Much of life is the struggle of our sense of control (The introduction to the Breslov Haggadah – free download here – presents a read of the sin of Adam and Eve as a sin presuming humanity has “real” control). We tend to believe we are in control of everything. Each of us struggles with this sense of self. Part of our expression of this control comes from our speech. While it is often important to speak up to protect ourselves, it is not without consequence. We find ourselves regularly in conflict with each other. This is true, even when we are right. Because being right can have unintended consequences.
In this piece from Rebbe Nachman, I find an approach to how we can overcome the sense of control we often struggle with. It comes from the importance of cultivating our ability to be silent.
לז. עַל־יְדֵי מַחְלֹקֶת, עַל־יְדֵי זֶה נוֹפְלִים מַחֲשָׁבוֹת שֶׁל רְשָׁעִים שֶׁהֵם מַחֲשָׁבוֹת שֶׁל כְּפִירוֹת עַל אֲנָשִׁים כְּשֵׁרִים. וְהַתִּקּוּן לָזֶה, שֶׁיִּשְׁתֹּק וְיִמְסֹר הַמִּלְחָמָה לַה’: (לק”א סי’ רנ”א)
Controversy and divisiveness can cause even God-fearing people to start having doubts about their beliefs. The answer is to be silent. And to leave the battle to the Lord (251).
Silence is not merely a passive state of allowing someone to take advantage or to trample over you. Here, Rebbe Nachman is suggesting that silence is a deliberate practice of realizing that very often, even if we think our approach might be the better approach, it is important to practice restraint and it is important to recognize that while we might think we are right, maybe the way we want to approach the situation requires a different, thought out strategy. Faith is recognizing that we don’t really know. Faith is often taking a step back and allowing things to play out instead of trying to force a situation into a certain box.
Spiritual growth is a constant approach of striving forward. To strive forward we need to work on our ability to cultivate connection and peacefulness. We cannot grow if things around us are broken, are divided. Sometimes these breaks are real and sometimes they are perceived to be broken. And sometimes the brokenness comes because we react instead of taking a moment, being in silence, and seeing the situation for its broader implications.
May each of us learn the art of silence as an act of expressing our faith.
Are you struggling with your spiritual growth? Faith? Feeling lost in the midst of the journey of life? Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com
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