Spiritual Companionship/Coaching is a Two Way Street

It is a both a beauty and a challenge. In the opening pages of the book, Parting: A Handbook for Spiritual Care Near the End of Life, the authors offer a powerful description of what spiritual companionship means:

When you sign on to be a spiritual companion, you enter a two-way street. You invite intimacy, and you share from your own soul. You are a source of strength, but you look to the dying person for inspiration and moments of strength as well.

You open the window for peace to the surround the one who is dying, and you feel its breeze on your face.

You look for truth, for the expression of candid and deep feelings ranging from agony and anger to joy and acceptance, and find you must bare your feelings also.

Both of you will grow. You will care for one another. And you both will find tears to be a healing release and closeness of body, mind, and spirit to be a shelter from the cold night of pain and grief.

p. 2-3

While the chaplain, spiritual coach, spiritual care provider, (pick your title), has the ethical and professional responsibility to maintain boundaries, the ability to accompany a person from a spiritual place requires the professional to enter the sacred space heart and soul. We are the mostly non-anxious presence in the midst of a person’s struggle with the vulnerabilities that come from illness and loss of sense of wholeness. As such, when we enter, we are open to relationship being a two way relationship. While this does increase the risk of compassion fatigue and burnout, when we are meeting people from the place of relationship, we must meet the person as two vulnerable, imperfect human beings, not just in a the hierarchical relationship that is presumed by the professional role the chaplain or spiritual coach brings to the space.

This reminds me of the following passage from the Talmud:

וְהַיְינוּ דְּאָמַר רַבִּי חֲנִינָא: הַרְבֵּה לָמַדְתִּי מֵרַבּוֹתַי, וּמֵחֲבֵירַי יוֹתֵר מֵרַבּוֹתַי, וּמִתַּלְמִידַי יוֹתֵר מִכּוּלָּן.

And this is what Rabbi Ḥanina said: I have learned much from my teachers and even more from my friends, but from my students I have learned more than from all of them.

BT Taanit 7a

If you are in the midst of illness or spiritual struggle and are in need of a person to be on this journey with you, Contact New Beginnings Spiritual Coaching and Consulting LLC at 732-314-6758 ext. 100 or via email at newbeginningsspiritualcoach@gmail.com