Chapter 19 – We continue to explore what is the meaning of the hidden love. We discuss his metaphor of a flame on top of a candle needing to remain attached to the candle while also striving to rise up. This chapter continues to explore the topic of connecting to Gd no matter the cost and also understand that the fear of Gd we should be cultivating is a fear of being distant from Gd.
All episodes can also now be heard on Apple Podcasts – here
Do you want to work on taking the actions of your life and find meaning in all you do and who you are? Are you struggling with your spiritual growth. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com
Do we really want to attain the goal we have said we wish we could do? How much are we willing to do to make it happen?
In addition to a couple of other ideas I have shared about setting and working towards our goals, see for example here and here, I wanted to share something about achieving our goals that I was reading this morning. Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski, in Growing Each Day, offers a perspective on our attitude towards goal attainment:
While humans do not have an instinctual goal, we do have the capacity to discover our goals by use of our intellect. We must often overcome many hurdles and obstacles to reach out goals, and we must not allow ourselves to be discouraged by the struggles we encounter. Those who do not have the courage to overcome the challenge are likely to rationalize their retreat by saying that the goal is not worth the sacrifice. Instead of admitting their reluctance, they devalue the goal.
Moses knew that the land which was promised by Gd to Israel was the spiritual goal of the Jewish people, but he knew that when confronted with the difficulties of acquiring the land, some people might retreat and rationalize their reluctance by disparaging the land.
“Only if you are ready to climb mountains,” said Moses, “will you be able to truly see what the land is like.” The truth can be appreciated only by those who are ready to sacrifice for it.
P. 129
The question we must be asking ourselves when we start a task is whether we truly want to accomplish the goal. Are we willing to climb the mountain, working hard at times to achieve our wishes and dreams? What is our motivation? This can be a challenge in itself because motivations change. How many times do we start something with excitement and eventually lose momentum, forgetting the initial motivation?
As you set a new goal for yourself, I would encourage you to ask yourself the following kinds of questions and set demarcation points to review and reflect on the questions to see what continues to drive you and what has changed:
What is my goal?
What do I hope to accomplish?
How do I achieve my goal?
What is my motivation?
And when reviewing these questions during the process, some other questions to ask are:
Am I still motivated and why?
What has changed and how do I adapt those changes to my goal?
Is my original goal still the same goal or do I need to readjust?
May each of you find your goal and motivation to achieve your goal. May you find the resolve to climb the mountain and see.
If you are struggling to establish and pursue your goals and dreams and need help working through the underlying motivations? Or if you know someone who is working on goal setting and needs support in the process, Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com
Chapter 18. We take a deeper dive into the notion of love and fear of Gd being “a very near thing,” so near in fact that it is embedded in our DNA. We discuss how this spark always exists, which oftens comes out at times when our backs are up against the wall. I also expound on how this concept is another sign that the Alter Rebbe’s approach is one of encouraging even those who seem so far removed that there is always an opportunity to change. We cannot despair of being stuck.
All episodes can also now be heard on Apple Podcasts – here
Do you want to work on taking the actions of your life and find meaning in all you do and who you are? Are you struggling with your spiritual growth. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com
Chapter 17 – This chapter further examines how a person can reveal one’s innate love and fear of Gd. We explore the duality of the heart as the seat of thought and emotion. We discuss aspects of how our actions can bring about different emotional states from what we feel before the action. This chapter also offers us a new perspective on the Rasha and how it is possible for the Rasha to overcome the animalistic soul being the driver of life. We conclude with a short piece of understanding how repentance is a return to Gd through a kabbalistic read of the Hebrew word for repentance, Teshuva.
Do you want to work on taking the actions of your life and find meaning in all you do and who you are? Are you struggling with your spiritual growth. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com
Chapter 16. Today’s episode discusses the struggle of the Beinoni when they can’t feel love or fear of Gd. How do we keep ourselves motivated to fulfill our obligations when we aren’t finding the emotional connection we wish to have? In this chapter, we discuss how love and fear of Gd are innate and the mission to reveal that which is concealed through our actions, speech and thought. We also discuss how Gd, through the Torah, is the bridge of the mind and body, being the conduit to help us grow spiritually. This discussion leads to a message about not giving up the search and presuming the grass is greener on the other side because often the thing we are looking for is already here.
Do you want to work on taking the actions of your life and find meaning in all you do and who you are? Are you struggling with your spiritual growth. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com
Today I find myself thinking about losing and finding our voice in life. Many of the people I have worked with have expressed that their journey is one of “finding my voice,” meaning finding the ways to express “who am I” to the world. Often, this reflection emerges in a moment of rupture in someone’s life, when the person recognizes that a new opportunity is open to them to explore.
How do we foster this search to “find” the voice that we feel we let go of to an extent within a relationship without causing a detriment to relationship? How do we reclaim our independent, individual self without betraying the love and care we gave and received in the relationships we had?
I believe we tend to carry a multiplicity of emotions battling each other at every moment. One example that I see most often is in the midst of grief, it is very common for people to also express feelings of relief and gratitude that the deceased is no longer suffering. This feeling arises at the same time as the pain and sadness we feel about the death of the person. Too often, this conflicting emotional state leads to a sense of guilt and becomes a primary barrier to effective grieving. One of the tasks we work on is living with both types of emotions simultaneously, acknowledging and sitting in our sadness as well as admitting and embracing the future life we will build in this new stage of being.
Second, as one continues to search for and claims there “I,” it is crucial to express an acceptance of the changed reality. How many times do we feel that accepting the reality is a betrayal? To find and reclaim our voice, we need to have the space to express how relationships do create boundaries around our lives that often are not our ideal. This is not a lament on compromise or on pulling back the self for the sake of the whole. Being able to dwell within a relationship requires us to balance self and other. Yet, this can very often feel and be experienced as restrictive, which again, we were/are afraid to be honest about. When we suddenly don’t have to make the choice between self and other, many people express a guilt about feeling happy to do things they couldn’t do before. Yet, as this a normal feeling. As I work with people, I encourage people to embrace this feeling while recognizing and exploring the struggle that this feeling brings.
Through engaging in this struggle, I have found people eventually come to find the “voice” they want to come to forefront. By reclaiming our voice, we claim that the new path in front of us is the one we must walk, regardless of where it will go. While we can’t know where the path will lead, with our “voice” we have a powerful tool to help us explore our next journey, our new beginning.
Are you searching to reclaim your voice in the midst of change? Are you struggling in the midst of grief with embracing the next part of your life’s journey? Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com
Chapter 15 – This chapter describes the difference between the beinoni who is considered as not serving Gd vs. the one who is serving Gd as the distinction between the person who does just enough vs. the person who goes above and beyond to do a little extra. The Alter Rebbe derives this from a talmudic discussion about learning something 100 vs. 101 times, for the extra one time shows a revealed sense of love for the subject as opposed to just learning to fulfill an obligation. This concept is one which has powerful spiritual growth implications as I refer to during this podcast. I also discuss how this argument opens the door to a discussion of accepting those times when you aren’t able to go above and beyond (which we will return to again in subsequent discussions).
Do you want to work on taking the actions of your life and find meaning in all you do and who you are? Are you struggling with your spiritual growth. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com
Every so often, it is important to come back to certain basics of spiritual growth as a means of reflection. Perhaps, even more than that, it is important to habituate ourselves in practices that enhance our spirituality while at the same time finding ways to make the habits into something that continues to feel new. One of those is the opening words of the Amidah,
ה’ שפתי תפתח ופי יגיד תהילתך
Gd, open up my lips and my mouth will share Your praises.
While we could offer the same thoughts on the entire prayer piece, the Amidah, at least as it pertains to the opening 3 and closing 3 blessings, this line in particular is quite special and meaningful.
First, if we consider the structure of the prayer service as a whole, much of what we have already done before getting to the Amidah is praise of Gd. Second, if the point is that this prayer is like a gateway prayer to further prayer, why here, why now? Third, if we are really in this place of struggle, how can we even presume to open our mouth with a prayer to be able to pray?
As I find myself focused on this line, I would offer that a prayer before prayer is the most profound and important of prayers and that it being in the midst of prayer, not at the very beginning of each service is also of crucial importance. If you are like me, by the time you reach the Amidah, you are of two minds. There is the anticipation of having opportunity built in for more personal reflection while at the same time much energy has hopefully been exuded to reach this place. As such, I would offer that the line introducing the Amidah is the chance to regroup and recharge. It is a chance to remember and reflect on how we can only say these prayers because Gd has granted us the ability to speak these words.
I found the inspiration for this in thinking about something from last week’s Torah portion. As Moses is arguing with Gd about not wanting the job of leading the Israelites from Egypt, he tries one last argument (Exodus 4:10-12):
But Moses said to יהוה, “Please, O my lord, I have never been a man of words, either in times past or now that You have spoken to Your servant; I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.”
Now go, and I will be with you as you speak and will instruct you what to say.”
In addition to the irony of Moses using this as a final argument after seemingly having many words for excuses, what is most interesting is the point that it is not Moses who is able to speech on his own but Moses who is able to speak and argue because Gd allows him to argue.
In other words, we may be praying, expressing praises and wishes to Gd, but it is important to be regroup and ground ourselves time and again in the midst of prayer with the notion that Gd gives us the ability to pray and offer these words. Each prayer service is a journey, and on a journey it is important to take stock and recognize where you have come from, where you are and where you are going.
As we work on spiritual growth as it pertains to our prayerful lives, may we recognize the importance of knowing from Whom our prayers come and to Whom we direct our prayers.
Chapter 14. We continue to explore the uniqueness of the Beinoni. This individual would be someone who recognizes that while they can never be a tzaddik in the soul sense of the term, they should always be striving to reach a level similar enough to the righteous person that they can connect to a truly righteous soul. This chapter lays the groundwork for the connection between a rebbe and follower, in that the Rebbe is the role of the tzaddik and the followers are all the people struggling and striving forward. We also discuss the work needed to avoid evil and do good, including contemplating the loathsomeness of evil. I end with a short piece highlighting why some of the Tanya begins to sound repetitive and why that is an important part of this work.
Do you want to work on taking the actions of your life and find meaning in all you do and who you are? Are you struggling with your spiritual growth. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com
This podcast explores Chapter 13. Chapter 13 goes deeper into the beinoni’s struggles between the good and evil inclinations. We discuss how the beinoni will always be ruled by the divine soul even in the midst of the struggles internally between the two inclinations. We also answer one of the primary questions of the Tanya in discussing why a person should always view themselves as a “rasha,” for this perspective keeps people from getting complacent and falling into the wiles of the evil inclination. This is a great lesson for growth in general, always viewing oneself as needing to strive further.
Do you want to work on taking the actions of your life and find meaning in all you do and who you are? Are you struggling with your spiritual growth. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com
New beginnings: A blog about spirituality, chaplaincy and renewal 