Struggles

I recall a history professor of mine in Yeshiva University sharing that he would give an A to the entire class if not a single “war” was fought during the entire two semester long course, War in Western Civilization. Of course, as he said, the odds were in his favor as there were very few years in recorded history (he claimed 11 at the time) that did not have some kind of war happening somewhere in the world.

As you can see, and please forgive my cynicism for just a moment, to suggest the world is in A crisis moment might be an unfair statement, for most of existence is one crisis moment after another, at least somewhere. Yet, I cannot help but feel that these current times truly feel like the crisis moments of my life, and I must presume of so many other people as well.

In essence, we are all struggling. We are all grieving. The world is not a safe place. Each community, each minority, has had multiple moments of this struggle, this feeling of crisis over the past couple of decades. This is not to suggest struggles just suddenly arose. Rather, it is to recognize that for so many of us, in this moment, we are overwhelmed by the consistency and waves of hatred, bigotry, anti…, and overall feelings of insecurity.

Before I go further, I would be remiss if I didn’t “blame” much of our emotional turmoil on the 24/7 information sharing that we have. And yes, we could just tune it out, as I hope many of you are trying to do. Yet, if you are like me, it is quite difficult to not always want to know and see who said what and when. Some have suggested “doomscrolling” is our way of creating a false feeling of having a bit of control back in these moments when we might feel like we are mere pawns in someone else’s game. While I think there is much validity in that suggestion, I am hard pressed to place the blame for all of the emotional ups and downs merely on the amount of time one spends online.

Let me repeat my words from the previous paragraph. We are all struggling and all grieving.

• We are grieving from the imagery of terrorism at its worst.
• We are grieving because we are seeing the truth that people will believe whatever they wish to believe, even if the information is patently false.
• We are grieving the continued loss of trust in the stories we hear and tell each other.
• We are grieving the overt signs of hatred all around us.
• We are grieving the loss of presumed safety, whether we really had it or not.
• We are grieving and struggling with feeling displaced.
• We are grieving because everything around us feels so out of sorts.

What do we do with this? Who do we turn to in times like this? How can we find support if even those who we naturally turn to for support are struggling?

1. Two weeks ago, I shared a thought on Reflections on how to deal with Crisis. Please take a look if you haven’t, and if you have, it is important to remember the actionable points each and every day.
2. Yes it is true that each of us, coaches, mental health professionals, chaplains, psychologists, etc. are also personally affected and struggling in our own lives with the depth of numbness and pain during this time when we are grieving. And we are trained within our professional disciplines to be present even within our own struggles. It is important in times like this to not try to weather these emotions alone. If you are struggling, having trouble staying on target in your own lives and/or trying to figure out the best strategies for how to be during this traumatic moment, please seek out help!

While we are truly in a time when it feels we are pushing the big boulder uphill by ourselves, I want to remind you of another image of going uphill. Perhaps instead of seeing the boulder we are pushing, we can see the hand reaching out to help us up, like in the image below from the background of my business card.

We are finding ourselves in an uphill battle, struggling with the waves of life. When I started my coaching practice, my vision was to be able to help people navigate the waves of life through the lens of spirituality and meaning making. We are all on these waves right now. My hope is that each of us has someone who is reaching out to pull us up. We can help pull others up while also needing a hand outstretched to us as well.

If you or someone you know is struggling, spiritually and/or emotionally, trying to find a sense of meaning in these times of struggle, know that you are not alone. Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com