ֣הוּ רָעָ֑ה וְ֝חֶרְפָּ֗ה לֹא־נָשָׂ֥א עַל־קְרֹבֽוֹ׃

”whose tongue is not given to evil;-a
who has never done harm to his fellow,
or borne reproach for [his acts toward] his neighbor;

נִבְזֶ֤ה ׀ בְּֽעֵ֘ינָ֤יו נִמְאָ֗ס וְאֶת־יִרְאֵ֣י יְהֹוָ֣ה יְכַבֵּ֑ד נִשְׁבַּ֥ע לְ֝הָרַ֗ע וְלֹ֣א יָמִֽר׃

for whom a contemptible man is abhorrent,
but who honors those who fear the LORD;
who stands by his oath even to his hurt;

Rabbi Twerski suggests the following psycho-spiritual reading for this section of verses.

People often fail to grow because they are reluctant to face the painful truth that they have done wrong. We have an innate tendency to avoid pain, and therefore we are apt to conjure up rationalizations that justify our behavior. These rationalizations are nothing but lies – sometimes clever and convincing, but lies nonetheless. Facing the truth and accepting the pain that comes with it requires courage.

People who “speak truth in their heart” says the Psalmist, do not retract their word even if it is to their own hurt. On the other hand, those who constantly seek to change everything to conform to their maximum comfort are only lying to themselves.

Growing Each Day P. 44

As I was reading this piece this morning, I found myself reflecting on the challenge of combating our innate attempts at self-deception and justification. The first example that came to mind was in the area of goal setting, a fundamental element in working on personal growth. How often do we have a goal in mind and yet find reasons to push it off, to change it for convenience or to just give it up because we missed a deadline along the way? How often do we then find justifications for our actions? Life is never a straight line and plans do often get waylaid for a variety of reasons (“Man plans and God laughs”). Yet, do we allow these curveballs to dictate our lives or do we find ways to incorporate the curveballs into how we choose to live?

Everyday we have affords us a new opportunity, a new beginning. A lost opportunity does not have to be the end of an opportunity. Rather, if we realize it is a bump in the road, we can pick up and continue along the path. If we are true to our perceived mission, our perceived goals in life, the bumps along the way can also guide us forward.

As we work daily on our growth, may we not allow unforeseen to completely derail us from our personal hopes and dreams.

Perfection is about process not perfection

In my continued quest for growth, one area that is constantly standing in the way is perfection. It is a nurtured habit of so many of us to “accept” nothing less than perfection. While we all know that there is no such thing as perfection or perfect people, we still struggle to accept our imperfections. I came across an interesting take on this strive towards perfection in the following analysis of Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski o.b.m. in his work Growing Each Day.

It states in Genesis 17:1:

וַיְהִ֣י אַבְרָ֔ם בֶּן־תִּשְׁעִ֥ים שָׁנָ֖ה וְתֵ֣שַׁע שָׁנִ֑ים וַיֵּרָ֨א יְהֹוָ֜ה אֶל־אַבְרָ֗ם וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אֵלָיו֙ אֲנִי־אֵ֣ל שַׁדַּ֔י הִתְהַלֵּ֥ךְ לְפָנַ֖י וֶהְיֵ֥ה תָמִֽים׃

When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the LORD appeared to Abram and said to him, “I am El Shaddai. Walk in My ways and be perfect.”

Rabbi Twerski notes:

If a human being cannot be perfect, why did God demand perfection of Abraham?

The entire context of the verse indicates both the definition of this perfection and the way in which it can be achieved. It is obvious that no human being can aspire to equal God’s degree of perfection. What man can achieve is to live according to God’s teachings and thereby live up to his own human potential; more than man’s personal maximum is not possible of expected. Thus, God did not say simply ‘Be perfect;’ He said, ‘Walk before me – and thereby you will be perfect.’ When a person tries to live according to the Divine teachings, that constitutes human perfection, although one is technically never perfect.

Growing Each Day P. 37

Perfection is a process. Perfection is something we strive towards by living a spiritual, divinely inspired life. Perfection is the ability to walk forward even while remaining imperfect. When we strive to improve, our next action is a first action, a new opportunity and new beginning to get it better. In a way, each opportunity we take in life to live up to our potential is another perfection on a continuum of perfection.

May we strive towards the reframing of perfection as not about the end result but about the process of getting to the end.

Lech lecha – blessing of a new journey

Genesis Chapter 12:1-3 presents the divine call to Abraham to begin a new journey, to a new land, with the hope of a new beginning. The verses state:

וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יְהֹוָה֙ אֶל־אַבְרָ֔ם לֶךְ־לְךָ֛ מֵאַרְצְךָ֥ וּמִמּֽוֹלַדְתְּךָ֖ וּמִבֵּ֣ית אָבִ֑יךָ אֶל־הָאָ֖רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֥ר אַרְאֶֽךָּ׃

The Lord said to Abram, “Go forth (for you) from your native land and from your father’s house to the land that I will show you.

וְאֶֽעֶשְׂךָ֙ לְג֣וֹי גָּד֔וֹל וַאֲבָ֣רֶכְךָ֔ וַאֲגַדְּלָ֖ה שְׁמֶ֑ךָ וֶהְיֵ֖ה בְּרָכָֽה׃

I will make of you a great nation,
And I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
And you shall be a blessing.

וַאֲבָֽרְכָה֙ מְבָ֣רְכֶ֔יךָ וּמְקַלֶּלְךָ֖ אָאֹ֑ר וְנִבְרְכ֣וּ בְךָ֔ כֹּ֖ל מִשְׁפְּחֹ֥ת הָאֲדָמָֽה׃

I will bless those who bless you
And curse him that curses you;
And all the families of the earth
Shall bless themselves by you.”

At first glance, it appears that God’s call to Abraham is to leave everything behind and travel forth to start fresh. Yet, in 12:5 we read that Abraham doesn’t travel alone or empty handed:

וַיִּקַּ֣ח אַבְרָם֩ אֶת־שָׂרַ֨י אִשְׁתּ֜וֹ וְאֶת־ל֣וֹט בֶּן־אָחִ֗יו וְאֶת־כָּל־רְכוּשָׁם֙ אֲשֶׁ֣ר רָכָ֔שׁוּ וְאֶת־הַנֶּ֖פֶשׁ אֲשֶׁר־עָשׂ֣וּ בְחָרָ֑ן וַיֵּצְא֗וּ לָלֶ֙כֶת֙ אַ֣רְצָה כְּנַ֔עַן וַיָּבֹ֖אוּ אַ֥רְצָה כְּנָֽעַן׃

Abram took his wife Sarai and his brother’s son Lot, and all the wealth that they had amassed, and the persons that they had acquired in Haran; and they set out for the land of Canaan. When they arrived in the land of Canaan,

Abraham travels on this pilgrimage with family, an entourage from his homeland and his property. This would seem to contradict the nature of what we imagine as Abraham’s sacred pilgrimage. How do we resolve this potential contradiction between the divine request and the actual fulfillment of the request?

When we consider the overall nature of Abraham’s appointed mission, I believe that this is not in fact a contradiction but a key to the Abraham story and a lesson to learn. Abraham’s journey needed to be a new start, yet one which built off of his past. Abraham needed to leave behind the elements of his past that would have hindered him, that would have weighed him down. At the same time, in order to fulfill the promise of God, that he would be the founder of a great nation and a blessing to all those whom he encounters, the promise had to emerge from that which already existed. His was a journey that was more than just a physical pilgrimage. It was a journey of internal growth and change.

Abraham’s journey is a symbol for how we start anew. For most of us, the desire to change often leads down a road where we wish to leave everything behind and start completely fresh. Yet, for most of us, this is not a realistic way to approach change, growth and establishing a new beginning. Growth and change need us to leave the past in the past, move forward from what was, and yet not neglect all that got us to the moment of change. True growth and change emerges from the discovery of our core and enhancing those things we have cultivated throughout our lives. If we allow our past to be there as a guidepost and only a guidepost, not a chain to keep us trapped, we can experience the blessings of the new and better path we find ourselves on.

Chaos is the First Blueprint of Creativity

Genesis begins with God creating the world, heaven and earth, with everything being in a state of chaos.

בְּרֵאשִׁ֖ית בָּרָ֣א אֱלֹהִ֑ים אֵ֥ת הַשָּׁמַ֖יִם וְאֵ֥ת הָאָֽרֶץ׃

When God began to create heaven and earth—

וְהָאָ֗רֶץ הָיְתָ֥ה תֹ֙הוּ֙ וָבֹ֔הוּ וְחֹ֖שֶׁךְ עַל־פְּנֵ֣י תְה֑וֹם וְר֣וּחַ אֱלֹהִ֔ים מְרַחֶ֖פֶת עַל־פְּנֵ֥י הַמָּֽיִם׃

the earth being unformed and void, with darkness over the surface of the deep and a wind from God sweeping over the water—

Genesis 1:1-2

Many different ideas have been learned and extrapolated from these first two verses alone. I would like to offer another thought, one which has been sitting in my heart for some days. It was inspired by a quote fromfrom Torah Studies, an adaptation of lessons delivered by Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson o.b.m. presented by Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks o.b.m. (from his days before being Chief Rabbi of Great Britain). (I originally received this book as a Bar Mitzvah gift many years ago and have recently begun reading parts of it again).

The essay on Genesis reflects upon:

In the chronicling of creation, one detail strikes us with the force of mystery: Why was light created before everything else, when there was nothing to benefit from it? The Rabbinical explanation only adds to the mystery, for we are told that the light was immediately “hidden for the righteous in the world to come.” The Rebbe explains the difficulty and elucidates the implications of the creation narrative for the individual and the conduct of his life.

https://www.chabad.org/therebbe/article_cdo/aid/110297/jewish/Torah-Studies-Bereishit.htm

As part of this analysis, R. Schneerson presents a piece regarding a rabbinic idea that when Gd created the world, Gd “looked” into the Torah as if the Torah was the blueprint of the world. In R. Schneerson’s words (as presented by R. Sacks):

To resolve these difficulties we must consider a remark made by the Midrash: “Just as a king wishing to build a palace does not do so spontaneously but consults architect’s plans, so G‑d looked into the Torah and created the world.”

In other words, by examining the order in which a man sets about making something which requires planning and forethought, we can learn something of G‑d’s order in bringing the world into being.

https://www.chabad.org/therebbe/article_cdo/aid/110297/jewish/Torah-Studies-Bereishit.htm

Or, more precisely, the Midrash states:

דָּבָר אַחֵר אָמוֹן, אֻמָּן. הַתּוֹרָה אוֹמֶרֶת אֲנִי הָיִיתִי כְּלִי אֻמְנוּתוֹ שֶׁל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא, בְּנֹהַג שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם מֶלֶךְ בָּשָׂר וָדָם בּוֹנֶה פָּלָטִין, אֵינוֹ בּוֹנֶה אוֹתָהּ מִדַּעַת עַצְמוֹ אֶלָּא מִדַּעַת אֻמָּן, וְהָאֻמָּן אֵינוֹ בּוֹנֶה אוֹתָהּ מִדַּעַת עַצְמוֹ אֶלָּא דִּפְתְּרָאוֹת וּפִנְקְסָאוֹת יֵשׁ לוֹ, לָדַעַת הֵיאךְ הוּא עוֹשֶׂה חֲדָרִים, הֵיאךְ הוּא עוֹשֶׂה פִּשְׁפְּשִׁין. כָּךְ הָיָה הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מַבִּיט בַּתּוֹרָה וּבוֹרֵא אֶת הָעוֹלָם, וְהַתּוֹרָה אָמְרָה בְּרֵאשִׁית בָּרָא אֱלֹהִים. וְאֵין רֵאשִׁית אֶלָּא תּוֹרָה, הֵיאַךְ מָה דְּאַתְּ אָמַר (משלי ח, כב): ה’ קָנָנִי רֵאשִׁית דַּרְכּוֹ.

Alternatively, amon means “artisan.” The Torah is saying, “I was the artisan’s tool of Hashem.” In the way of the world, a king of flesh and blood who builds a castle does not do so from his own knowledge, but rather from the knowledge of an architect, and the architect does not build it from his own knowledge, but rather he has scrolls and books in order to know how to make rooms and doorways. So too Hashem gazed into the Torah and created the world. Similarly the Torah says, “Through the reishis Hashem created [the heavens and the earth],” and reishis means Torah, as in “Hashem made me [the Torah] the beginning (reishis) of His way” (Mishlei 8:22).

Genesis Rabbah 1:1

In reading this piece, I was struck with an alternative question to the one that drives the essay. I was wondering, if Gd had used the Torah as a blueprint, how does that jive with the notion of chaos, unformed and void, that we read about in the second verse of the Torah? When a person has a blueprint, while the outcomes might not be known, the picture presented should be clear enough to have some form and substance.

In reflecting on this, I realized that the answer was sitting in from of me. Any creative act we have has multiple blueprints throughout the process. As someone who enjoys writing and tries to present ideas in the word form, this resonated for me in the following manner.

The initial idea for something is a jumble of thoughts in my head with some fundamental connector between the ideas. Often this chaos is so distorted that the words don’t even begin to flow. As I continue to write and reflect, the idea becomes clearer in my conscious. It then begins to take shape into a new blueprint, but even that blueprint is not the complete product. Rather it is a more orderly picture of what message to convey and how to convey it. This continues on and on until the product is “complete.”

The story of Genesis reflects this same creative process to us. Gd has a blueprint. Gd “creates” heaven and earth. The picture becomes clearer but is still chaos. Then Gd begins to place things in a certain order, starting with “light” and concluding with rest (the Sabbath. Rest, the cessation from creation, is the real last created thing described, not the human being, a topic unto itself).

All new beginnings start from an idea, a blueprint, but often a blueprint that is chaos by its nature. In order to achieve, we have to work and work to improve and hone the blueprint to something that is orderly and clear.

Reflections on Communal vs. Individual Prayer

The following are a rough recreation of remarks given in synagogue over Shabbat, August 13-14, 2021:

The question we as a community have been grappling with this summer is, what makes us a community, a congregation, a gathering of people to pray in one location. I have been reflecting on this question for months. What makes a community? Is it similar goals and purpose, a singular language of prayer or is it perhaps our differences?

Since our particular exploration is dependent on prayer as the nature of a synagogue is to be a gathering place to pray as a community, what does this search unveil for us in these weeks leading to Rosh Hashanah? Allow me to offer a couple of approaches on merging the communal with the individual needs we encounter in prayer.

  1. The 6th Rebbe of Chabad, R. Yitzchak Yosef Schneerson, shared an anecdote about prayer that has sat heavily on my mind for many years. (This is found in a work Likkutei Dibburim though I cannot recall exactly where it is, so I am reconstructing this story from memory, so any errors are mine alone). He describes how (I think) his grandfather one time spoke about a non-Chasidic man, describing the man’s virtues, but concluding with the statement, “But there is one flaw the man has…He prays in a minyan (prayer quorum).” This is a strange vignette, yet, I would like to suggest that the statement about praying in a quorum is meant to convey a deeper message. There is much within the Jewish tradition that lends itself to the power and importance of communal prayer. For example, there are certain specific prayers that may only be recited when there is a prayer quorom. The Rebbe is not disparaging communal prayer. Rather, I think he is suggesting that prayer cannot be seen merely as a communal obligation because then a person is liable to get subsumed in the communal, forskaing prayer’s inherent individuality. We must not presume being in community is enough. During the earlier days of the COVID era, when we didn’t have the opportunity to gather together in person, we yearned to be together. At the same time, many of us found something in spending time at home, praying on our own, at our own pace, in a manner that cannot be fully duplicated in a synagogue. Coming back together, slowly but surely since June 2020, was a process of learning how we can bring the new things we learned in our solitude back into our communal setting.
  2. The first Rebbe of Chabad, R. Schneur Zalman of Liadi, the Alter Rebbe, in his work Likkutei Torah, presents the famous metaphor about how in the month leading to Rosh Hashanah, Elul, G-d, in the role of King, is in the field readily accessible. He writes: “Its like a King who is greeted by the people of the city before entering the actual city. They receive the king in the field. And the King receives them, granting permission to whoever would like to get an audience. The king receives everyone with a warm and welcoming countenance. Afterwards, when the king enters the palace, only those who have explicit permission may enter to see the king.” In a letter quoting this passage, the 7th Chabad Rebbe, R. Menachem Mendel Schneerson, defines this experience using the imagery of praying during the month of Elul. We should see ourselves as praying face to face, with no barriers, before Gd. There is nothing in our way during this time. This description expresses the same duality of communal and individual prayer. The community greets the king, greets G-d, yet each individual is granted private time to commune. We need the communal greeting to open the door to the individuality of our being face to face with G-d.
  3. There is a custom among Hasidim and among those who identify with more mystical forms of Jewish worship to recite the words of Leviticus 19:19, “Love your neighbor as yourself” as a preliminary reflection before the formal prayer service each morning. This practice is attributed to R. Isaac Luria. While we each come to prayer with our individual needs, we know how much value there is placed on communal prayer. Communal prayer is seen as carrying a certain strength to overcome judgment upon the individual. There is a power in numbers. Yet, prayer is often an individualistic confrontation with the Almighty. We often bring our own needs into our prayers. Yet, there is concern we would get too preoccupied with our individual needs, so as a meditation, we are to remember that we are gathering as a group. By recognizing how we are to open our hearts to our neighbors like they are ourselves, connecting to each other, we can find the bridge between our individual needs and our communal needs. We remember that we are interdependent.

As we can see from these three examples, prayer is a complicated dance of our individual needs and emotions while simultaneously remembering our responsibility to be together communally in engaged with Gd. If we are just a community gathering, we can often allow the functionality of communal prayer to be the driving force. At the same time, without the community, we aren’t afforded the unique opportunity of this time of year to grow and change as individuals. We cannot be just about ourselves but must connect with one another through a sense of love and heart. This is not an easy balance.

As we continue to navigate and negotiate these needs during this crazy time, may we merit to find the balance that will help guide us smoothly into a new and better year, where we can find a normalcy and stability to continue to inspire each other and grow, both as individuals and as a community.

Blessings and Curses: reflection on last week’s Torah portion.

Last week, I was struck by a word choice in the book of Job, chapter 1. It states in Job 1:11

וְאוּלָם֙ שְֽׁלַֽח־נָ֣א יָֽדְךָ֔ וְגַ֖ע בְּכל־אֲשֶׁר־ל֑וֹ אִם־לֹ֥א עַל־פָּנֶ֖יךָ יְבָרְכֶֽךָּ׃ 

But lay Your hand upon all that he has and he will surely blaspheme You to Your face.”

In the Hebrew verse, the word used for blaspheme is the word for blessing. In reflecting on the use of the word for blessing as a substitute for the word for cursing, I began wondering if there is a message in using a positive word to denote a negative word when it comes to blessings and curses. This thought led me to Deuteronomy 11:26-28, the first three verses in this past week’s Torah portion. 

רְאֵ֗ה אָנֹכִ֛י נֹתֵ֥ן לִפְנֵיכֶ֖ם הַיּ֑וֹם בְּרָכָ֖ה וּקְלָלָֽה׃

 See, this day I set before you blessing and curse:

אֶֽת־הַבְּרָכָ֑ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר תִּשְׁמְע֗וּ אֶל־מִצות֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹֽהֵיכֶ֔ם אֲשֶׁ֧ר אָנֹכִ֛י מְצַוֶּ֥ה אֶתְכֶ֖ם הַיּֽוֹם׃

blessing, if you obey the commandments of the LORD your God that I enjoin upon you this day;

וְהַקְּלָלָ֗ה אִם־לֹ֤א תִשְׁמְעוּ֙ אֶל־מִצְות֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹֽהֵיכֶ֔ם וְסַרְתֶּ֣ם מִן־הַדֶּ֔רֶךְ אֲשֶׁ֧ר אָנֹכִ֛י מְצַוֶּ֥ה אֶתְכֶ֖ם הַיּ֑וֹם לָלֶ֗כֶת אַחֲרֵ֛י אֱלֹהִ֥ים אֲחֵרִ֖ים אֲשֶׁ֥ר לֹֽא־יְדַעְתֶּֽם׃ {ס}

and curse, if you do not obey the commandments of the LORD your God, but turn away from the path that I enjoin upon you this day and follow other gods, whom you have not experienced.

Moses presents the Israelites with a simple, yet profound choice. One either chooses a blessing or a curse, which are both contingent on one action, following or not following the commandments. In other words, the difference in the positive or negative outcome seems to boil down to a simple equation of listening or not listening. The imagery this closely resembles is describes by Maimonides in the Mishneh Torah, Laws of Repentance 3:1: 

כָּל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד מִבְּנֵי הָאָדָם יֵשׁ לוֹ זְכֻיּוֹת וַעֲוֹנוֹת. מִי שֶׁזְּכֻיּוֹתָיו יְתֵרוֹת עַל עֲוֹנוֹתָיו צַדִּיק. וּמִי שֶׁעֲוֹנוֹתָיו יְתֵרוֹת עַל זְכֻיּוֹתָיו רָשָׁע. מֶחֱצָה לְמֶחֱצָה בֵּינוֹנִי. וְכֵן הַמְּדִינָה אִם הָיוּ זְכֻיּוֹת כָּל יוֹשְׁבֶיהָ מְרֻבּוֹת עַל עֲוֹנוֹתֵיהֶן הֲרֵי זוֹ צַדֶּקֶת. וְאִם הָיוּ עֲוֹנוֹתֵיהֶם מְרֻבִּין הֲרֵי זוֹ רְשָׁעָה. וְכֵן כָּל הָעוֹלָם כֻּלּוֹ: 

Each and every one of the sons of man has virtues and vices. He whose virtues exceed his vices is a just man, and he whose vices exceed his virtues is an evildoer; if both are evenly balanced, he is mediocre. Even so is a state. If the virtues of all of its inhabitants exceeded their vices, it is, indeed, a just state; but if their vices exceeded, it is, indeed, a wicked state. Even such is a standard for the whole world.

Maimonides has us imagining a balanced scale and how one positive action will tip it towards blessing, and one negative action will tip it towards a curse.  This tipping of the scales represents the constant human struggle. In essence, life can always be seen in balance and each choice leads us down one of two paths until our next point of choice, when another path opens up. 

Yet, for most of us, choosing one path over another doesn’t seem like a simple, easy, two sides of a coin decision. Rather, it seems like a huge leap. I think this is symbolized in the immediate aftermath of Moses’ words of choice to the people. Immediately following Deuteronomy 11:26-28, Moses commands the people that upon entering Canaan, they are to stop and offer blessings and curses to each other, standing on the opposite mountains of Mount Gerizim and Mount Eival.  In picturing this communal event, we are left with another image of blessings and curses, namely the chasm between the two, as symbolized by the valley that stands between the two mountains. It is symbolic of huge differences between blessing and cursing.  How do we experience a blessing vs a curse?  What does it mean in life to feel blessed vs cursed?  

To summarize, in examining the images of blessings and curses as being a choice before oneself and something separated by a valley, we get a sense of the dialectic nature of these two terms. They exist simultaneously as both a mirror image of one another and as total opposites with completely different characteristics. 

One potential approach in reflecting on these dual images from a similar duality described in BT Sukkah 52a about the evil inclination:

כִּדְדָרֵשׁ רַבִּי יְהוּדָה לֶעָתִיד לָבֹא מְבִיאוֹ הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְיֵצֶר הָרָע וְשׁוֹחֲטוֹ בִּפְנֵי הַצַּדִּיקִים וּבִפְנֵי הָרְשָׁעִים צַדִּיקִים נִדְמֶה לָהֶם כְּהַר גָּבוֹהַּ וּרְשָׁעִים נִדְמֶה לָהֶם כְּחוּט הַשַּׂעֲרָה הַלָּלוּ בּוֹכִין וְהַלָּלוּ בּוֹכִין צַדִּיקִים בּוֹכִין וְאוֹמְרִים הֵיאַךְ יָכוֹלְנוּ לִכְבּוֹשׁ הַר גָּבוֹהַּ כָּזֶה וּרְשָׁעִים בּוֹכִין וְאוֹמְרִים הֵיאַךְ לֹא יָכוֹלְנוּ לִכְבּוֹשׁ אֶת חוּט הַשַּׂעֲרָה הַזֶּה וְאַף הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא תָּמֵהַּ עִמָּהֶם שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר כֹּה אָמַר ה׳ צְבָאוֹת כִּי יִפָּלֵא בְּעֵינֵי שְׁאֵרִית הָעָם הַזֶּה בַּיָּמִים הָהֵם גַּם בְּעֵינַי יִפָּלֵא

The Gemara answers: This can be understood as Rabbi Yehuda taught: In the future, at the end of days, God will bring the evil inclination and slaughter it in the presence of the righteous and in the presence of the wicked. For the righteous the evil inclination appears to them as a high mountain, and for the wicked it appears to them as a mere strand of hair. These weep and those weep. The righteous weep and say: How were we able to overcome so high a mountain? And the wicked weep and say: How were we unable to overcome this strand of hair? And even the Holy One, Blessed be He, will wonder with them, as it is stated with regard to the eulogy: “So says the Lord of hosts: If it be wondrous in the eyes of the remnant of this people in those days, it should also be wondrous in My eyes” (Zechariah 8:6).

In the above scenario, the imagery of choice making is contingent on the chooser. For some, the choice of not choosing an “evil path” should have been simple, easy, like pushing aside a strand of hair. The choice of blessing and curse was just to flip the coin to the other side. For others, there is a sense that each choice is not simple, but in fact massive, like traversing a valley. 

The choice between blessing and curse is a similar metaphor in that for those who fall into the trap of the curse, there will come a point in which one will sense of how easy it could have been to choose differently, like the strand of hair, like the tightrope.  For those blessed, the grandeur of the blessing will be such that it will be experienced as if one overcame so much to be able to receive this blessing.  

I believe this duality also explains the linguistic question from the book of Job. The text uses the language of blessing to speak of curse so as to cause us all to pause and reflect on the “test.” The goal was to push Job to see life through a darker pair of glasses via taking away all the good he had. Yet, in a backhanded way, I think the word usage, blessing, is implying how small the difference really is between that and a curse (there is another way to explain this with regard to how the Bible at times will avoid using “negative” language – BT Pesachim 3a). 

Today is the first day of Elul, which in the Jewish calendar signifies we are now one month from Rosh Hashanah. The tradition is that this month is a month of soul-searching and introspection, in preparation for the judgment of the world on Rosh Hashanah. Growth and change are hard work like climbing a mountain. For many, this sense of feeling one is fighting an uphill battle is so strong there is a tendency to just give up. Yet if we don’t climb the mountain, we might very well look back and wonder why we didn’t realize how easy it was to actually climb the mountain because the mountain was really not a mountain but rather it was a straight and smooth path.