Understanding Spiritual Care and chaplaincy

I came across a recent interview that my colleague and friend Rabbi Dr. Jason Weiner did with Patricia Greenberg. In this video, he describes the essential points of being a chaplain/spiritual care provider, the importance of advance directives, the balance between his personal philosophy and his role as chaplain, as well shares a few vignettes of his work as a healthcare chaplain.

For more on Rabbi Dr. Jason Weiner, visit his website at https://rabbiweiner.com/

Audio – Lessons in Tanya 46

End of chapter 28. We discuss how foreign thoughts during prayer are natural, as they are part of the battle between the divine and animal souls. We discuss how having a positive goal oriented mindset is better than an avoidance mindset when it comes to focus and concentration. The Alter Rebbe reminds us of the importance of turning to/including Gd in our fight to overcome the foreign thoughts breaking our focus.

Episode 46

All episodes can also now be heard on Apple Podcasts – here

Do you want to work on taking the actions of your life and find meaning in all you do and who you are? Are you struggling with your spiritual growth. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Rebbe Nachman’s Advice # 7 – Faith as the key to harnessing a New Beginning

Waking up each day, we start off on the next leg of the journey of life. Each day contains elements of that which happened in the past and many of us feel that one day blends into the next. Yet, each day is a new beginning, another opportunity to do new things or bring newer attitudes to that which might seem monotonous.

Rebbe Nachman tied in the notion of faith with waking up each morning, saying:

יט. עַל־יְדֵי אֱמוּנָה מְחַדְּשִׁין הַמֹּחַ, שֶׁהוּא הַנְּשָׁמָה, בִּשְׁעַת שֵׁנָה. וְזוֹכִין לְקַבֵּל עַל־יְדֵי הַשֵּׁנָה שֵׂכֶל חָדָשׁ וּנְשָׁמָה חֲדָשָׁה מֵאוֹר הַפָּנִים: (לק”א סי’ ל”ה אות ג’ ד’ ה’)

When a person is asleep he enters the category of “faith”, and this refreshes his intellect, which is the manifestation of his soul. The refreshment a person gains from sleeping can help him to attain new levels of religious awareness and perception of God. He can actually receive a new soul from the light of God’s countenance (35:3-5).

The epitome of faith is found in the state of sleep, the state that allows the soul to reconnect without the constraints of the physical. This opportunity affords us the chance to awaken with a new sense of perspective in life. Too often we all believe once we walk along a certain path we do not have the chance to veer off and do something new. By recognizing that each day is a fresh start, even in the midst of outwardly doing the same tasks from the day before, we can find new levels of spiritual growth.

May each of us work toward seeing all aspects of life, from the awake state to the sleep state, as opportunities for enhancing our faith and growing in our spirituality.

Are you struggling with your spiritual growth? Faith? Feeling lost in the midst of the journey of life? Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Audio – Lessons in Tanya 45

Part one of Chapter 28. We continue to discuss the topic of extraneous thoughts that come into our minds in the midst of our actions. This time the focus is on how to handle these thoughts in the midst of prayer and Torah study. We get into a discussion of how a tzaddik will deal with this versus how we, the beinoni, needs to work on not allowing the thought to bring us down. I offer a short parashat Mishpatim thought based on the past couple of days of Tanya as well.

Episode 45

All episodes can also now be heard on Apple Podcasts – here

Do you want to work on taking the actions of your life and find meaning in all you do and who you are? Are you struggling with your spiritual growth. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Rebbe Nachman’s Advice # 6 – Charity and Faith go together

Faith manifests itself in many forms. Much of our approach to faith is emotional/intellectual, in that we either try to gain clarity and understanding in what we see in the world or allow experience and gut to guide us on our journey. In the below quote from Rebbe Nachman, he suggests that faith has a more pragmatic, action oriented element as well:

טז. עִקַּר חֲשִׁיבוּת הַצְּדָקָה וּשְׁלֵמוּתָהּ הִיא בֶּאֱמוּנָה. וְכָל הַבְּרָכוֹת וְהַהַשְׁפָּעוֹת הַבָּאִים עַל־יְדֵי הַצְּדָקָה, אֵין לָהֶם שְׁלֵמוּת כִּי אִם עַל־יְדֵי אֱמוּנָה, שֶׁהִיא מְקוֹר הַבְּרָכוֹת. וְעִקַּר אֱמוּנָה זוֹכִין עַל־יְדֵי שְׁמִירַת שַׁבַּת קֹדֶשׁ: (לק”א סי’ ל”א אות ב’)

Charity is only perfect when it is combined with faith. The same is true of all the blessings which flow into the world through acts of charity. They are only perfect when there is faith. Faith is the source of blessings. Keeping the holy Shabbat — which is called the “source of blessings”— is the foundation of faith (31:2).

From this passage, we are given a shift in our perspective on both charity and faith. As to faith, Rebbe Nachman gives us a clear approach to its value in that faith allows us to be a receptacle for blessing. Through faith in its ideal, we open ourselves up to a more selfless approach to life as a whole. Obviously, this takes work and effort to overcome selfish faith, one in which we claim faith only so that we can receive blessing. Rather, we have to cultivate faith in our individual and collective missions to make the world a better place. All of this leads us to charity.

Charity is a complicated idea. Maimonides, for example, makes it clear that tzedaka, which we translate as charity, a term that implies a certain subjectivity in that we can choose how to be supportive, is not the correct translation of tzedaka. Rather tzedaka should be seen as a required form of supporting others in positions of need. Without tzedaka, the world wouldn’t stand as we would be relying only on acts of kindness, chesed, which are contingent on the goodness of one to another. Others work with the more colloquial approach to tzedaka as the equivalent of chesed, which I would argue is what Rebbe Nachman is suggesting. As such, this is where faith comes in. If we combine faith with our sense of charity, we will find it easier to give because this combination cultivates our sense of trusting our giving is not a diminishment in what we have but rather a conduit for furthering our collective mission as human beings in caring for all.

Finally, how does Shabbat fit in? Shabbat, cessation from doing, is the source of all blessing. When we allow ourselves to take a moment to witness all we have done, we can often gain a deeper perspective. We can see the bigger picture. We can have the time and space to reflect and to not be caught up in doing, allowing ourselves to strengthen our spirituality and ultimately our faith. This foundational principle is in line with the above. When we allow ourselves to stop, we are saying that we trust that even if we aren’t doing, the world can continue because we have done what we could. Faith is the sense that we do our part and believe that Gd will take care of the rest. Faith is a deep sense of trust. Resting/Shabbat and Charity both must be accompanied by this notion of faith in order for them to be done to their utmost and if they are, then we should hopefully see blessings come into this world as a result.

As we get ready to enter the Shabbat of the special reading for Parashat Shekalim, which is about the obligatory giving of a half shekel to support the tabernacle and Temple, may we see the merits of our giving shine a light on our lives.

Are you struggling with your spiritual growth? Faith? Feeling lost in the midst of the journey of life? Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Audio – Lessons in Tanya 44

End of chapter 27. This section looks at a second approach to overcoming our base, physical instincts, or overcoming the Sitra Achara (dark/other side). There are many permissible actions one is allowed to do yet we must also work on the motivation for doing them. If we are doing things for the sake of connecting to Gd, then we are also suppressing the power of the Sitra Achara from getting the upper hand. This comes through the means of learning how to delay giving in to our physical desires. We are not ignoring them. Rather we are using things like eating as a tools to grow spiritually. We also briefly explore the term Kadosh, translated as holy to find the depth and beauty of this term.

Episode 44

All episodes can also now be heard on Apple Podcasts – here

Do you want to work on taking the actions of your life and find meaning in all you do and who you are? Are you struggling with your spiritual growth. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Audio – Lessons in Tanya 43

Part two of chapter 27.  The Tanya warns us not to be sad about the internal struggle because the internal struggle is our mission in life.  He suggests that it is this struggle which helps define the Beinoni, the intermediary person, to whom he is writing.  We discuss the power of struggle and overcoming it to continue along a path of spiritual growth.  I reflect on the importance of maintaining practice even if our minds are not engaged because the actions can, if we are intentional, hopefully open the door to further spiritual growth.

Episode 43

All episodes can also now be heard on Apple Podcasts – here

Do you want to work on taking the actions of your life and find meaning in all you do and who you are? Are you struggling with your spiritual growth. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Rebbe Nachman’s Advice # 5 – Growing our Faith beyond the intellect

As we continue to explore some key points of faith as per Rebbe Nachman, this short piece is fundamental to his thought as well as a good reflection on the ideal engagement with faith.

יד. אֲפִלּוּ מִי שֶׁזּוֹכֶה לְהַמְשִׁיךְ אֵיזֶה שֵׂכֶל דִּקְדֻשָּׁה, צָרִיךְ לְהַמְשִׁיךְ אֱמוּנָה לְתוֹךְ הַשֵּׂכֶל, כִּי אֵין לִסְמֹךְ עַל הַשֵּׂכֶל בְּעַצְמוֹ: (לק”א סי’ כ”ד אות ו’)

Even a person who attains a certain level of religious insight and understanding must take good care to ensure that the perception he has is suffused with faith. Intellect alone is not something to rely upon (24:6).

For faith to have an impact on our lives, it cannot just reside in our minds. Faith needs to find its place in our heart, in the depth of who we are. How many of us struggle with faith not because we don’t have it but because we work too hard to try to understand the world. We are educated to think, debate, hypothesize, experiment and sometimes we forget the simple beauty of just seeing what is right there in front of us. Rebbe Nachman warns that the more we learn, the more we think we know, the more we must also work to strengthen the tie to the emotional feeling that is faith. I believe it is from that feeling that is faith we draw on the strength to withstand traumas and crises.

But this is no easy task. It is hard work to get to this place. How do we do that without intellectualizing our faith? Perhaps this is the power and beauty that we can find in prayer. Through prayer, we approach the world from a place of recognizing lack and looking to Gd to show us how to fill up what is missing. Prayer as a regular practice goes beyond knowledge. While it is important to have a deep understanding of the words we are saying, the deeper investment of energy in tefillah, prayer, is in allowing each time we pray to be a new experience, leaving the intellectual to the side and approaching it from the emotional.

May each of us find and cultivate our individual reservoir of faith as we also work to learn and increase our knowledge and understanding of the world.

Are you struggling with your spiritual growth? Faith? Feeling lost in the midst of the journey of life? Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Audio – Lessons in Tanya 42

Part one of chapter 27. We continue our discussion of finding the joy in the midst of sadness/melancholy. This time, the focus is on how we are building resistance to sin through pushing away our negative thoughts during our day to day business. Even when not involved in “holy” work, we are able to grow and improve passively by avoiding allowing the evil inclination to push us to sin.

Episode 42

All episodes can also now be heard on Apple Podcasts – here

Do you want to work on taking the actions of your life and find meaning in all you do and who you are? Are you struggling with your spiritual growth. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com

Who isn’t an imposter? The struggle of confidence

Let’s be real today. Who among us isn’t struggling to a certain extent with feeling like an imposter? According to this overview of imposter syndrome from Psychology Today, 70% of adults will have the feelings related to imposter syndrome at least once in life. In other words, most of us will have experienced this sense at some point in life.

I find myself reflecting on confidence and feeling like an imposter often. I find that part of the struggle is because we are inundated with the pristine images presented on social media. And just to be clear, we all do this. We get headshots to show our ideal selves, our smiling faces, our confidence. Most of us weed out the awkward picture for the perfect shot. We try not to post our foibles, only our successes.

Today, I want to say, I get the imposter feeling because many times I myself struggle with confidence. Recently I had an experience which reminded me of this struggle. The other day I was working along with a colleague and when he started speaking about me to a third person while I was present, sharing some of my “resume,” I found myself feeling both a sense of embarrassment to hear praise about myself (not in a humble sense, so don’t presume this comes from a sense of humility) and a sense of confidence being reminded that, yes, I am those things. For those who know me, that response is not surprising. Yes, I am aware of my resume and I do know what I have accomplished or attempted to accomplish. Yet, I struggle to believe it to be true. I struggle like we all struggle wondering whether we really have made an impact.

Why am I sharing this, being vulnerable with my readers?

I have a philosophy I bring to my work as a spiritual coach and I always tried to bring to my chaplaincy. It was something I learned early on in hospice work. Inevitably, during the course of a visit with the hospice patient and/or family, people would start asking me basic questions about my life, such as, was I married, did I have children, where do I live. At first, though I would respond, I was hesitant to answer, boundaries and all. Eventually, I realized that this was their way of testing the waters to see the humanness of the professional across the room. Sure, we could argue it is a form of avoidance in the midst of seriousness, but I truly believe it was a method for building trust. As such, I came to see this part of the conversation as a value unto itself. Sure, there are limits and professional boundaries and we aren’t there to unburden ourselves. Yet, if we don’t relate and connect on the basic human level, we will never fully engage the depth and sacredness of the space. In my coaching work, I have found the importance of bringing myself into the space, drawing from our common humanity to help further explore and build trust and relationship, which inevitably goes a long way to helping someone grow and discover.

Back to the imposter syndrome. We are all struggling in one way or another with who we really are and with how we perceive how others perceive us. It is part of being human. My hope is that each of has ways to remind ourselves that while it is a struggle, if we really think through all the naysaying, we might find how much we really are the person we claim to be, not an imposter pretending to be what we aren’t. May each of you find the confidence to overcome feeling like an imposter.

Are you struggling with your sense of self-confidence? Wondering if you really are the person people see you as? Are you working on your spiritual growth? Faith? Feeling lost in the midst of the journey of life? Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com